My girlfriend told me one of her fantasy...

Tonight, my girlfriend told me one of her sexual fantasy. it was actually pretty interesting, but yet surprising. She told me she fantasized about getting "raped" by me. or being totally "controlled" or. perhaps the word "rape" is too harsh, um, "mock raped"?. Anyway, you get the idea. I am actually not against it or anything, because everyone has different views in life, but is this consider normal? Any girl out there think the same way? I mean. I actually think it might be a turn on for some girls, in fact. even for some or most guys. I guess it's normal and ok if you keep it a fantasy and you do it with someone you love and trust right? It's just another way to spice up your sex life eh? I am pretty sure no female here would want to get raped by some random dude with force and physical abuses, but letting your boyfriend do it. I think it's normal? However, I want to know what other girls think about this? Anyone ever think about this?. Is thinking about getting "mock raped" by your boyfriend just a fantasy you want only him to fulfill. or is this just a F*cked up way to think. Any advice would be helpful, like. is this even normal? I mean. I am actually a bit confuse. can girls fantasy about getting raped by her boyfriend, but actually never want to experience getting raped? Does the two even cross?. or are they two totally different things? Is this also a sign of her showing that she loves and trust you so much that she is able to share with you her fantasy? So, does it mean the relationship is getting stronger? Help please. Thanks. =)
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Most Helpful Guys

  • You asked the girls but I have some insight into part of this. I don't know about normal (what is normal?) , but I can say it's not extremely rare. "Controlled" is the key word. She likes the idea of having things done to her - possibly things she wouldn't say out loud or doesn't feel like she should have to. She wants to feel your strength when she tries to resist and while she is helpless, she may want you to tell her what you are going to. She may even want to wear some things she doesn't mind having ripped off of her.

    There are two things that are concerns here: She will pretend to resist. So how do you know when she really does want you to stop and it's no longer part of the game. There has to be a signal. She may say nothing is out of bounds, but without getting into detail, how will you be sure? "You'll know" is not an answer.

    The other concern is that your control may exist only when she wants it to. At other times, she may still want the man to make decisions OR she may need to make sure she has the upper hand. It sounds crazy, but it happens. She may determine the game rules outside the bedroom. She may flirt with other guys to make you jealous in order to build up the frustration which you will take out on her later - or just to test how you react. It can be maddening if the lines are blurred and you never know when it's a game any more. So, you may find you get into the roll at first, but proceed with caution.

    • I forgot to mention that you can build up to this. Start by holding her hands behind her and giving her a spanking when she says something that gets you going. That also involves strength and control. See how she responds.

  • Most women's fantasy is exactly that a rape fantasy, not like rape rape, more like she wants you to be in control and her to be submissive, so do it man, just take her and throw her down on the bed, not hard, hold her hands down take off her clothes and have you way with her man she wants it do it. My ex loved it when I did that to her your not literally raping her your just taking control and your being dominate and she's being submissive, dude she will do anything you want to if you tell her.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Hmmm.

    She DEFINITELY loves and trusts you!

    Of all my fantasies, this is a pretty strong one of mine and it is NOT any easy one to share with someone! Even just to admit to was a HUGE deal for me, cos It's so controversial, I guess.

    Anyway.

    I can't speak for all girls, but I see it as very different from actual rape. The trust makes a huge difference. I find it really difficult to put into words what about this I find so appealing, but It's completely a turn-on, the thought of my guy having all that power. I like to be in charge sometimes too, don't get me wrong, but yeah, maybe it's just the dominance thing? Most guys find that trait in a woman a huge turn-on too.

    Sorry I can't explain it any better, but I guess just to get feedback that there are other women out there who find this very appealing too might help. ?

    Have fun!

  • She wants to be dominated by you I guess. Rape is in no way connected because of course your girlfriend is asking for you two to take part in the role play scenario.

    I think it's a great sign that she felt confident enough with you to share her fantasy.

    I don't think it's a weird way to think at all because lots of women love to submit to guys in the bedroom and a rape roleplay is probably one of the most obvious.

    The idea of real rape doesn't even come in to it because remember, you cannot rape the willing.

    Remember to have a safe word if you get involved in anything like this so that your girlfriend can stop proceedings at any time because she may want to shout "stop" but that may be part of the role play. A totally neutral word is better.

  • Yes! She does love you and trust you enough for her to be able to share her fantasies with you.

    Do not worry. It's completely normal. And yes, a 'mock rape' performed by a boyfriend is very hot! You should really go for it! And NO, a real rape is in NO WAY connected to a play in the bedroom (or somewhere else I suppose).

    She obviously likes to be dominated. Some girls like to be the dominas ;), and some girls like to exchange roles.

    Don't think so much about it! Just go for it! :)

    • You touched on it, but should we warn him not to be surprised if she wants to reverse roles later and maybe strap one on?

    • Hahahahahahaha Well, I think he (and all of us) should be ready for anything! xD

    • Haha... I'm prepped.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • I think you're right RAPE is a too harsh word for what's going on! Some women just like different kinky things in bed. She wants to be controlled and taken advantage off, its not weird, I've actually though about it my self (I haven't actually said that to anyone in particular) she must really trust you to let you in one her secret!

  • Its getting stronger, just start things slow, don't wanna ruin anything that you already have.

  • It is a normal fantasy. It is about being controlled.

  • Rape is too strong of a word. She just wants you to take advantage of her and its totally normal.

  • Yeah, I think she really trusts you to be able to tell you a fantasy like that. If you are interested in trying it, ask her if she really wants to try it or if it's just a fantasy. That way you won't scare her off if she's just testing the waters to see how far she can trust you. At any rate, if she says yes, that she wants to try it, I think the other people gave some good advice as to how to proceed (the safe word and all that). However, I would be sure that she really is ready for something like that before just going for it! Good luck dude! :)