My male friend wants me to take his virginity?

[Anonymous]

He's 18 and I'm 17. I've lost it but he hasn't. I've known for a while he wants me to sleep with him but I told him I won't. I went over to his a few weeks back and he kissed me but I pushed him away, he tried to dry hump me and was kissing me on the neck. Today, he tried the same. I told him to stop many times but in the end he did. He kept asking and asking and asking and I have in. I let him put one finger... Anyway, after that he wanted more and more. I told him no so many times! We both used to like each other months back but I didn't know he liked me at the time, not until I split with my ex. I tol him about what happened last year- a guy made me to something I didn't want to do by forcing me. When I was with him today, I froze for a second then put my shoes on and walked out. He knew I didn't want to do anything. A few minutes ago, he messaged me on snapchat saying hi and what I'm up to, so I told him straight that we're only friends and nothing will ever happen again. This guy is someone I tell everything to! I call him to ask him stuff when something's gone wrong. I don't know whether I should just stop being his friend but I see him everyday in collee so it's hard to avoid him. What should I do?

[lumos]

He's not a very good friend. He just wants to have sex, and he will keep pressuring you until you give in or cut ties with him. In my opinion, you should ditch his pathetic ass. It's clear that he 1) doesn't value as a person (because if he did, he wouldn't pressure you) and 2) that he doesn't give a shit about how his actions will affect your friendship. I. e. he doesn't care about your friendship either. He only cares about your body. He most probably thinks you're going to be easy because you've already had sex, too.
Dump him. Don't be friends with someone who doesn't want to act like a friend.

[SomethingWicked]

Tell him to respect your personal boundaries and if he doesn't tell hiI'm you can't be friends with someone who has no respect for you.

[SomethingWicked]

Him *

[yaddayaddayadda02]

She lets him finger her and dry hump her. How is he supposed to know where the boundary is?

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 A lot of girls who have previously been sexually assaulted, don't know how to stop these things from happening. He kept pressuring her, she kept saying no, he continued until she was worn down, yet it's all her fault? Don't think so. He should have respected her boundaries in the first place. But he didn't, did he? Yet, it's all her fault? Seriously...

[yaddayaddayadda02]

I never said it was all her fault. Are you claiming she's 100% innocent? For all I know she's geting off on the power of leading him on. Since we are both making assumptions, either one is valid.

[Asker]

I told him no and to stop so many times. At the end I had to push him off

[Asker]

Also I've told him from day one that I don't want to to anything sexual with him. Only be friends. I haven't led him on at all.

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 Except, what I said, was everything contained in her post.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

you are correct. But when a guy tries to dry hump you weeks ago that you don't want, it's appropriate to invite him over again?

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 Depends. Although I don't know if she did, however, after discussion of events and telling the person you didn't like the behaviour and you don't want it happening again and them understanding that, then, yes it's fine. This is speculating, but she may have thought it was a one time occurrence that wouldn't happen again after she rightly pushed him off.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You read her question. He dry humped her weeks ago, then tried it again today.

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 'He tried'

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 Also, we don't know what went on between them from then until now, they could have hung out with things back to normal.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He fingered her, at least today. So again, I ask... how many times does she keep meeting up with a guy she knows acts inappropriately before she's at least partially responsible for her behavior,

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 'I tol him about what happened last year- a guy made me to something I didn't want to do by forcing me.' Then he also tries to force her, however because he's her best friend, she probably let it slide the first time, she probably thought things could go back to normal. And they probably did go back to normal until today. If she let's it happena again it's her own fault. However, I don't think you should blame her for giving him another chance at friendship whenever until recently they'd been friends.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

He didn't just walk up to her and start fingering her. There was a lot of inappropriate things before it got to that point even today.

[SomethingWicked]

@yaddayaddayadda02 I feel you're failing to take into consideration her age, and the fact that children that age are easily persuaded, and don't want to loose the few friendships try have. If she had been older. Mid-late twenties. My response would have been different, however, she's seventeen.

[SomethingWicked]

They *

[yaddayaddayadda02]

she's mature enough to have sex and be in college.

[funkipunk]

There's a sexual disconnect between you two. That pretty much eliminates the potential of any relationship working. Whether that be an actual relationship or a friendship.

Only hang out with him if you're personally WANTING to hang out with him. It sounds to me though that you're really not enjoying spending time with him, so there's no reason to maintain this "friendship."

[Jayded1]

Please stop being his friend. You should only ever need to say no once. You are putting yourself in a very dangerous situation. And please tell me you reported the other guy who did that to you. no one should ever get away with that.

[Asker]

No I haven't :/

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You are an idiot to let a guy you aren't interested in finger you. You are really throwing a lot of mixed messages his way.

[Manbot]

Yep, I'm afraid you've already mind fucked him.

[BertMacklinFBI]

he just wants to use you obviously. next move is yours.

[ljrobert]

Sounds like a spineless prick. Stop hanging with him.

[abundantlyrich]

You must be weak willed. Don't grant him sex ever. He took adv of your friendship with him.

[CommieKiller]

You girls REALLY need to stop trying to use guys who are sexually attracted to you for friendship. Be friends with other girls. Oh wait, that demands mutual respect, something the majority of females nowadays are INCAPABLE of... Never mind, just keep on using guys for attention and leading them on.

[whatsername]

Guys do the same thing! I am close friends with guys who have rejected me because we were close friends before I told them and continued after. Maybe you aren't mature enough to be friends with someone who rejected you and didn't like you more than a friend, but people do it all the time

[RationalMale]

It never fails to amaze me when girls are like, "well, he kept asking and asking to fuck me/lick me/finger me, so I let him..."

[Asker]

But I didn't let him... He forced himself on me

[RationalMale]

"He kept asking and asking and asking and I have in. I let him put one finger... " When you "let" someone do this or that, it wasn't forced.

[AlphaLove]

I'm confused. Why not just fuck him? Don't girls like sex too?

[Asker]

Not with someone I thought was my friend

[Worldsugliestman]

This goes to show girls at any age can get sex whenever, wherever to whomever. Guys have to fight tooth and nail for it.

[Anonymous]

Let him fuck you; you've slept around so what's the big deal; easy ones are soon tramps so go ahead. He knows your reputation so give him a good lay.

[Asker]

I haven't slept around! I've slept with two. That's it. I don't want to sleep with him!