Religieus girl but have done sexual acts?

Question

I’m 27 and I have been very religieus until I was 24. I started to date a guy and gave him after 5 months of dating a few blowjobs and he liked to finger me. Then After then I started to date another guy and at the second date I gave him a blowjob and he fingered me. After that a year later dated a guy and on the first date he dry humped me in the car and licked my breasts. Lastly dated a guy and jerked him off in the car. This is an honest true story. Now I’m reflecting back and I’m so ashamed of the past few years. I dwelled away from my religion and I was a bit lost. In our culture it’s not ok at all for a woman to do these things. I was just a virgin for so long and sexual cravings came out of nowhere. I have not had sex yet and want to keep it till marriage but should I tell my future husband this or not?

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

I understand your situation, and don't feel so bad. I too am a Christian and I've struggled with sexual impropriety as well, which is not something I hide on GaG. I don't make any excuses for my sexual behaviors and experiences, but I'm not saying it's right for me have sex with women outside of marriage either, but I have done it and can't lie about it. I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is. Should I be stronger? Of course, and many times I have been, and others I've fallen short.

Don't beat yourself up about it too much because technically you're still a virgin and haven't been penetrated yet, although to me any sexual activity you have with another person makes you no longer a virgin. Either way, God does not hate you and he knows people screw up. That's not saying this is an excuse to keep screwing up like what some Christians want to use, but it's simply saying God knows people can and do sin.

Should you tell your future husband? I honestly think you shouldn't be too concerned about that at the moment. If it comes up with him at some point, then it comes up. But rest assured your future husband has most likely not been perfect sexually either, so don't obsess over this too much.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Tell him that if he wants to date or marry you... he'll be number five or number six?
Yeah, tell him... especially if he asks.
If you just end up with some f**k boy whose screwed 30 girls and craps on faith then I guess it won't matter but if you are dating a Christian guy who has saved himself for his wife... yeah he needs to know so he can make an informed decision as to whether he wants to end things or proceed ahead.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

I've been there. I had I've only had sex with 2 of my exes (in which i dated both for years and fell for the lovespell). Outside of them, I’ve dated many but kissed few, jerked off a couple, and let some feel up my boobs. I dont think the “foreplayish” activities is something your husband needs to know unless he asks. Like you said, you didn't have sex so dont feel too ashamed. Im ashamed because i did have sex with two of them although it happened over 5 years apart

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If you´re middle eastern. which I guess you are Lebanese or Syrian then I know what you mean. I think telling him will do more harm than good so it´s best to just close that chapter and don´t tell.
PS I didn't know Lebanese christians were so strict until now, but I know how middle eastern men think

IMuser · Answer

1. Don't. This will complicate matters  2. When married, satisfy all sexual cravings through him (or by masturbation, masturbation is something which i guess can be considered as a gray area)

Berethor · Answer

You are technical virgin, only a technical virgin.

slatyb · Answer

Lose the shame and the religion. You are behaving as God created you to behave.

Dargil · Answer

I would have been better to stay with the same guy,

AviatorTom · Answer

If you think there would be a benefit in your relationship to tell your future husband about this, go ahead. Many people would consider that the past is the past, and not be that interested.

TheMajesticKing777 · Answer

If he asks yea

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

Be honest. Everyone has urges.

imjustadude · Answer

Don't feel bad about it. You are forgiven. I'd be open with your future husband and don't be disappointed when he tells you he had sex with a half dozen women while you were trying to stay a technical virgin.

stark04 · Answer

Having sexual desires isn't a sin or crime So just relax. Do things that gives you pleasure has nothing to do with religious beliefs. You're not breaking any laws here, you're doing something that makes you and your partner satisfied and happy. What you do to make yourself happy is your private business, it's not even god's business to interfere.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Honey, I would never judge a girl on these bases, hey things do happen when we date and we are allowed to make mistakes, never allow this to bring you down sweetie (( Hugs) xoxoxo

Rambling010 · Answer

Going to hell. No second chances. Sorry.

Frank_90 · Answer

I can understand you and if you are done doing that your future husband has nothing to do with your past

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Unfortunately you cannot take back what you have done. That's why people need to think before they act. I'm glad you are sorry, though. That is good.

TheFlak38 · Answer

in other words you were never religious. You were just virtue signalling to convince people around what an innocent princess you are while in reality you're just another whore.

Alextry · Answer

Fuck as much as you want and enjoy it, there is nothing wrong with that

Naughtyboy71 · Answer

Shouldn't tell any one that your pass that where you leave it

bamesjond0069 · Answer

This is why you can't mix modern feminism lifestyle with traditional conservative livestyle. How can you both simultaneously expect someone to remain sexually pure yet also wait till they are damn near 30 to get married because of education and career goals? Ridiculous. No reason to not be married by 21 the latest.