Should I dump her because of her slutty past?

Question

I am involved with a woman, i was just interested in sex because I knew she had a slutty past.
But she developed feelings for me and was thinking about marriage and stuff.

Now, i meet this new chic.
Simple, sweet, looks like a virgin, religious.
And I think I'm in love with her. She is all what I'm looking for.
She looks like a great woman to have as a wife and long term monogamous girlfriend.

Now what should I do? My heart says to dump my current girl, but wouldn't I be acting like a selfish asshole?

kingakuto · Accepted Answer

you shouldn't call her a slut first and foremost, her past shouldn't matter as you already knew she was promiscuous and your motivation for going out with her was sexual only and not emotional at all.

to be honest, here I think of you a cunt because you only care about yourself, having sexual history doesn't matter, you only care about how her past affects you, and this new girl what is wrong with yourself and an inconsiderate asshole, you stated that your current girl likes you, your neglecting her feelings and are focusing on yourself, what wrong with you, you lack any sense of what you want and need.

however, in my opinion, after analysing everything you don't seem to have strong feelings for her, and I don't think you should need to feel the need to stay with your current girl just because she has feelings for you because the relationship won't work.

I know above I seem like an ass but I was just analysing what wrong, any relationship that wants is long term, I believe that there needs to be a strong two-way connection and I don't think you feel a strong connection to your current partner, so I personally don't think you should marry her as you don't love her and the other girl is just an excuse.

Marriage is a lifetime commitment so I think you should only do that with someone you generally want to be with.

as the other girl, you seem more attracted to her but I only see as attracted to her image if you plan on going to her go with the thought that it may or may not work to lessen the risk of hurting yourself.

as for your current girl if you plan on leaving her be subtle and gentle about it, just to not hurt her you owe her that much for everything.

CallMeDave · Accepted Answer

You said that your current partner developed feelings for you but didn't say you had strong feelings for her. My opinion is that if you don't have strong feelings for her, you should not feel obligated to stay with her just because she has feelings for you. For a relationship to be successful in the long term, I believe that there needs to be a strong two-way connection and commitment.

If my assumption is correct that you don't really feel a strong attraction to your current partner, then I personally don't think you should marry her whether there's someone new or not. Marriage is a big commitment and sometimes a lot of work so I think you should only do that with someone you really want to be with.

As for the new woman, you sound much more attracted to her. I will caution though that you don't know her all that well yet and there's no guarantee that a relationship with her will work out once you get to know her better and she gets to know you.

But honestly, since you don't really seem all that connected to your current partner, I personally think I'd take the chance on the new one with the understanding that it might not work out.

And I really don't feel like dumping someone you don't have a strong connection to is being an asshole so I wouldn't worry too much about that. If you don't have the feelings, you don't have the feelings, and that's nothing to feel guilty about.

If you had a strong connection to her and dumped her just because some new hot woman came along, I think that would qualify as being an asshole, but breaking off a relationship that you're not really heavily invested in doesn't.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Been with 9 men in 46 years. Guess what. I have never been ghosted and I have always been respected. Sent many a man who thought I was going to be a hook up home with blue balls. My current man likes the fact that he can walk down the street with me and not run into someone I have slept with. No stories floating around about about a threesome. Its called pride and self respect. I'm not going to sleep with someone just because I need an itch scratched. When my man asked my number I didn't have to lie or tell him its none of his business. Its damn well his business as is his past sexual history to me. Promiscuous people should be viewed and treated differently than non promiscuous people just as a person who invested and saved for his retirement should be differently than someone who didn't. An obese person shouldn't be viewed in the same light as a thin person. A former drug addict shouldn't be viewed the same as someone who never done drugs. People do stuff with the live for the moment attitude and when it catches up they cry about it. Like the fat girl not getting invited to the prom. If a woman sleeps around I'm not saying she deserves to be treated like shit but don't be expecting to be treated and viewed like a women who didn't.

pleasestopthis · Accepted Answer

To break up with a woman because of her "slutty past" is very hypocritical. Why can dudes have multiple partners and woman don't?
But apart from that: Did you play games on the current girl to sleep with her or she knew from the beginning you just wanted sex? If so, I don't think you have any obligations with her.

Ms725 · Accepted Answer

It’s more of an asshole thing to do to make her think she has something with you that she clearly doesn’t. Break up with her and be happy with who you really wanna be with. Life is too short to drag people along.

northerngal · Answer

Her past should be irrelevant. But you have to do what feels right for you. Not what others think.

VegetaSSB · Answer

dump the current girlfriend but if she wants it continue to be friends with her, if she doesn´t want it, the better for you.

SarahsSummer · Answer

You should dump the current girl to allow her to be with a real man.

sir_geddes · Answer

Dump your current girlfriend cuz it seems like you don't care about and she's probably better off without you

JimRSmith · Answer

You go with the new one, because you're not in love with the first one.  That's the reason you dump her.

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

Probably not the girl you want then.

If you have been dating her for this long then there’s qualities about her that makes you feel happy with her, that makes you see a future wit her, that makes you feel like you’re your best version of yourself when she’s around.

If the past worries you too much because you’re afraid of her making a mistake and cheating you then that’s something you have to decide right now because it’s not going anywhere.

You have to either trust her or walk away but my opinion is you love her and you’re just scared which is understandable but dig deep down in yourself and find out if she belongs there or not. Good luck bro

Pomegranate139 · Answer

Dump the current girl because you don’t care for her

Bandit74 · Answer

Yeah, if you think you'd be happier with a girl who was less slutty.

Caaarl · Answer

You're already a selfish asshole no matter what you do. Dump her she deserves to be with someone else that's worth a shit.

Jasper7 · Answer

Naw. Your just too immature for her. Just realized ur faults

omgjassy · Answer

You’re strange. Just stay or don’t but don’t slut shame

NYkid27 · Answer

You should dump your girlfriend since you have feelings for another girl

zzzondarrr · Answer

"i was just interested in sex because" ahahah, and u call her a slut? I think the chances are that this new "chic" might dump you if she finds out about u dumping your current girlfriend like u intend to.

gobsmacked3 · Answer

After reading this and your views. I think you are too immature to be in a relationship. Your lack of clarity of life and propensity to be ruled by judgments will always cause conflict in a union

Flower-petal · Answer

You sound like a POS

maestrodematimaticas · Answer

Dump the promiscuous chick. Who gives a shit about the feelings of a woman who throws out pussy? She didn't give a shit about the feelings of her future boyfriend or husband. 1 word: EXPENDABLE.