Should I leave my loving boyfriend for someone else over sex?

[Vanessa94]

Hi! No judgements please-only serious answers! My boyfriend of just over a year, who I love, adores me and despite the title I really love him as well. Before we met, I was having sex with a friend (this was after a previous brutal breakup) and we had an incredible sexual connection that I've never had with any other man. Since I got together with my boyfriend, I stopped having sex with my friend but I still saw him in class and everything. But last month my boyfriend and I had a HORRIBLE argument and stupidly I went over to my friend's and we had sex (didn't plan on sleeping with him). Embarrassed as I am to say this, the sex was mind blowing. I thought about what I did and decided to put it to rest, but later that week we did it again, and we've been fucking since. I now feel absolutely awful about doing this to my boyfriend, but I'm really in a dilemma now. My boyfriend isn't bad in bed (I climax about once or twice with him) but my friend is a complete stallion (I ALWAYS lose count of the number of orgasms). 2 days ago we had our first anniversary and after my boyfriend and I had sex I called my friend, went over to his house and we had sex for hours and the next morning I couldn't help comparing him to my boyfriend and the differences are really getting to me now (physical attraction, sexual connection, penis size, passion...) and I masturbate thinking about him everyday. Awful as this sounds, now when I have sex with my boyfriend I fantasize about my friend's gorgeous enormous cock brining me to climax. I can't keep this up and am seriously considering ending it with my boyfriend. He's a great guy and I can not hurt him so I'll try to make up some reason. My friend already says he wants to be with me and loves me so why not give it a shot, I mean we connect at every level, except on religion:I'm an atheist but he's a non-practising muslim, very liberal. However I don't want to throw away a year with my boyfriend. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

Sooner or later you'll get judgmental and hateful messages here because of your dilemma... however, I can somewhat relate to your situation right now, my ex appeared into in the picture when my current relationship is in the rocks. I enjoyed talking to him, flirting on the phone, sexting and even made out the 2nd and 3rd time we me again. We got a room once and to his excitement he came and we didn't get to fuck lol. However, he made sure to satisfy me by oral sex.. it was an out of this world feeling - which I don't get with my current.

Probably, it may not be the best advise - do not base your relationship just on sex. Make a list of the pros and cons between your men. Whoever gets a high score - wins!

[Vanessa94]

OMG thank you so much sis :) I've decided I'm going to go with my stallion and leave my boyfriend, but I will definitely try to make it a clean breakup without any unnecessary pain on his part

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

@singlebee Bro this is the face of women since forever. Getting rid of the patriarchy just meant they could reveal what an ugly face it really was.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral OMG you actually believe women's empowerment and education make us reveal our "ugly" selves?

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

wow... you actually think you aren't a wretched stain of puss?

[Jenn1991]

I will be brutally honest... but I think you know the answer. Break up with him. Do it quickly. Regrettably you are some what obsessed with your fiend (with some justification maybe) and this will destroy your relationship with your boyfriend anyway. Might as well make it a quick death rather than a slow painful one. Plus if he finds out about your friend it will probably hurt him. Be an upfront woman and call it off.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks for your suggestion. Just the thought of throwing away a year still gets to me though. Any suggestions on how to break it off cleanly without hurting him much. I really don't want to break his heart :(

[Jenn1991]

Hey it gonna hurt him no matter what girl. But you just have to woman up, look him in the eye and tell him its over. After time he will have more respect for you if you do it short and quick and honest (met another guy) then play some kind of stupid game. It will be easier for you as well.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks again :) I'll try to say it face to face soon - still trembling though :(

[Jenn1991]

Think it over... trust your heart and gut. But if you cannot leave your friend either physically or mentally once and for all for your present boyfriend then I think you have your answer what you have to do.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks a lot. I've really thought about my friend and in all honesty our emotional and sexual connections are far too strong for me to let go of him. He wants to be with me and he doesn't know that I even have a boyfriend. In all honesty, I feel worse that I haven't started a real relationship with my friend (even though he wants to be with me) than I do for cheating on my boyfriend. I guess I know what to do, though its is tough. Thanks again for your help :) Also, what if he finds out that I've had a boyfriend for a whole year? That also worries me :(

[Jenn1991]

Be honest with both of them... its the only way.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Why dont you tell her to be honest and admit she cheated on him? Let me guess you did the same thing cheating then lied about it or never admitted it right

[singlebee]

@HonestWhiteGuy she is not telling that because she is just like the asker... Women more a days like to cheat a lot

[singlebee]

@asker - your are not throwing away anything..! Infact you are getting him rid of a disgusting selfish person like you...

[Hidden_P]

You obviously don't care about your boyfriend. If you did you wouldn't have cheated. He deserves to be treated a lot better than that.

Or if you want a softer version, here's a quote from Johnny Depp.

www.quoteslike.com/.../...myquoty-W0HwKg-quote.jpg

[singlebee]

Seriously to me it sounds like a guy in a women's post and posting a fake story... If not then damn I am worried all women are like this now a days... Cheating left and right :-(

[Hidden_P]

@singlebee we don't all keep our legs in different postcodes. Some of us have morals, respect for others, and enjoy having a sex that isn't like throwing a stick into a cave.

[Vanessa94]

I do care about him, but yeah I am breaking up with my boyfriend tomorrow.

[Vanessa94]

@singlebee you are way too insecure. I'm not cheating left and right. infact this is the first time I've cheated at all and I'm not going to hurt my boyfriend by telling him

[Hidden_P]

Not being funny Asker, but being cheated on is one of the worst things you can do to someone. Let me explain. It makes you feel like nothing was good enough - not your conversations, your body, your love, those special moments you had, those meals you had out, those presents that you carefully picked. Imagine all of these moments. And then imagine your other half literally fucking them apart. That's what you've done. You have completely destroyed your boyfriends trust and to be honest it's unlikely he will speak to you again. But I think that's for the best really. He will have a lot of intense emotion, and if you aren't understanding just how damaging cheating rather than talking about the issue before it got to that stage, then you deserve to be cheated on. It's a crushing experience. It can damage a lot of lives. It's great you're breaking up with him though. Too little too late in my book. As you can probably tell, I don't take cheating lightly and you won't get any sympathy.

[singlebee]

What do you mean your last statement? Are you supporting the askers actions?

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

@singlebee At least some good has come out of this skank's 'business' and woke you the fuck up!

[Vanessa94]

I understand and I respect your opinion. I'm not a mean person. I will make up some reason and break up with him. To ensure he doesn't have any lingering insecurities I won't give him the real reason - that would break his heart completely. I can't stand to see him hurt and believe me I get no thrill out of hurting people, especially my boyfriend who despite this all, I love.

[Hidden_P]

And you're not going to tell him for fear of hurting his feelings? Or are you not going to tell him because you don't have the balls to tell him what you did REGULARLY? And @singlebee no I wasn't. My first statement of the last paragraph was flippant.

[Vanessa94]

No at this point I will leave him for my friend definitely. I genuinely don't mean to hurt him, it's not a question of me being a coward. But in truth it would really hurt me as well if I saw him get hurt. None of this is his fault so why should he hear the actual reason which would only cause unnecessary pain. Like I said, I don't get anything out of hurting anyone.

[singlebee]

To she has no balls at all... That's why she if running away.. But I think she is worthless in all ways anyways so making up a reason will at least note hurt him

[Hidden_P]

Look. These sorts of things always get out. And if he is friends with the friend you are leaving him for, all it takes is an awkward night out and let slip that oh I shagged her on this date, and boom your "secret" that you protected him from will hurt him even more. I understand what you're saying, but I still think he deserves the truth.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

she's a coward and has no concept of what she's done wrong. She can't admit it in her small narcissistic brain, she never cared about her supposed boyfriend it was only about her. The good thing is her new relationship will never work.

[Vanessa94]

@HonestWhiteGuy and why won't my new relationship work?

[Hidden_P]

This is the problem with cheating. Once a cheater always a cheater is the phrase...

[singlebee]

@asker- your are a sociopath and a narcissistic... So I am not gonna believe your bullshit... You will from now on continue cheating on everyone... You need a doctor to fix yourself..

[Vanessa94]

Actually I've NEVER cheated before with my past bf's so once a cheater always a cheater is reall not something I stand by. i would never cheat on my friend if (when) we start a relationship (we would lose our connection and love if I did and I absolutely won't throw that away).

[Hidden_P]

Lol right. "But judge, I never murdered anybody before..." just because you started doesn't mean you'll stop. I'm sure you said the same thing about your current boyfriend, whom you love so much and don't want to hurt.

[Vanessa94]

No, in reality I've learnt my lesson: I should have broken up with him when I first cheated rather than dragging it on for a month. I acknowledge that. If I could go back I'd do that. But I stand by my previous point: the connection I have with by friend is simply not worth compromising. It would break my heart completely if my friend and I broke up after starting a relationship. We really love each other and he shows a special interest in me that my boyfriend doesn't. We agree on most political issues, we have the same major, we do homework together, everything - more than just the passion, but that's still a big thing. We're for each other. He'll hopefully drop his religion soon, but I can live with it if he doesn't.

[Hidden_P]

Well I hope that you actually mean that.

[Vanessa94]

I do, thanks for the conversation. It helps get a lot of feelings out. Wish you the best :)

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Muslims almost never drop their religion, you are really more clueless than I thought. Nothing but a cheating loser as I said before, your new relationship won't work I promise you that.

[Vanessa94]

@HonestWhiteGuy He's barely religious like I said (We're both physics majors - he'll drop it alright). But still, I don't really care what he believes personally.

[Hidden_P]

Still think you should tell your soon to be ex the truth. He should know.

[WillowTree]

You already know what to do. Even if you stay with the boyfriend you're going to keep cheating on him until you get caught. Follow your orgasms my friend.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks :) Yeah I'm definitely going to talk to him tomorrow... tough talk :( I'll make up some reason. No way can I ever break it off with my friend: the fact that we come from different cultures or that he's religious pales in comparison to our sexual connection. I guess you can't choose love afterall. Anyway, I will miss my boyfriend and I wish him the best, but I'm already looking forward to starting a proper relationship with my friend :D Any suggestions on how to break up cleanly without hurting him?

[WillowTree]

That I don't know! It's all going to hurt no matter how much you try to soften it. I guess you could own up to your mistakes and say you realize that cutting him loose was better than living a lie? Something to that effect but worded better. I'm really terrible with break up speeches.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

"I'll make up some reason," You're a sick fucking bitch. You boyfriend deserves to know why you don't want him and what you've been doing behind his back. You revolting slag.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral Oh come on. What am I supposed to tell him? That I have better sexual chemistry with another man? That will break his heart and I have no intention of hurting him like that. Despite this all, I actually want him to recover from this and telling him the real reason can only impede that

[singlebee]

@asker - no!! You just have to tell him that... You are just a dick fucking whore that deserves no real love and respect from him and so your are breaking up with him..

[Vanessa94]

@singlebee now you're just being childish. So much hate already? I told you, it's hard to choose love

[singlebee]

@asker - Yes I hate you.. Completely... Because you are like that

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

If you don't tell him what you've done, then you lose the last remaining shred of humanity left to your soul. Lie, and you are a filthy, conniving slag who want men to live in an illusory world where they have no perception of the reality of women, leaving your boyfriend open to more abuse from women. Only a fucking monster would do that, for the sake of their own feelings.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

@SnatchFinderGeneral she's a borderline sociopath from her responses, there's no way she will ever have a happy relationship with this new guy or anyone else and thats a good thing, she doesn't deserve it.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral what do you mean "reality of women"? Are you seriously thinking that telling him the truth will help him?

[singlebee]

@HonestWhiteGuy actually she will cheat on everyone... You are right she is a sociopath... Who gives a fuck? Let her rot in hell .

[Vanessa94]

@singlebee are you seriously trying to scare me with the fear of "hell"?

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

What is with this trying to help him bollocks? When did I say I was trying to help him? Yes.. it will help him see what a slut you are and that he's actually better off without you. DOn;t you fucking understand that you stupid cunt?

[bryon]

First off yes you should leave you boyfriend. You have no concept of loyalty if all it takes is an argument to send you running to someone else regardless if the sex was intended or not you let it happen. I'm all my years of being affiliated with the aspects of relationships I still stand by the concept that sex is between to willing and ready people other than rape. Some how I even question the very notion that there is love for your boyfriend , being peel retry much all the blame for you sleeping with dude has been dumped in the BF's lap

[AustinMan]

How about talking to your boyfriend about coaching him, tactfully, to be more like Mr. Studly.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a10152-how-to-talk-to-your-so-about-sex

[Vanessa94]

thought about that before, and my boyfriend is already good in bed, but as harsh as this sounds, my friend is something else entirely and I'm not sure any amount of "coaching" could bring my boyfriend to that level of passion and stamina. Plus things like physical attraction and penis size and pure raw chemistry can't be coached.

[SwissMade]

Well, I hate to break it to you but sex should not make or break a relationship. But since your cheating on your boyfriend I'll say you don't really love him the way you should be so it would be best to end the relationship instead of you continuing on with your unload actions. Who's wrong in this senario, why you my dear... saying you love someone and engaging in acts that do nothing but hurt when discovered.

[OlderAndWiser]

You have yourself in a position where you will never be satisfied with your current boyfriend and it is unfair to him to stay in a relationship because he deserves someone who really wants to be with him.

When you break up with the current guy and get with your ex, some of the thrill will be gone because it is no longer cheating. The sex may be incredible but you left him previously and there must be a reason why it didn't work the first time around. You will probably encounter the same problems this time around but I suspect that you need to do this to prove to yourself whether it will work the second time.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks for the answer. he's not my ex, he's a friend and the thrills been there when we were having sex even when I was single.

[OlderAndWiser]

When I said "ex," I only meant former sexual partner. You really must break up with the current boyfriend. Under these circumstances, ironically, It is the most loving thing you can do for him.

[Vanessa94]

I see. thanks a lot for the answer :)

[madhatters4]

you should tell your boyfriend you've been cheating on him then break up if you want to.

or you should stop hooking up with this guy... but you still need to tell your boyfriend that you are cheating on him

[KingRoach]

Telling someone that you're cheating on them is one of the most selfish things you could ever do. The only good that could come would be minimizing the feeling of guilt you have.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

@KingRoach Are you fucking serious. What kind of backwards planet are you on you loon.

[KingRoach]

@SnatchFinderGeneral name one benefit of admitting your infidelity.

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach being honest. forthright. respecting someone's right to the truth. giving them the ability to make a decision about their own relationship based on the facts rather than lies cheating on someone and not telling them is essentially lying to them and perpetuating a lie. if you think that that's better than empowering them to make a decision that best benefits them, then i don't know dude

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach trust me as someone who's been cheated on, finding out is hard, but it's also salvation.

[KingRoach]

The saying ignorance is bliss is time honored for a reason. One could be completely happy in a relationship and then their partner confesses to cheating during a recent vacation. You can't unring

[KingRoach]

Unring a bell. What was once a great relationship is now tainted. What really tainted it; the cheating or the admission?

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

@KingRoach My girlfriend would be rid of me and my disgusting behavior, and see me for the filthy cunt I am.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

@KingRoach One benefit by admitting it is you correct the behavior, you realize the damage and hurt its caused. Instead you expect her to lie and continue beating a cheating scumbag. You're a moron.

[KingRoach]

@HonestWhiteGuy so the only way to correct a behavior is to hurt your partner? Yeah who's the idiot? And you're selfish.

[KingRoach]

@HonestWhiteGuy and no. I never suggested continuing to cheat. Read better

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach if you are going to use sayings as a basis for doign things (e. g. ignorance is bliss) then why not use others like "the truth is my salvation" or "the truth will set you free" it's selfish to not tell someone the truth. it serves only avoid a hard conversation. allowing someone to live blind is like living in Plato's cave. they are living a life of illusion

[KingRoach]

@SnatchFinderGeneral so why hurt her? If you know she's going to end it, end it for her. It's the humane thing to do. Instead you want to break her heart, make her question her self worth and do the hard part (the actual breaking up) for you man up and cut the chord. People think they want to know everything but honesty is not always the best policy.

[KingRoach]

Yes. The truth will set you free from the guilt you are feeling and course pain to your significant other. Selfish

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach you think saying... selfish... makes you more right? haha

[KingRoach]

It's not my job to teach you how to be thoughtful. Good luck to you sir.

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach non-sequitor

[KingRoach]

Couldn't let it go, huh? Let's start with the assumption that someone has cheated, is remorseful and feels guilty. The partner is happy in the relationship until they find out that they were cheated. They are then unhappy. They go from happy to unhappy. The cheater admits their infidelity and goes from feeling bad and extremely guilty to just feeling bad. Person one (the one cheated on) is worse off from hearing the info. Person two (the cheater) is better off from telling the info. The relationship is now doomed. You can't un ring a bell. If the cheater kept it to himself there's a good chance based on basic human psychology that their guilt will make them a much more attentive partner. Tell that you cheated = doomed relationship Don't tell = potentially improve the relationship This being election season, I've had my fill of selfish short sided people. I'll never be able to convince you just like I'll never be able to convince others that gay people are born that way

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

@KingRoach If anybody is that concerned about hurting their partner, they wouldn't fucking do it in the first place.

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach you don't have to convince me. i've experienced it. and when i found out I was elated, yes emotionally hurt, but elated I could break up with the cheater and move on with someone who wouldn't violate my trust with their infidelity.

[madhatters4]

@KingRoach the people who don't know are in a doomed relationship and just don't know it. but look to each their own. if you'd rather live in the cave then that's fine dealing with emotions is hard but it's human and i'd rather deal with a sense betrayal and than live a lie

[KingRoach]

@SnatchFinderGeneral this whole thread is based on the assumption that the person feels guilty. Someone that didn't feel guilty wouldn't have the desire to confess. Someone that is continuing to cheat has no desire to confess. Yes, cheating is bad. It's a betrayal of trust.

[1stranger]

Yeah...
Is yours shy? And kind, emphatic?
What personality does he have? How is he like? Face, eyes, height, hair, beard?
How is his heart? His voice, his speech... And why did he choose you in his life?
How did you affect his life? What did you change in his life? Have you made any changes in his life? P. S. Both I fell asleep and the phone is out of charge yesterday because I couldn't say good night to you..

[NJ_Casanova]

I think you should break up with your boyfriend and just date your friend. Cheating on your boyfriend is a shitty thing to do... life's too short to be leading your man on. How would you feel if you found out he was cheating on you behind your back?

[abc3643]

Move on. Sexual chemistry is important when you are young, so, unless your current boyfriend is a stallion in the wallet, move on.

[Billlewis]

Believe it or not, if you gently ask him if he'd consider letting you see this other guy on a casual basis, you might be surprised by his response. Many men secretly love the idea of their wife or girlfriend being intimate with other men, as long as it's strictly a casual relationship. When you're lying in bed with him, try bringing up the subject while you're touching his penis, and if he gets an erection hearing you talk about it, you'll know it turns him on.

[AndyOh]

Dump the boyfriend and go with the friend.
You already have it in your head that you want to be with the friend anyway, so why prolong it.
Thinking of someone else when you are in bed with your boyfriend, masturbating everyday about the friend, and even going over after having sex with your boyfriend all say you want to be with him. And, you really need to be honest and just end it.

[Vanessa94]

Thanks for the answer! :) Will break up with him tomorrow though I know I'll miss the year we spent together :( But at least this emotional rollercoaster will be over and I'll be able to start a proper relationship with my friend.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

Cheating loser.

[Vanessa94]

@HonestWhiteGuy spoken like a "man" with insecurities. Shaming women for sex just shows your own short comings.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

No, shaming you for being a cheater and not having the balls to admit what you did was wrong. Well I think karma will deal with you and your new boyfriend will cheat or break up on you, you dont deserve a happy relationship, ever. Nor do I think you will ever have one.

[Vanessa94]

@HonestWhiteGuy I told you I'm an atheist, I don't believe in that karma. We are all independent people able to make rational decisions and what happens to us in society is a consequence of our decisions. There is no mystical karma that's gonna follow me my whole life. After I've broken up with him, I'm going with my friend. Thats it.

[singlebee]

@asker - just wait and see how you will get fucked by karma and he is right... You don't deserve shit!

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Yeah he's right. Karma is going to fuck you like the scarlett pimpernell.

[HonestWhiteGuy]

OK? How does not believing in Karma change whether its real or not bimbo, use your small brain for a second. If I dont believe in diseases that doesn't mean I'll somehow be immune to getting HIV

[Vanessa94]

@HonestWhiteGuy I always use protection even with my boyfriend thanks. And HIV is real and scientifically observed. Karma isn't! What a bogus analogy.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Stupid is real too, and you are it. It's coming for you bitch. Remember what we said when shit falls apart and you're left in the gutter like the slag that you are.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral why are you so mad at me. I never did anything to you? If my question pisses you off so much why bother replying to it?

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Why would I not reply to you since you pissed me off? That's the last thing I'd do. I want you to know what a fucking downright scabby little slattern you are. That's why I'm replying to you when you've pissed me off. Since you lack the maturity to even tell your boyfriend just what a lowlife piece of shit you are, you shouldn't be having relationships with anyone. You're just a fucking piece of meat to be fucked and tossed aside, like the self important walking vagina that you are.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral "You're just a fucking piece of meat to be fucked and tossed aside, like the self important walking vagina that you are." Oh wow. At least I'll be having a man who doesn't think like you.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Yeahhhh... And at least your boyfriend won't have a girlfriend that thinks the same thing about him, you absolute fucking moron. And you're studying physics!!! You're fucking retarded!!! You don't deserve a job in that field, and you;ll never get it because you're fucking dumb. This is why women don't deserve a fucking education.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral "This is why women don't deserve a fucking education." Well, my new stallion disagrees and isn't insecure or threatened by men studying with me. I have a high GPA and so does he. We do research in condensed matter labs. We'll hopefully get into the field.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Okay, it's because I'm insecure? Really. Is that how you've rationalized this? Your GPA just shows how well you can regurgitate facts. Your conduct, and you failure to comprehend why you don't deserve a fucking education and think it's because I'm insecure shows that you do not have the capacity to think. It's because you're a cunt. Not because I'm insecure. How the fuck you worked that out is just fucking mindblowing.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral Dude, you just said women shouldn't get education. Not that I shouldn't, but that WOMEN shouldn't. Why do smart women threaten or intimidate you or make you uncomfortable? If so, that's your insecurity.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Yeah. Women. Because I hate women. You literally make me hate women. Women are literally a fucking cancer. Why do you think I should give a fuck? I don't, but if that makes you feel better yeah sure. I'm insecure. You're still a filthy slut. And you're still getting an education you don't deserve, and I still think women are retarded whores who deserve nothing but to be fucktoys for men.

[Vanessa94]

@SnatchFinderGeneral "And you're still getting an education you don't deserve". Why don't I deserve it? I worked hard for it through high school, I spend nights working on homework. I do research. Why don't I deserve it? Anyway, despite your spite, I realize I responded rudely to you and that's not how I am, so sorry about that. I just can't see why you hate me so much when I've never done anything to you.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Because you won't tell your boyfriend. So the hate that you are denying him, I will take on, on his behalf. Because that's what women deserve. The hatred that they conveniently avoid by the acts of deception that they commit against men on a daily basis. What your boyfriend doesn't know, I do, and I will forever hold it against women. Don't make the mistake of thinking this is a personal matter. You mean nothing to me whatsoever. Your boyfriend is a man. He is my brother. And you have betrayed him in the worst way possible, and plan to continue to deceive him for the rest of your life. It is no detriment to me whatsoever to hate you, and all women for believing you can behave like this and get away with it.

[Mesonfielde]

I think you are both leading yourself on, leading your boyfriend on, and you're lying to yourself. What exactly are you trying to preserve with your boyfriend? Because this is not a functional relationship, where you yell at each other and start having sex with someone else behind his back. Or do you think it is? No judgement here, I do think morality is relative, but you don't seem particularly interested or invested in your boyfriend.

[0112358]

Break up.

You've trashed the relationship you have. I doubt this other one works out either, but you can't stay where you are.

[Vanessa94]

Why don't you think the other one will work?

[onthelist]

You really have no choice but to leave ur boyfriend.. Considering what uve put him through

[Vanessa94]

I haven't put him through anything. He doesn't know and I don't plan on hurting him by telling him. It would break his self esteem completely if I told him the truth and I really don't want him to suffer at all.

[onthelist]

See, But you HAVE... put him through a lot..(He just doesn't know it)) and i won't tell you what to do but what i will say is ignorance is definitely NOT bliss. You have to tell him one way or another.

[Vanessa94]

Oh come on, it would break his heart if he knew. I'll just make up another reason and I absolutely cannot hurt him - I get no thrill over breaking someone's heart and he doesn't deserve it really.

[singlebee]

@asker - But you do get a thrill out of cheating on someone and being a whore right?

[HonestWhiteGuy]

No you can't tell him because you are too much of a sniveling coward cheater to own up to what you did

[singlebee]

@HonestWhiteGuy she is not just a cheater... She is also a disgusting, selfish, whore who is smiling in her post and had no regrets fire doing so...

[HonestWhiteGuy]

@singlebee Yep I see that too, she's gutter trash in my opinion and karma will catch up to her.

[singlebee]

@HonestWhiteGuy yeaa I hope something really bad happens to her... She deserves it... I never get this angry over posts like these... But today I admit I have lost my shit completly... Girls now a days are a such whores...

[Vanessa94]

@singlebee why do you hope something bad happens to me? I see we don't get along but I don't hope anything bad happens to you. By the way, sorry I insulted you before, but just get mad at men calling women sluts and whores. Wish you the best.

[waterlaz]

It doesn't seem like you love your boyfriend.

[Oram52]

Just break it up, It's all over anyway. Its up to you to decide if you want to tell your boyfriend if you've been cheating or not.

[Oram52]

You called your friend a stallion and he's amazing but why was it so different from your BF? Could you not teach your boyfriend or was it just chemistry.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

HE HAS A BIGGER DICK. THAT'S ALL.

[Oram52]

@SnatchFinderGeneral Seriosuly huh doubt it would've made that much of a difference.

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Or that's just wishful thinking and gullibility from reading all the worthless polls about penis size on this site. Don't fucking trust women to tell the truth. Read through this whole page. This is what reality looks like.

[akadatank44]

Bull fucking shit you didn't plan on having sex. You cheated. Your boyfriend deserves better than you.

[Kuraj]

I would bleach my eyes out, but I think it is too late, my eyes already got cancer from reading this.

[jjmarvin]

You're not real.

[John_Doesnt]

Yes you should, because your boyfriend deserves better than you.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

considered jumping off a cliff? i hear it would enhance your complexion
sloots gon sloot

[AlexMcGlynn]

I would say, tell your boyfriend your cheating on him and that you love someone else and just go to your friend. There is no avoiding hurt here.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Sex... with your boyfriend... dinners with your boyfriend... support from your boyfriend... romantic times with your boyfriend... activities with your boyfriend... Who loves you for who you are, and who YOU love for who he is

VS

A wild sex night

Do you think, it's worth it?

[Vanessa94]

Its not just a wild night. I've known him long before my boyfriend and he's an amazing guy - we have a lot in common other than the sex.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Ah k, but that title though!!! Do you still LOVE your boyfriend? Think carefully.

[Vanessa94]

I really appreciate the lack of judging and I appreciate your reply. I love my boyfriend but the truth is I've been in love with my friend for a long time but I realize now that I've been trying to hide it. My friend and I have differences, like the fact that he's and international student and a muslim (though he's barely religious) and I think those things got in the way of actually getting into a relationship with him, but I've learned to accept those.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

So him being international means that you don't see him that often anymore? And ehm why would his religion get in the way, if he isn't that strict about it? :o

[Vanessa94]

No I do see him. We go to the same college, almost the same classes etc. Oh I was just worried that his religion might get in the way but now that I know him better, I dont think it will really.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

So... What do you think that the relationship is lacking? I mean, a bad argument is a bad argument, but that doesn't mean that you should be cheating. Try to talk it out. Anyway, you might not like what I'm going to say next... But you cheated. Not once, but more behind that poor boyfriend's back. You've got to really think about what you really want here... Your boyfriend doesn't know any of this, and no boyfriend on earth deserves his trust being abused. I think you'd feel horrible too if he'd do it to you... Pick a guy. A) Break up with your boyfriend and go to your friend (Does he want a relationship though? Or just a FWB?) B) Stop cheating and stay with your man. And also... Confess what you've done and hope for the best.

[Vanessa94]

my friend wants to try a relationship with me. He doesn't know I have a boyfriend and I don't plan on telling him that. It's not that the relationship with my boyfriend is lacking, its more that I've had a connection with my friend for a while and I've tried to pretend it wasn't the whole year when I've been with my boyfriend.

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Lol damn that guy doesn't know he's making you cheat. Poor guy o-O Well... I'd break up with the boyfriend. You shouldn't be desiring for someone else, while you already got someone. You know it's not right

[Vanessa94]

You're right. I would hate it if someone did it to me too. Well, time for a tough conversation :(

[Yanoa_Yanza]

I wish you the best of luck!

[Vanessa94]

Thanks! :D I hate what I'm doing to my boyfriend and I know that I'll miss our year together, but in all honesty, I'm also already looking forward to starting a real relationship with my friend :)

[Yanoa_Yanza]

Yeah you could look at it in a positive way. It's better for the both of you at the end :)

[singlebee]

@asker - You can't justify your actions... You know that you are a slut

[Yanoa_Yanza]

@singlebee Lol settle down singlebee We know she's made a mistake. But yeah it happened, and calling her out isn't going to help anyone.