What should a WIDOWER do?

What should a WIDOWER do?

A good friend of mine in his 60s lost his wife several months ago; she died from cancer. They had been married for 40 years.

We were having a drink at the bar, and we started talking about women. He said he has no desire to date again, but he still has sexual needs. He rarely masturbated or watched porn while he was married, and he's not sure he wants to do that. He asked me what I would do in his situation, and hinted that he's thinking of trying a female escort.

What would you recommend?

Watch porn and masturbate
Vote A
Watch camgirls and masturbate
Vote B
Get a male sex toy
Vote C
Have a date with a female escort
Vote D
Visit a brothel
Vote E
Get a hobby to keep himself busy without thinking about sex
Vote F
Something else - please tell us
Vote G
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
Updates:
1 y
Thanks to everyone for their opinions. I told him about these opinions and he told me that he's willing to try to meet women his age, and discovered that his church has a seniors group that is mostly widows; I guess women outnumber men in the group like 4 to 1. Let's wish him luck.
2 0

Superb Opinion

  • Yea if i lost my spouse age 50+, I wouldn’t really be interested in finding another. I’d just flirt my ass off. I’m not into sex toys, so thats not an option. Getting an escort/gigolo/hooker/cam person is just desperately nasty so i wouldn't recommend that either. By that age, I doubt porn is of much use. I don’t even masturbate now so i doubt i would then either. I’d probably still be into phone sex though. I mean he could masturbate but his best bet is likely just keeping distracted with flirting and/or a new hobby. He could do some carpentry

Most Helpful Guys

  • I have some personal experience with this. The answer is: Allow one of your wife‘s friends to “console” you. Wake up horrified. Realize that lots of married/divorced soccer moms your age are up for adventure. Sleep with a couple. Sleep with several college girls. …then a couple more…then a cheerleading coach that you mistook for someone you knew and didn’t realize your mistake until later. Then go wild on Tinder, etc; meeting every girl you can. Snap out of it one day and be horrified. Take a trip to Iceland and sleep with way too many girls. Come back home, meet some 19 year old with daddy issues, and while banging her against the wall in a hotel bathroom suddenly realize that you hate yourself.

    Then, you after being celibate (at least, “technically,” as the kids say) for about a year, wonder what’s next.

    • It sounds stupid, but I never understood how you went about getting laid (not really) until after I lost her—and then it just seemed too easy. I don’t know why.

  • An escort or any kind of money for sex transaction is going to feel hollow. He's had a long marriage and the intimacy he would have had with his wife would be incomparable to sleeping with a prostitute. I think he'd regret it after the deed was done realising that it didn't offer any of the emotional fulfilment that genuine intimacy does. If anything it might only make him realise how much he misses the times he had with his wife.

    I think he'd be better off trying to find hobbies or groups where he can mingle with people of a similar age not with the intention of seeking a relationship but just to continue having a life for his own mental well being and physical health and this could ultimately put him in the path of someone in a similar situation or even just something completely new.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tbh, you don't need to pay for it, when there are lots of women out there that would be glad of the company and also not wanting a serious relationship. So therefore maybe look at dating sites and taking women out that are in a similar situation and not looking for a serious thing.

    You never know, he might find something that he wasn't expecting 😊

    • Thanks for the MHO 😘

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What Girls & Guys Said

7 16
  • Something else is what I voted. That something else should be find a real woman who is lonely and never been married before or a widow herself, date, court, and get married to her. Bring each other joy in life again

  • Perhaps he could use the memories that he made with his wife as a building block for relieving himself?

  • There must be grabagranny type of events he could go to. I suspect there's plenty of older women in search of dick that still works.

    • grabagranny... love it! LOL

  • Get a friends with benefits

  • he could cross into the creepy category if not careful. I'd get feeling good again about himself, maybe singles cruise, singles club, meet some women. There's lots out there still seeking. enjoy life, but he better realize... things have changed in 40 years.

    Just stay away from online porn, readup on sex preditor laws so he doesn't fall into a trap end end up on the sheriff's preditors list.

  • Whatever he wants? He's a grown man with needs and I doubt his wife would want him to neglect himself on her behalf.

    I'd have to personally object to camgirls or hookers (kinda unbecoming) but it goes back to it being HIS decision.

  • I think all those options are good besides the escort that might be too sketchy.

  • If I had a husband, I'd make it very clear to him; If I die, I want him to grieve for one month, and then he best be getting back in the game, and getting back in the saddle. If he doesn't, I'm going to come back and haunt the living shit out of him. I don't want him wasting money on brothels.

  • He should date.

  • how about get a new girlfriend/wife.

  • Join a swingers club. You dont have to be coupled and older peope tend to manage them.

  • Mind your own damn business.

    • My friend asked me for my opinion. I'm seeing what others think so that I can give him meaningful advice. He's going to choose to do what he does on his own. I'm just being a friend and confidant.

  • I’ll play with you 💃

    • I'll let him know.

    • @aviatortom oh ok 🔥

  • Get a male sex toy. 💞

  • He should remarry. My grandfather was widowed after 41 years and basically gave up. He died within a year.

    • Sorry to hear that

  • Probably a combination of many of the suggestions above.

  • Escorts are expensive. Most hobbies are cheaper, and last longer.

  • My suggestion is go through your grieving time. Go to activities where you meet other people. Look into dating opportunities. With people that have similar ideas and views that you have.

  • I definitely would try and hook up with some widowed woman, make them your friends with benefits and fuck when you want

    • Thank you for the Like

  • Allow him his time of mourning then point him in the direction of senior dating sites.

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