Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Which do you prefer: sex or intimacy?
Guardian45 Guru
I recently became single again. It's a difficult adjustment for an neurodivergent introvert like me. So I want to know, according to you, if you could only choose one, what's more important with your partner. Sex? Or Intimacy?
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Updates:
1 y
People who said Sex is more important: can you please elaborate?
1 y
Someone provided a GREAT READ: www.mindbodygreen.com/.../types-of-intimacy-besides-sex
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What Girls & Guys Said
34 43I can get sex anywhere, intimacy is harder to come by, and takes effort to maintain.
That's very true!
Intimacy, anyone can have sex and not feel a deeper connection or love.
True
I think intimacy is more powerful from an emotional standpoint. I love sex and even if it's with someone I'm not in love with I can still feel a bit of intimacy with that person. I feel something with everyone I engage with sexually it's just a lot stronger with someone I'm in love with.
Definitely. Intimacy makes the difference between 'ho-hum' and 'mind-blowing, blackout' sex
There's always some type of intimacy involved with sex.
closeness is vital for me, so I would not want to go without that...
it is not that I prefer one over the other or that I ever had to choose between the two, but intimacy is a priority for me and it is usually the root of both love and sex
if sex were to be my preference or priority over other things, then I would have turned to be a very different man today, lol...
Well-said. Agreed.
Intimacy but sex is part of intimacy in a romantic relationship (assuming you’re both ready to go that far and you’re not holding back for religious reasons until you’re married)
Some relationships have intimacy, but no sex.
True. I like both.
Intimacy , I can’t just have sex with a girl without feeling connection and chemistry, and feeling wanted not used
Exactly!
Intimacy.
Case in point, I had a cute blonde undress to her panties and bra in my house and asked to stay the night. but i had no feelings for her. I put on her jacket, kissed her head and said "you're better than that" and i took her home. She told me that never happened to her before.
I beat myself up over that for a while... but felt i did the right thing
You showed you could control your natural urges and this may have even made her respect for you grow even more. Who knows maybe if you told her you'd gladly try out dating something could have clicked. Attraction doesn't really mean how someone looks. I'd be attracted to someone who treats me nice and shows that she can cook and has motherly instincts.
Fascinating. I once had a similar situation.
Intimacy has sex in it too.
Yes, it can, but it doesn't HAVE to.
True. But there is no point in voting for the lesser option. B is A and more.
Trudat!
How about intimacy that leads to sex... that would be perfect!
That is the ideal, but if you could only have one or other, which would you choose?
@guardian45 I'd choose intimacy... if I had to, I can always pay for sex.
No! no! LOL! You can ONLY have intimacy OR sex! NOT BOTH! LOL! Which do you choose?
@guardian45 I told you... intimacy. is the choice. If I had to have sex, I could always pay for it. That doesn't mean that I necessarily would.
Oh. Okay. Thank you.
There is always porn! In between gfs it has been intimacy that I have most missed. Sex is easy to get but intimacy isn't so easily got.
Yes, surprisingly sex is easier to get than intimacy. I never used to think that.
Completely true sex is easier than intimacy/affection/love. If necessary you can just pay for sex. If you are picking up girls from bars you most likely are anyway.
Sex and intimacy..! . Need of a body vs emotion. I’d choose sex over intimacy. Because If I choose to be intimate I’d not enjoy sex looking for intimacy. If I’m choosing intimacy, and sex goes well then it’s fine and if sex is not great, then it’s all for nothing. End result is that, a body is designed for sex is my understanding. Intimacy is a feeling, an emotion, a connection, a thought, you feel in your mind. Sex is a something that is inbuilt in body. When hormones develop, body craves for sex. When we are so low and not so strong we need an emotional connection to make us feel complete.
So you feel that need can ONLY be fulfilled by sex?
I see you’re curious. My understanding is, sex is a function of our body. Emotion is a function of our brain intellect. Both could be our choices. To fulfil the roles, in the process of life, we are given bodies, and it has an expiry date. Sex is a physical action, which makes two bodies connect with energies that generate in our bodies, and bond with each other. Intimacy is like a trust you’ve to pour water everyday and see it’s working (like agriculture) or building imaginary wall brick by brick which takes massive effort of you, mentally and emotionally. If all goes well it’s well and good. What for, you want intimacy over sex? Like you please ask yourself why you need intimacy over a function of body. The more you let people to manipulate you emotionally and mentally, The more you’re depended on them. The more dependent on them the more you’re hard on yourself looking for that intimacy. If the girl is intimate with you then later she needs a bodily pleasure and sleep with any guy. Your whole intimacy world is destroyed. So physical attention/pleasure is need, is my feeling. Intimacy should be there but I feel it’s not that important. In the end what one want is totally their choice. And One can live with intimacy relationship happily, If they’re so focused on that. For me that’s not the end goal. My suggestion is explore more doors then decide for yourself. It will help you where you want to go.
Hmm. Interesting viewpoint.
How about intimate sex
Can you explain,
Well, if I was told that I could choose ONLY ONE: either sex or intimacy for the rest of my life, then I would choose intimacy with one person and NEVER have sex again. And sex is NOT something I give up lightly!
@Guardian45 You're a good dude!
@Jamie05rhs. Thank you *bows*
You're welcome!
Sex is the highest form of intimacy. They aren't separate things.
And if you could ONLY have ONE, NOT the Other? Would you pick sex or intimacy?
I CAN'T have just ONE or the OTHER. Sexual contact gives intimacy, and regular friendship is not a form of intimacy to me. it's impossible for me to view sexuality as a purely casual or shallow thing.
Ok. Thank you.
Intimacy is more important... unfortunately there are a lot of men, especially on here who are not able to distinguish the difference between sex and intimacy.
That is true, because some men consider intimacy as synonymous with sex. They believe you CANNOT have intimacy without sex and vice versa. I used to believe this too.
Intimacy can just be cuddling or hugging, even kissing. I hate people who think there is no problem with only wanting sex and nothing else.
Being free to be ME comes with intimacy and trust and that makes sex awesome.
I like that answer!
I have an intimate relationship with my asexual girlfriend. Sure, I still need sex, but that's easy to get from literally any guy who offers. Intimacy, however, is harder to come by as it's built on trust and vulnerability. (We're non-monogamous by the way)
If could ONLY pick one: sex or intimacy? Which would you choose?
Did I not just say that I choose to be in an intimate relationship without sex and that intimacy is more important as it's harder to come by? You're not very good at reading between the lines, are you?
@Ninania Your life is not "without sex.". You're getting sex from other sources.
I still prioritise a serious relationship without sex.
I'm sorry you misunderstood me. I know that you're non-monogamous, and that you have an intimate relationship with your asexual girlfriend, but then you CANNOT get sex from anywhere else. Only intimacy OR sex; one or the other.
Need I spell it out? Sex without a meaningful connection is not a necessary part of my life. I prioritise intimacy with my SERIOUS partner above sex. If I could never have intimacy, sex wouldn't interest me either.
Okay. Thank you.
Sex and intimacy should not be separated. Sex should always be intimate.
So you believe in BOTH then
I do. Very strongly
Intimacy is more important. Without intimacy I would feel uncomfortable having we not being my natural self during sex which would make for good sex.
Sex without Intimacy is somewhat hollow IMHO
Absolutely
Intimacy because I hate sexual intercourse 🤷🏻♂️
May I ask why? Are you asexual?
Voluntarily celibate. My ex had baby fever and constantly wanted sex. I was a teenager at the time and cringed every time we tried to get me inside her. Doesn’t feel good trying to get it in. So I decided it’s because I hate sexually intercourse. 🤷🏻♂️
Are you questioning your sexuality?
Ha! No.
Intimacy. I did the sex for the sake of sex when I was under 21 and I found it empty.
I was similar, but quickly wanted tge intimacy.