Sexual Relationships
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Why am I made to feel bad about being a virgin?

So I'm a 21 year old virgin and it's not because of religious reasons or anything of that nature but just because I haven't met the right guy (I know it sounds cliché but it's the honest truth) Anyway, I had no idea being a virgin was such a big deal. Everytime people find out, they look at me like I'm an alien and begin to judge and interrogate me. They begin to ask me why I'm a virgin and am I scared and sometimes laugh. I've met really cool guys that I really like but the minute they find out, they run as far away as possible or never wanna speak to me again. I've started to question myself that maybe I'm a weirdo and I'm probably the only virgin my age. I avoid relationships because I know most guys wouldn't want to deal me.
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Most Helpful Guys

  • I think girls who 'make fun' of other virgin girls are just spiteful. If you were to have sex, those same girls would make fun of you for being a slut the very next day.

    as for guys, well... we want sex. There's no other way to say it. Sexual frustrating is incredibly frustrating to men. And dating a virgin is exactly how to avoid having sex, so it is assumed. If you're single, there's always the chance of flings. If you are dating someone and the relationship has become sexual, then there's always that. But these are pretty much the only two ways of having sex. Dating a virgin is neither of these. I mean, there's always the chance that whatever stars she is waiting for alignment align themselves and she finds me to be absolutely perfect for her, so we start having sex within a couple of weeks, but that's not likely and certainly not dependable.

    In so many words, I think guys assume dating a virgin involves a whole lengthy process before sleeping with them, which has nothing to do with liking them so much as putting them at ease with the idea. This is nice, but there are plenty of girls out there that are also likeable and already at ease with the idea. A girl who wants to wait for sex clearly isn't as interested in sex as she is in whatever her reasons are for waiting. But we want a girl who is interested in sex.

  • You are not weird or the only one (just look on this site, all kinds of posts from "still virgins" over 20. When you say "when people find out" do you just mean guys you're seeing? It's nobody else's business so if you're telling others, don't. As far as guys "running" when they find out, it won't be because you're a virgin, it will be that they think because you're a virgin, that you aren't willing to have sex likely (and maybe that's all they're after? Especially if they're running). A guy that truly likes you is not going to care that you're a virgin, in fact the opposite.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Don't worry about what other people say. Like you say, you should save your first time for someone you really like and will treat you right knowing it's your first time. I lost mine at the age of 17 but that's because my ex and I were happy with each other at the time, and we were together for 4 years. I have plenty of friends you are still virgins, and while I'll be curious how their first time goes (haha) I'd never judge them or you because you haven't done it yet. It doesn't make you a different person. You don't want to lose it just because everyone around you isn't one, and you definitely wouldn't want to have a crappy first experience. So keep on living life. Be glad you don't have that first time bad memory.

  • It's definitely nothing to be ashamed of. I wish I had waited longer because my first time was horrible. The guy was a complete jerk whose goal was to sleep with me and then dump me like a trash can. Both my friend and her boyfriend were actually both virgins when they met each other and now they're married and have the best marriage ever, I actually envious. Don't give up on finding the right guy because you will sweetie😊 ignore the stupid STD infested guys and girls that mock you

  • I always tell people to cherish your waiting period, not everyone has a choice in how they lose it. It infuriates me that people get shames for being smart. Hooking up leads to many risks; std's pregnancy and even heartbreak... save yourself some hurt and find the right person. It will be worth it and you'll be glad you waited

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 14

  • Why does you being a virgin keep coming up in conversation? You shouldn't feel compelled to answer anyone's question about your sexual past.

  • You're not a weirdo they're jealous. Don't get me wrong I love sex! I don't regret having sex but I remember how it was back then and it was great. Be proud of being a virgin

  • >> I had no idea being a virgin was such a big deal.

    It's not, but it's still something you shouldn't advertise because people abuse you with whatever seems to make you feel uncomfortable.

  • They were never cool or mature to begin with if it was that big of a problem for them.

  • I'm 19 and I'm a virgin so don't fret. It's not a huge deal, so don't let it affect you. You seem like a great girl and you just need to meet the right guy. Also, don't avoid relationships because of that. I would definitely date a girl even if she was a virgin, because I am too and it would be nice for us to be each other's first time.

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