Why are lots of people awkward talking about what kinda sex stuff they like?

[PinkPrincess8]

[OpenClose]

I'm pretty much never awkward on my own behalf when talking about sex stuff.

But like, picture yourself as a guy, and then talking to girls, (who are already super skeptical of male sexuality) about what kinky stuff you like. I can be pretty sure that it bothers her WAY more than it bothers me, so I try to be tactful. Like TBH, I'm basically a damned monk unless she takes the conversation that way.

But hell, on one unofficial first date I went on, we jumped straight into topics like prehistoric sex parties, bonobo sexual politics, whether female sexuality was built to basically sleep with multiple men in a single night, and all that. To the effect of getting some weird looks at the restaurant. I have no problem jumping right down that rabbit hole if she's interested in talking about it.

But I also dated a girl who tried to talk to me about what kinks I'm into and such. I didn't have much to say since I don't have much experience in that particular department. But regardless, she called me a "typical sex-obsessed manwhore" anyway.
So like, I'm a guy. If we agree, great. If we disagree, I'm now a villain.

[ChrisMaster69]

A lot is down to people being judgmental over certain things.

i personally believe religion plays a part or when overly religious, I know that can very much be the case in the UK.

Also ‘one persons kink, is another persons perversion’.

Then also it’s actual factually correct knowledge, for example on here a fairly large number of people do not understand some of even the basic stuff.

This can make factual open discussions about things harder, as a lot of people view porn as real life.

Then there are topics that are fairly off limits not only for their adult nature but because they are not looked on as part of the social norm.

then throw in different ages, under 18, under 16, different levels of overall knowledge,

it becomes a mess basically.

moral obligations, social judgement, lack of knowledge, lack of factual information.

[SecretsofKB]

Anonymity here provides a shroud that people can ask things they normally wouldn't.

And like @prettypriya mentioned, probably has a lot to do with your age. Just be careful who you talk to and what you talk about.

[CherryK]

I was having a convo to my partner about it. What we found attractive and mine stems from childhood trauma but he's just like yeah i like curvy hippies.

[PrettyPriya]

To you specifically? May have something to do with you age. Just sayin.

[Siren777]

They weren't raised to be comfortable with their sexuality. Conservative upbringing?

[Aerissa_Jade]

You should try it sometime, state what you really want to someone who thinks WTF and the look they get and now they want nothing to do with you. Makes you want to be more careful in the future.

[katiesmuff]

Because so many are brought up thinking sex in dirty and very private topic.

[weysally]

a lot of people are afraid to talk anyway

[ohshee]

Maybe because it's new to them it's just like role-playing with somebody they say they don't like it because they don't know how to do it and like I always say you have to experience something before you can understand it that's why I don't understand when you have the internet right there at your fingertips why don't you try to experience something before you actually go out and try it I personally have no problem talking about sex as a matter of fact I probably get into it more than a lot of people because I can feel the energy from it and that is so very hot beautiful and sexy

[IMuser]

Rejection.
Majority of the "kinks" can be a little too daunting for most of the people and can weird them out (or consider you as weird)

To avoid that rejection, they suppress it.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Because some people are very sick in the head and as much as we know it, we'd rather only talk about it with the incredibly small group of people who understand that just because you're into some weird shit, doesn't mean that you carry all the other stereotypes that go with it.

Maybe your generation is different. There's like 3 transgenders in his highschool, and apparently there's this thing now where girls dress up and act like cats when they're in public. So I can understand not understanding why people would hide these things, shame is an element of being human you guys have just obviously done away with.

Is it for the better? No clue. Just good luck with it and maybe try to remember this stuff and have a little empathy the next time someone's sharing a truth with you that you could potentially use to ruin them in the future.

[AndyOh]

It's a little embarrass, and some of the sex stuff borders on the kinky to kink-Oh! So I keep that to myself, until the time is right to talk about why I like...

[Sasha_Gee]

The internet seems to be the best place to let it all out 🤔

[pixie215]

the fear of being judged

[wankiam]

who knows but there are certainly a lot of people that have hang ups when it comes to sexuality

[Wise4myage]

You would think people would be more open about it on the internet.

[wankiam]

@Wise4myage im sure most of them are already... i mean the stuff talked about on here for example rarely gets discussed with say, workmates or family

[Wise4myage]

lol. Yep.

[bjandreassen]

I'd say it's due to their own insecurities, not being comfortable with their own sexuality (what they are into, like etc) and thinking that it's taboo to talk about or be honest about.

[mstbooblover]

That's really a good question. I'm also still wondering, but the answer is rather complex. Short version: there's the taboos, education, religious obscurantism, ignorance on every side, idiotic traditions, etc. I genuinely believe that getting to be able to talk openly and honestly about such topics would make the world a better place to live in.

[TheMajesticKing777]

Cause not everyone feels comfortable being so open about sex

[Dargil]

They don't want to admit to them. Sometimes our appetites label us or draw shaming. There are some things I hold back.

[bowenw]

They're worried their partner will think they are weird and leave them.

[Kabluie]

Inexperience is the top reason.

[IveGotNoName]

It all boils down to how you were raised.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Because it's just something adults talk about with other adults.

Why did you post "spank my ass" to me despite that being awkward and inapropriate considering the age difference?

[ANDYB88]

I get awkward sometimes because I don’t want to come across as sleazy or offensive. Also, because I don’t want to talk about sex and get an erection in front of people who aren’t my girlfriend etc Let people be who they are I say. Nothing wrong with being candid if that’s your thing. Nothing wrong with being private if that’s your thing.

[RebeccaBI2000]

It can depend on how they were raised, religion or even bad experiences. Those are just a few reasons why

[Recurrence]

I’m a virgin

[AndrésC64]

Because despite sex being everywhere in our society from TV shows to movies to advertisements, we still have our puritanical roots and hang ups. I think it's slowly going away.

[Iron_Man]

shyness

[convo_king89]

Your right they shouldn’t shame on them, so what do you like

[Yourfriend2021]

I'm not, lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Maybe because they just freaking had puberty like a few years ago? 🤷

[Staximus]

I don't know dude. They are prudes. People usually only talk about that with the person they are having sex with.

[Northernlights25]

That depends on who you're talking to doesn't it?

[Wise4myage]

Its not easy for lots of people.

[Dchrls78104]

Some things are best kept close to the chest, to prevent undue personal and professional exposure. I'm a grown man; why would I even want to be around a 15 year old girl too long, let alone talk near her about turns me on sexually? On what planet would anyone call that constructive, dignified, or respectful? Doesn't this carry legal implications in many countries?

[Juxtapose]

Well with you you are a child so that would be incredibly awkward and inappropriate.

With other adults I am as open about it as they are.

[Godsvengeance]

There is a stigma attached to sex so people often feel like it shouldn't be discussed, either generally or even with the person they are having sex with. I'm curious if you feel the same awkwardness or not

[Alextry]

Never understood that. I'm always open to talk about anything and anyone. If you want to have a chat with me id be more than happy to have it

[brittany155]

i personally don't get why people are uptight about talking about sex or personal stuff

[Twalli]

Because it's considered taboo

[Nigjt]

That's to me sounds like they are not with the wright one yet.
God Bless

[FireFox001]

I don't know. Maybe shame. I am not - with a partner, it's important to be clear about what you'd want from them.

[whosnumber1]

I'm not

[Nazgol]

They're probably just shy

[anton_dee]

Sex is always a taboo talk. If it gets dirty, its even m9re awkward 😁

[In_Trance]

because most people have no idea what they actually like

[OddBeMe]

Centuries of society being puritanical about it.

[nawtee_me]

That is a good question, what do you like?

[driven159]

Its there up bring you can ask me anything

[RoseJ123]

Maybe they are just uncomfortable revealing those elements of their personal lives.

[Z1pTD]

Bc they aren’t used to talking about it.

[Meihua]

Because of shyness

[Wise4myage]

You would think people would be more open about it on the internet.

[Rohaan2020]

maybe they're worried about being judged

[JohnQue74]

We don't want to be judged. Good lord if I told Anyone! what kind of porn I look at! there would be hell to pay. Just admitting I like anal sex is so controversial. Just imagine if I, or anyone, truly discussed their sexual preferences, I can just see the looks. Let's do an experiment, let's open a discussion here about what kind of sex stuff you like?

[Amur8711]

Maybe because they find it awkward because your 15.

[QuietRunner]

some things people are embarrassed about

sometimes they don't want to be rejected after talking about it

[Zlantur2]

They want to ask all innocent and decent.

[clemdenim]

fear of being judged

[urpapi69]

I don't know! I love talking about it.

[Anonymous]

Because people judge them for it. It’s that simple.

[Anonymous]

Girl I dated had a rape fetish (not real rape). I can imagine men would judge or reject her because the workout is tiring when pretending to hold her down