Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Why is being desperate so unattractive?
Anonymous
I know it is, just don't know exactly why. Wouldn't you want someone who is going to be devoted to you and stuff?
Updates:
+1 y
thanks for all your comments. I got a much greater response than I had imagined
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What Girls & Guys Said
26 33It makes any think they're clingy and needy and can't cope without me x
There is a difference between desperate and devoted. To me when some is desperate it means they would do ANYTHING. Many people who are desperate aren't looking for a serious relationship more for ANY relationship and that's why they usually don't work. Devoted is when someone doesn't cheat and stays true and you don't need to be desperate to do that.
what I say is that a desperate person is unatractive because you not having to do much but ask them out is like they are obsessed and will change into a control freak or over jelous person. also if someone is desperate some times mean they done something that made others not want them. also some people that are desperate means they just date anyone just to have a relationship because they don't wanna be alone so they find someone to be with for the time being so they would go for anyone ( I should know my freind was 1 and I watched everything he did its sad)
What did he do? lol
This, in my opinion, is the most thought out answer on here. I say it should have best answer. While not everyone will be turned off just because someone seems desperate..... I think you really have down what the reasons could be if someone is turned off by it. Great answer!
Ok, just read the chosen best answer - this may be tied lol - I just really like that this answer is more compact and to the point quickly. :) lol
Devoted and desperate are 2 different things. Desperate means being needy and clingy, not cool. Someone who is confident in themselves and devotes themselves to someone is much better.
in a way my thoughts exactly, but at the same time how long will their devotion derived from desperation last? how fickle is that?
Desperation means two things:
1. That you've compromised who your wants in a relationship in order to find one therefore making the person you like replaceable
2. That you don't consider yourself worthy of a relationship and thus must compromise your needs in the afore mentioned manner
If you sacrifice your self to someone you lose your humanity ... This is dangerous because you can be easily controlled, it leads to cult personalities...WACO TEXAS anyone? A good example of brain washing : "why is it so unattractive to be desperate" .........
How desperate are you talking like cutting your hair and mailing it to people or just having low standards
Sometimes its a bit too over the top for my liking. Everyone deserves some space.
To me desperate isn't bad but desperate and unattractive is bad. I like a girl that is devoted,caring and loving.
I agree with the thumbs down. What does it say about you to want a woman who is desperate? Do you really want someone groveling at your feet?
Hell ya I do! What man doesn't? Is that a real question? Are you serious? And I didn't say I want a desperate woman,i said isn't bad if she's hot. Is that a real question?
For me, when a guy is desperate and then they try to talk to me, they wouldn't even know me and they'd ask me to date them, and that I'm amazing, and wonderful and blah blah blah. and I'm not like yay I'm wonderful! cause they don't mean it, they just want a girlfriend. so its annoying how they don't even know me and want to date me and do stuff with me. and I would want someone is going to be devoted to me and care for me and stuff, just not the fake kind. Its very irritating when guys do that and just go on and on when they don't know a single thing about me and tell me they love me and stuff.
if a girl was desperate for me I would know she loves and wants me...and I would love it...its very attractive
holy mother its mostly because being desperate is something so sour that people automatically refuse this kind of behavior. they just couldn't care less. About the feeling that is.
Desperation in a guy would make me think "ANYONE WILL DO" or HE'S NEEDY, there is a big difference between chasing ,being attentive and desperate.
I don't believe being "desperate" is unattractive. It depends how you go along it. If a girl was "desperate" to want me, and I liked her, then I would snatch her up in a heartbeat. I would cherish her and love her. But if someone doesn't like you or vice versa, desperation won't work.
I agree with that anoymous user, and I do feel that girls expect more from us guys than we expect from them:Girls do seem to have the advantage, well mainly the hot, cute and pretty ones for the most part. Us guys, no matter how good-looking or handsome we are, we have to be sucessful, and not just money-wise, it is true that girls are attracted to money, but that's not the whole story. They are attracted to guys who are passionate about their lives and have fire and drive. Some of these guys have money, but some don't. An example, we've all seen garage-band-rock guitarists who get laid easily, eventhough they never play anywhere but in local bars. Their passion for something in their lives makes both these kind of guys, the guys with money and the guitarists, more attractive to girls. Along with passion, girls are attracted to guys who have deep social connections. In essense, girls are attracted to guys who have high social status, which means he has plenty of friends(both guys and girls), is frequently participating or is involved social activities, and is involved in several different social circles. Seriously, in most ways, a girl just has to be hot, cute, good-looking in order to be girlfriend material or lay material to guys, that's all, she can have no life, have a boring personality, not value herself, but of course that does not mean girls always have it easier, ask about 10 or 20 percent of girls who are not super hot. Also, I'm sure you have noticed a guy who was odd or weird in someway, and is someway a chick magnet? You probably have. It may be someone who is tattooed all over, with green hair, and multiple piercings. It may be someone you know who is very tough-looking, decked out with black-hair and a leather jacket.(most likely because the girls feel more safe around them) It may be someone with some other eccentricities. You notice that these guys seem to have made their eccentricities work for them. They are comfortable with themselves(yeah, it's very hard to fake being comfortable with ourselves, girls can easily sense when we are not confident or comfortable with ourselves from miles away, they just have to attract guys with their looks and body, that's all), tatoos, piercings, green hair, odd tastes, and all, they have no difficulty getting girls. A guy who is weird in some way, but is comfortable with it, is an inspiration for girls. A girl see's that he is unashamed of his passions, and see's himself as a person who is willing to express himself fully. These are arousing qualities to girls, who find suck guys "cute" or "artistic". They trust such guys because those guys trust themselves. A guy who isn't comfortable with his eccentricities, on the other hand, is frightening to girls.
SO TRUE. ALL OF IT.
But I still think you girls have it easier
Lmao - seriously? Any girl that is with a guy because he has money or because some dude is a guitarist is a little tramp b*tch w-no f*ckin brain or morals.Hence the reason she'd sleep with the guy just because he's a guitarist. & any guy who considers a girl relationship material just because she's "hot" is a low life loser that will end up cheating on her with another "hot" girl because he doesn't care about WHO she is. The people you're talkin about are pathetic & deserve 2b miserable. I'm so glad that's not me!!
Girls have it so much easier
Ask yourself how you'd react towards a guy who seems desperate.
I'm desperate guy.. Where can I find a girl who's desperate? LOl
Don't be desperate, let a woman try to earn you, after you give her a little bit of a challenge
Yeah I'm desperate. I'm screwed. lol And I would love someone devoted to me.
Because they would f*** anyone and you're not at all unique or special?
Desperation and devotion are two different things. If someone senses too much neediness or insecurity the other person feels like they are living only for someone else and not for themselves as well.
No one wants a guy/girl who will drop their underwear in a tick for someone who only wants one thing, or a person who rings up constantly every five minutes and wants to know what you are doing where you are going etc ete.
Devotion: When someone brings you gifts, takes you away or out for a meal, suprises you with things, looks after you when you are ill, sticks by you through thick and thin.
Desperation: When a person lets you walk all over them and doesn't even notice that you are there, or when a person will go to any lengths (usually degrading) to make that person notice them.