Why do men often say they want a freak in the sheets but don’t want their partner to be a freak in the sheets?

I always hear of all these men saying they love a woman that’s nasty and a freak but they would not marry a woman like that, and my question is why? If she’s loyal to you and making you happy and satisfying you sexually what’s the matter?
1 7

Superb Opinion

  • Let's start with separating two very distinct groups of men: men who WANT a serious relationship/marriage and men who are looking for just casual sex. This is important, because these two sets of men have VERY different opinions and desires, and you can't attribute a saying to all of them just because they're all men.

    Men who are just looking for casual sex don't care about a woman's background, or values, or anything else. The only things that are important is that she's sexually attractive to him and she's willing to give him casual sex with a minimum of hassle. Most of these men don't care how promiscuous she is, and they often don't care of she has kids or is even in a relationship. She's just there to give him sex when he wants it.

    Then you have men that want a serious relationship. THESE are the men who want chaste women with low (or no) body counts. Yes, of course they still want her to be enthusiastic about having sex with HIM, but they don't want their woman out trying to get the sexual attention of other men, either in person or online. There's really nothing complicated about this - these men are willing to make HUGE commitments and take large risks to be in these relationships, and so they expect their woman to be loyal and not to embarrass them or ruin their reputation. Men who actually invest in their relationships as a rule do NOT want their woman to be available to other men, not even "virtually" (online nudes or sexting, etc.).

    I think the main reason women find this confusing is because most women refuse to acknowledge that there are two very distinct groups of men - those who want serious relationships and those who don't - because this would force them to admit that the men they are most attracted to, and are most likely to give everything to, are the men who have no interest in a serious relationship. Women don't want to disqualify such men from a relationship, because such men tend to be among the most attractive men around (which is why such men can easily get tons of girls and sleep around, and so have nothing to motivate them to commit to any woman). Women constantly make choices that work against their own best interests, because they follow their emotions without ANY tempering of logic or reason, usually to their own doom. It's why women chase badboys, and why some women will even marry serial killers in prison for life.

    You CANNOT turn a "bad boy" into a relationship man. Billions of women have tried, and it's never, ever worked. If you believe otherwise, it's because that guy is really good at cheating and keeping it from you.

Most Helpful Guy

  • There's sexual attraction, and then there's relationship attraction. If I were to have a ONS with a stripper or porn star, I for sure would be having an amazing sexual experience, but I KNOW that this type of woman is bad for a long term relationship. Most guys are like that. The fact that woman is a freak in the sheets when you meet her, tells us that she's really experienced. And in terms of relationship attraction and marriage, that's a MASSIVE no go. In fact, I'll explain why:

    1) Men and Women are both biologically hardwired to be attracted and disgusted by certain things. It just so happens that one of the things we guys are instinctively disgusted by are promiscuous women as our girlfriend and/or wife. That's just our nature, just like how it's in a woman's nature to look for a man who can provide and protect. Now when it comes to just sex, they won't care, but a committed relationship is a whole different ballpark.

    2) Stats show that the higher a woman's body count, the more likely she will initiate breakups and divorces. AND it's more likely she will have mental problems down the long run. You lose your ability to pair bond with every new sexual partner you have, and that's what helps relationships work through tough times... or in general.

    3) When you (a woman) are in a relationship with a man, you are becoming a representation of that man, whether you know it or not. That means that what you say or do is gonna affect him to. So therefore, if you're a hoe, or you say or do some crazy and stupid stuff, not only are you putting yourself in a bad light, but you're putting your boyfriend/husband in a bad light. Because everyone is gonna be like, "This crazy girl is his?" or "This hoe is who he is taking seriously?" That is embarrassing for any man, even if he won't admit it to others or himself.

    4) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON. There is a reason why since the dawn of time, men have demanded that the women they take seriously are virgins. Not all guys nowadays want virgins now, but still want lower body counts from the woman they take seriously. And the reason why is because they want to ensure paternity. I assume I would be correct if I were to say that a deep dark fear for a lot of women is being r@ped in a dark alley by some creep. That deep feeling of fear that you get, the male equivalent to that, is when he busts his ass, investing his blood, sweat, and tears into raising a child, and then finding out one day that the kid was never his. That's why guys have an issue with taking promiscuous women seriously. Because if you take a promiscuous woman seriously, and she gets pregnant, there's a good chance that child may not be yours.

    • “Pair bonding” isn’t a phenomenon found in humans. Women are not ducklings

    • @CrabCakes11 Check again. Pair bonding applies to humans too. Go ahead and google it. Plus, we are part of the animal kingdom as well so we're not excused.

    • Link a scientific article that says pair bonding exists

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • They want a freak only in the sheets, not a freak in the streets. 😜

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!

What Girls & Guys Said

0 27
  • Fuck what ya heard, I couldn’t settle down with anyone who wasn’t a freak, lmao

  • Because we can "show you" (someof) how we are once we get "comfortable with you" and start to know the bits and pieces, but once we get married, is a different story... other things start to "emerge" in life and we Don't have time for "all that", but when we do... or be in the mood, then that will come to "you" as out of the blue, and will make you "question us" if is more to it, so instead of Freaking you out we rather quiet down... and the "rest of the stuff" that we haven't done we just "fantasize" about it!

  • I think there is a semantic debate buried in this topic. I think most guys want a girl who is sexually adventurous with them but many men get caught up on the fact that she had to have gotten that experience somewhere and it gets in their head. When they say they wouldn’t marry a girl like that I think that’s a clumsy way of saying they don’t a woman who was overly promiscuous, by whatever standard that is to them.


    There are plenty of sluts in the world and many men love doing slutty stuff to them but don’t want to marry that girl. Yet, if they are with a girl who they like and is the kind of caring, sweet, and loyal and by surprise she turns out to be sexually adventurous then I think they don’t mind.


    In other words, they want to meet the “good girl” in her before discovering (by surprise) the wild girl. If they meet the wild girl first, I think a lot of guys categorize her as that and she’s stuck in that place. It’s kind of like the sexual reverse scenario of when girls stick some poor slob in the friend-zone.

  • Some ideas are fantasy, but in reality, not so much. Examples:

    Why do men often say they want a freak in the sheets but don’t want their partner to be a freak in the sheets?Why do men often say they want a freak in the sheets but don’t want their partner to be a freak in the sheets?Why do men often say they want a freak in the sheets but don’t want their partner to be a freak in the sheets?
  • I have a fair track record with dating girls with kinks etc, so it’s not an issue. I do find it strange how people what very specific standards n expectations.

  • That doesn't seem like a very high self esteem thing to do

  • I've never heard that. I've heard we want them. I've never heard that we wouldn't marry them.

  • There is something wrong with those guys then ’ if they don’t want a girl like that? , as long as she stays loyal and faithful to me and keeps me satisfied in the bedroom and treats me with a loving caring heart , I will keep her by my side as much as I possibly could. If she is opposite of that , than I wouldn’t give her my heart , I might fuck her but I wouldn’t commit to her

  • are you a lady in the streets?

  • I'm sure you are familiar with the term "Double standard" ? That's what we are talking about. I want a freak in the sheets, and had one for a long time and was TOO DAMNED stupid not to marry her. When she dumped me, she was a freak with other men and the morons treated her like a whore... Shows you how stupid men are ?

    Many men are just too stupid to realize what they have... You can't have a cake and eat it too... I think my girlfriend just did not realize the ignorance of other men when it comes to sexual preferences and sex practices. Our sex practices, and actions were somewhat different that most women I dated... she was kinky and I liked that, and was too stupid to realize how lucky I was at the time

    • I’m sorry for your loss lol

    • @citygirlxox And I do consider it a loss, and I think she lost too, as she never found real happiness in a relationship.

  • My woman can be a freak in the sheets anytime

  • Some people enjoy one night stands with glizzy goblers and know they had many bodies on them. Compared to a no nice women whose an angel or don't have many bodies on her

  • We do want a freak in the sheets. We just don't want the freak to be freaky with every cute guy she sets eyes on. I wouldn't marry a 304, but a girl that wants to do everything with me and has only made honest mistakes in the past (with the intention of their relationships being long term).

  • I think a little freaky is good for a marriage

    • Why only alittle?

  • Personally I prefer a freak in the sheets and it doesn't not mean I wouldn't marry her. Perhaps some guys may worry a freak in the sheets has a sexual appetite they can't satisfy.

  • What I expect:
    Both me and her are virgins until I marry her, then she's a freakin the sheets.

    If you tell a guy how you are in bed, then you're not a virgin, which means some other guy's dong was in there at one point, and thats gross af 🤢

  • I want both, tender lover and aggressive nympo depending on mood. The freak thing would probably get old unless both keep pushing boundaries

  • It's not that, it's body count. Men don't want a woman who's been run through by a bunch of guys.
    They immediately connect that to, "she won't be loyal, she'll cheat on me, or leave" is how most guys see it.

  • Some girls are wifey material, most are recreational use only.

  • It's a degenerate fantasy to get all the sex you want but they simultaneously want their virgin wife meanwhile they are deluded into thinking they're the equivalent male

  • Show More (7)