I can only speak from my own perspective and personal experiences. You seem to be making two assumptions. The first is that some women somehow think performing oral sex on a guy is an obligation (it isn't, some of us actually like doing it). Secondly, you sort of imply that reciprocity is essential or that sex is unfulfilling unless both perform equally (one blow job calls for one going down on the girl).
For me, sometimes giving a guy oral sex on a first date (like on a one-night bar hookup where I don't know the guy) is a preemptive move. When the flirting and smack talking turns to French kissing and boob and butt groping, I know the guy is revved (whether I am or not). But I don't know the guy or how aggressive or weird it might get, but I know getting him to come is going to settle him down somewhat. Hand jobs are hard to do right on a guy. They're a lot of work and take a lot of time. At least for me anyway, I like giving blow jobs, I'm good at it, and if the guy is really revved I can usually get him to spill the baby batter in 5-10 minutes. After he loses it things get calmer.
Just because the guy got really into me doesn't mean I'm really into him. I'm not really up for getting undressed from the waist down or raising my skirt and losing my panties so a guy can go down on me. Consider also the surroundings. I can unzip a guy's fly, get it out, and finish the act pretty sneakily in places like a park after dark. I have to get at least half naked to receive.
I often look at it this way. We got our motors running, for which I'm partly responsible. I brought him to climax (orally). He got off, but that doesn't mean I have to. It's a one-nighter and we aren't going to see each other again. It's been fun, so all the best in the future. Bye.
0 0 0 0I'm going to give you a thumbs up for a very mature take on a situation that is all too common. I'm glad you brought it up. You're right. There is an imbalance that young girls aren't aware of.
At first I did it just for practice but then it became a power thing once I got good at it. I liked turning a strong man into whimpering puddy at my command. His noises, his sighs, his swears are all music to my ears. Bringing him to a toe curling orgasm became satisfaction on another level. The feeling of empowerment in the action is strong even though there is very little pleasure in it for me.
I can't tell you what I was thinking when I was younger, only that I really wasn't. It didn't bother me then. Thinking back it still doesn't. I just wanted to do it because I could and it was fun. Today I'm more critical about equal pleasure, but in the old days it didn't mean anything to me and neither did the guy I did it to.0 1 0 0Thank you for your reply. The imbalance frustrates me, possibly more than it should. Of course, young people (and anyone else) are free to do as they please when it comes to sex. I wish young heterosexual females, in particular, however, were more educated about sex. I don't think some of them see themselves as being degraded/used/disrespected (and why should they?), but I can assure you from experience that this is how the males on the receiving end of oral sex view females. Females who perform oral sex so freely often becomes a joke amongst men. For many of them, the challenge is charming (i. e. bullshitting) a female enough for her to go out of her way to do this. I figured for a long time that there were females aware of this, but even the cleverest females (smarter than myself, by far) seem to view it as 'something you just do to make them feel good'. Perhaps, as a heterosexual male, it is a viewpoint that I will never understand.
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(3)Honestly I can't say what's in any women's mind.
But the idea of feminism is that each women has the right to, and gets to chose what is right for her. If she wants to be a stay at home mom who cooks and cleans, a business women who travels the world, or anything in between. If she wants to give head to a stranger or not.0 0 0 0I understand. However, I can't understand why a feminist would do something she isn't keen on purely to make a man feel good - particularly when, in the situations I've discussed, she has not received equal treatment. If it was the other way round (i. e. if I'd gone down on a female I'd met in a club without intending to see her again, and if I didn't like going down on females and had received minimal stimulation myself, I would feel degraded. I'd be pretty ashamed of myself, too). I hope you'll see that I'm playing Devil's Advocate more than anything here; I want to be able to respect this choice but to me it seems rather subservient: the choice of someone who doesn't respect themself enough to say no. Thank you for sharing your view
It seems like more of her own experience and expectations than being a feminist. I'm not someone who has casual sex or one night stands, it's just not right for me personally. The first time I was with someone I was dating I wanted to impress him. I'm not a massive fan of blowjobs, but I do enjoy feeling in control of his pleasure. On this occasion he neither offered oral for me, nor did he put much effort into listening or pleasing me. For centuries sex has traditionally been more about the man's pleasure than the women's. We can logically believe otherwise, but still unconsciously we make assumptions. Sometime sex is about more than just sex. If this women feels lonely or depressed she might be reaching out and trying to connect. A man compile ting her skill in the sack and enjoying the night together might make her feel more lovable or confident in herself. Maybe she is getting what she wants, it's just not what you would expect.
Thank you again for your replies; you're really helpful. I just wonder: concerning the experience you shared, did you not feel bitter or used after performing for a guy without him giving you the same satisfaction? Relying on sex acts to impress someone/get them to see you again seems to set up a precedent - males will keep coming (excuse the pun) if they are offered effortless oral sex, regardless of whether a girl was good/bad/funny/racist/ignorant/etc. Please forgive me if I'm wrong - I feel as though I'm being offensive (I don't mean to be) - but shouldn't a partner of choice be one that dates you based on your character rather than your sexual openness? In terms of trying to connect with someone by giving them head: this seems like a decision someone with low self esteem/self respect would make. Why put yourself out by having a penis put into your mouth when you could find the right person who makes you feel good without sex involved?
from the 1st blowjob I gave to the last one I gave was because I wanted to... as a woman I love a hard penis just for me... and I prefer sucking a hard penis more than anything... I enjoy the feeling of being on my knees always in a short dress or skirt or bra and panties... I want him to cum and that's been different levels of fun and/or excitement... if not slightly gross at times... love getting a man off and making him happy... not really into getting the same from a man... it's almost like a different game for me... I really see it more as my duty for making a man hard and I do enjoy making a man hard I wear very provacative and sexy clothes at times.
0 0 0 0giving head is fun and feels nice, it’s enough pleasure for some of us to not need anything in return
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