Would it be a deal breaker if you do not agree with your partner on how many kids to have?

[Anonymous]

My husband wants more kids.
He won't sleep with me or have sex anymore.

[summiter]

Kids will be with you for the rest of your life and they cost a lot of money. It should be a joint decision on how many to have. It is your body and you have to go through childbirth so I think your husband is being unfair. Buy a sex toy to give yourself some great orgasms... he will have to stick with jerking off for a while.

[RHK36]

It can be depending on how important it is to them. They may resent you or you may resent him if forced into a situation. So unless someone compromises, yes it could be a deal breaker for some.

[KiPanther]

Sorry to hear about your situation. I think it would only be something worth ending a relationship over if one person wants kids and the other doesn’t. The number you have should hopefully be an easier discussion to have and sort out without resorting to drastic measures.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Not a deal-breaker for me

No offense but your husband sounds kind of on the dumb side. If he wants more kids then he should be having more sex.

[Asker]

But I would make him wear a condom.

[Yads_Is_Back]

Well he's not gonna get any closer to his goal by chickening out of it completely lol But I get what you mean. Sorry :/ Do you think him leaving is a threat if he doesn't get his way? Or vice versa?

[Asker]

I think he just won't have sex with me anymore because he thinks sex is for babies

[OlderAndWiser]

He is not going to get more kids by withholding his deposits in your sperm bank.

How many do you already have?
How many more does he want?
How many more do you want?

[Asker]

We have 3, he wants 10, I want 0 more. No sex unless I agree to more babies. That's ok I guess, I need to go get tubes tied.

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you discuss this issue before you got married?

[Asker]

He only said he wanted a son. We have a son already.

[OlderAndWiser]

What will he say or do if you get a tubal ligation? Could you financially afford to have more children if you wanted to do that?

[Asker]

Yes, we are financially able to have more kids. I am not sure what he will say if I got my tubes tied. He was raised Roman catholic and went to roman catholic school and his brother divorced his wife after she only wanted two kids.

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you reminded him of his discussions on this subject before you were married,?

[Asker]

Yes many times. Every day he asks if I want more kids

[OlderAndWiser]

Did he get married thinking he could just force you to do whatever he wanted once you were married?

[Asker]

I don't know. But he knows I don't want a divorce.

[OlderAndWiser]

You need to start talking to him about the tubal ligation.

[Asker]

I just told him that in 2 years if he doesn't go get fixed I will go and get fixed.

[OlderAndWiser]

So you are willing to take a chance and have one more baby?

[Asker]

no chance, he is either wearing a condom or we aren't having sex.

[OlderAndWiser]

Got it. Why wait two years? Is there really any chance he will go get a vasectomy?

[Asker]

There's a VERY VERY Small chance like.00001% chance that he will go. His brother did not, his dad did not. His mom went to get her tubes tied. I waited 5 years for him to go and get it done but he didn't so then I caved and said if we have another will you go, so then we had the third. the third is 5 years younger than the middle.

[OlderAndWiser]

If you get it done now, it ends the drama.

[Asker]

I really don't want to go and get it done, I feel like me giving birth 3 times is enough on my part. I think he should go do it actually. I don't really mind too much him buying condoms but he refuses to buy condoms.

[OlderAndWiser]

"I think he should go do it actually." But he won't.

[Asker]

Hey there's still hope

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, it's possible. And t's also possible that Martians will land in my backyard tonight, but I'm not waiting up to give them milk and cookies! :) :) :)

[Asker]

You think it's that hopeless? I guess if I did get fixed I would feel like he didn't care about me and was only using me to make as many babies as possible.

[OlderAndWiser]

He's Catholic. Look at the pattern in his family.

[Asker]

You're right, I know that there's a high chance that I will eventually get my tubes tied. I wonder how he would feel then...

[Apple1996]

My guy wants 6 and I want 5 so I'll probably just have 6 to make him happy. It's not a huge dealbreaker to me

[Agape93]

Yes. If my partner wants kids, he’s going to have to find someone else. I’m not able nor willing to have kids or adopt them.

[Drumlin2001]

It's a pretty big deal. Needs to be discussed in a mature way

[Jamie05rhs]

LOL. He's not very smart, is he?

[vlx-na]

If he wants more kids not having sex seems counterproductive.

[Asker]

He will only have sex if he is going to be making babies. Sex with condoms is not his thing