FWB keep coming back after I said I love him?

[Wtfdude]

So before diving into the question heard the specs of it all I'm 24 he's 38. We are both never married and no children. We met in college it was my first degree and it wad his second. Initially we both got out from long term relationship. How everything started is my own doing. The first time I notice him in class I had a small crush on him but dissipated after Couple weeks into the semester he asked for my number and we started talking. It turns out he had a crush on me the same time. During this time I thought it would be a great idea to have him as a FWB for one he has/had a crush on me who more than likely will say yes to the matter and second genus a good looking guy who spells trouble so I thought I will not get attached since, aside for the physical aspect, he wasn't my type mentally and emotionally. Anyway time progress he asked me his study partner, we talk about our lives, school, past relationships, our hopes, philosophy in life. There was one time that got a little weird he told me his dream wedding and the song he wants to play when he dance with his to-be-wife. Time progress and we are still at it. We had arguments regarding me not opening up to him ( I thought FWBs don't do that) and me dating (sans sexual acts, I guess you can say we are monogamous except we have plan to have threesome now and then but it never have happened) which he suggested because he said "you need to see what is out there". Around this time I'm getting that love feeling. Time progress knowing how guys are only good for one thing I thought he'd get out of this weird state of giving me mixed signals but it still continued. He started cummin in me rather than in my mouth so he can watch me swallow :) (which I love) he started looking at me in the eyes rather than looking at he wall, he stays over the night.. So anyway we graduated I finally had a talk with him regarding everything, if we are going to end our relationship since school is doing to be over, he said he wanted it to continue and then I finally told him that I love him and I'm falling for him. I was expecting that he will be disappointed and say we can't continue, but instead he said " I know" and I asked him what he wanted from everything and he said " don't ruin it just let things happen" I can say I'm a realist, as much as I love him I know men are only good for one thing and the rest is just an illusion in a woman's head that they are capable of compassion and intimacy. This happened in May. I didn't contact him or anything. I text him that I was thinking about him when I do which is about once a month and comes over and. Have sex with me and sometimes stay over the night. When I ask him what does he want me to do for him he always say " I'm hear for you and this body is yours" which again mix signals. Question is: guys I know it's a deal breaker when FWB falls for you.. But why is this guy coming back but doesn't what to confront the situation when I ask him?!?!? Help!

[l-hedoniste]

First, a few corrections:

"We had arguments regarding me not opening up to him ( I thought FWBs don't do that)"

It's your relationship, you can do what you want. There's no rule that says that FWBs have to alienate each other.

"guys are only good for one thing"

Sometimes, it's the guy catching feelings. Sometimes, it's the guy feeling lost when it's over. Sometimes, it's the girl getting her nut and leaving. Don't make assumptions.

You have a decision to make. He has decided that despite you falling in love with him, he will accept sex with you as long as you're available. Me? This is unfair and unwise; it leaves scars. But that's his call.

Your call is, is this the relationship you're willing to live with, long-term? You don't sound exactly happy with the relationship, but he doesn't seem like he'll change it. So there are really only two options: stay, or go.

[Wtfdude]

True but to be honest he is a good lay I just want to make sure it's just a definite friends with benefits status and he doesn't want to. Answer it because either way if he says he just want to be friends with benefits great if he wants something else great as well just as long as I get my lay... Question is does he like me? I mean I never heard of a guy accepting the fact someone is falling in love with them and go ahead and still sleep with them :/ totally confused

[l-hedoniste]

Everything you just told me, you told him, right?

[coolbreeze]

I think he may like you. Hi might be hooked on you or your royal treasure. Do you guys do anything else besides sex? Like go out to dinner or lunch? I think if you both like each other it cn maybe work. I think men are worth more then only one thing. Some men hav more to offer then other men. I think he needs to express more of his feelings if you are saying you love him. I feel he should say it back. And that he is the one holding back. He should never take you for granted because he might lose you.

[Wtfdude]

Yea we do.. when we were still in school and when everything started we hang out about 5 days out of 7 days of a week.. when we graduated and have our own jobs.. we talk via IM, text, go out to bars sometimes.. or he would just hang out in my place or his place and talk.. watch sports.. without sex... I mean he called me his best friend and I can honestly say he is too to me... but I mean.. he doesn't say anything.. I'm not going to assume and be that kind of woman who would wish.. ya know?

[coolbreeze]

Yeah that's true. You don't want to assume anything if he isn't saying it. I think he might be shy and afraid of taking the next step. It's almost like you guys are a couple. But he might be afraid of committing to you. He better hope that you don't get bored and move on. Because it would be his fault of not appreciating what he has and taken you for granted. It also sounds like he is laid back and to comfortable. He is going to have to be honest with you on how he feels. Communication is key.

[Tamikaze]

This is too easy. A guy isn't going to shut the door on an opportunity for sex. This guy obviously enjoys having a casual sex partner and just because you have more feelings for him than he has for you doesn't mean he is going to stop calling for sex. I think you have read way too much into all these little things thinking it means he was falling for you. He may be comfortable with you but that isn't the same as a relationship. Oh, and I disagree that guys are not capable of compassion and intimacy, but keep up these type of deals and it will be true for you.

[coolbreeze]

Yeah he should had told you when you told him. He was being selfish and he should had communicated with you better. Guys try to act tough and hide their emotions. He was trying to play the fence and his cake and icecream at the same time.

[katiesmuff]

He likes your pu**y and wants some more of it.

[Wtfdude]

Well I like his c**k and want some of it.. I just want the logistics of everything clear so I just know how to categorize him in my life ... So what's his deal does he like me?