He hates me breasts, I hate my breasts, should I get surgery?

[Anonymous]

Basically my boyfriend is turned off by my breasts and told me straight up that he is not a fan and to wear a bra during sex. I do wear a bra during sex and the couple of times we have had sex in the shower I have worn a bikini top. The reason he doesn't like them is because I have big nipples, the circle part of my breasts are big. I don't like them either, in fact I hate them and can not look at myself in the mirror naked. Should I get surgery?

[Cartiphilus]

"Basically my boyfriend is turned off by my breasts and told me straight up that he is not a fan and to wear a bra during sex." Your boyfriend is an asshole to say that to his girlfriend.

"...the couple of times we have had sex in the shower I have worn a bikini top." That is damn ridiculous! He should love every square inch of your body not just some of tit.

"...The reason he doesn't like them is because I have big nipples, the circle part of my breasts are big." Sweetie, I happen to adore huge areolas. You've got the wrong boyfriend who can't properly love your assets.

"...I don't like them (big areolas) either, in fact I hate them and can not look at myself in the mirror naked. Should I get surgery?" Sweetie, you need to love your body.

"I have been going out with him for a little over a year and he is my very first. He's the only guy I have ever had sex with and seen me naked. It's not that easy to leave him." Fortunately, he's not the only guy out there and I hope you will find a guy who does love your body at least as much as he loves you as a person.

[saphirasilverwings]

You are wonderful. Thank you for existing.

[peace-love-couture]

Why must you bring my name up in every questions regarding areolas?

[taster]

@ Evangelina...becuz you comment on every one of these posts...and you are fun to tease...(that is a good thing)

[Cartiphilus]

You're going to one day regret getting surgery, Evangelina. It's a one way ticket. You'll never get them back once their gone.

[taster]

yeah...and what if your next bf/lover likes them large?

[Cartiphilus]

Evangelina is firmly convinced ALL guys hate big areolas and can't wait to reduce hers down to the size of nickles. Can you imagine a girl with DDs with areolas the size of nickles? She'll be ready for the circus right next to the bearded lady.

[peace-love-couture]

And? Surgery exists for a reason. Who cares about how guys will view my surgery

[Cartiphilus]

You might care how your surgery is viewed once you realize that your severely size reduced areolae are disproportional to size of your boobs. There are so many women out there with huge areolae and enjoy the attention they receive because of the size of their areolae.

[saphirasilverwings]

I think surgery should be reserved for health problem and real abnormalities. Some women are born with only one breast. But there's nothing wrong or weird about your areolas. They are just big, like some people's noses or shoulders or eyes. People are made differently, it's a natural variation.

[saphirasilverwings]

And it's normal to be insecure sometimes, everyone is. But I think being insecure to the point of wanting surgery shows that you are simply too hung up about it.

[peace-love-couture]

Well surgery will make me less hung up on it

[Lupianwolf]

Yeah, your bf's a d*** nobody should say something hurtful to their partner

Don't get surgery just to please him as he probably doesn't like you enough to look over those problems

[sarahmiller]

Nice job!Love your comment.The guys an asshole.

[Butterfly_kisses09]

That is ridiculous. NEVER change yourself for a guy. It would be the worst mistake ever, what if you break up? A boyfriend should be supportive and love everything about his girlfriend. Ditch the loser and find a guy who loves you the way you are and learn to love yourself too. That's the only way you'll ever be happy is when you love yourself and don't take any crap from a guy. If he really cared about you, he would love your breasts. Tell him if he doesn't like it then you can find someone better who does. Stand up for yourself and don't get surgery because some guy says he dislikes your boobs. You should learn to love everything about your body and raise your self esteem. You shouldn't have to wear a bra or bikini top (really?smh) during sex. However if you still truly want the surgery, at least do it for yourself and not for him.

[queenofpeen]

I personally would say, "If you don't like them, you don't get to be around them at all." and I'd probably end up leaving him. A boyfriend is not worth a decrease in self-esteem.

Big areolas are totally normal. Mine are freakin' 2 inches across and my boyfriend loves them.

I think it's very superficial and unloving for him to say that to you. The problem isn't your boobs, it's your boyfriend. He's allowed to have preferences, but if he truly loves you, it wouldn't matter much, especially not enough to actually tell you things like that.

[queenofpeen]

@Update: Would it help if I PROMISE you that you'll find someone better? :P I know it's hard, but you need to think about what's good for you. I had to leave my boyfriend of two years (he was my first everything) because he made me feel like crap. It wasn't easy at ALL, but looking back on it, I'm so glad I did. Nobody deserves a partner that says bad things about them...

[Cartiphilus]

That's correct, queenofpeen (whatever peen is) she doesn't need any guy who tries to destroy her self-esteem.

[taster]

Way to call 'em...Good Job My Friend! My respect for you grows daily...

[queenofpeen]

I also recommend that you (QA) take a look at this: link

[ALWAYSclassy]

You should think about getting a new boyfriend. Nobody is perfect, we all have flaws. If your man sees nothing wrong with bluntly putting you down and criticizing you for not having the perfect breasts he desires, the biggest problem is the fact that you tolerate this. If you don't like them then the surgery is your decision but either way I wouldn't put up with a boyfriend telling me how I'm made isn't good enough so wear a bra when I have sex with you. What an ass. I hope you know he's taking advantage of your already vulnerable self image.

[Distant]

If it's causing self-image problems EXCLUDING your boyfriend's opinion then you should consider it. Only do things such as surgery for your own benefit and no one else's.

[Aries11w]

He sounds lIke a controlling arse hole and you deserve SOOOOOO much better! Your breasts sound absolutely fine, don't be embarrassed by them. If you find a normal descent guy, I bet you hell love them and tell you how beautiful they are and you'll feel better about them too.

If you are unhappy then it's your choice to have surgery but NEVER have surgery because someone else doesn't like them. I think it's a control thing for him, he knows your sensitive about them and he's using that to control you and your intimacy. Like queen said, if he don't like them then he don't get the pleasure!

[saphirasilverwings]

Areolas come in all shapes and sizes, and that includes big. Personally I think you should mend your self esteem and find a guy who will be more supportive and accepting, not get surgery. It's not worth going through that for someone who can't even respect you enough to not ask you to cover up your body in front of him. That's not normal behavior from someone who cares about you, and it's not fair to you. I couldn't be with a guy who said things like that.

[saphirasilverwings]

Something is SO VERY WRONG with our culture if we've got people thinking they need to get surgery to "fix" things about themselves that aren't even broken...

[queenofpeen]

<3

[saphirasilverwings]

:) QA: I'm sure it won't be easy to leave him. But you need to stand up for yourself and take care of your emotional health. I would actually probably classify his behavior as a type of abuse. You could try discussing it with him and letting him know how harmful he is being-maybe he doesn't realize it- but I think you deserve better than what you have right now. If he is making you want to change yourself when nothing is even wrong with you, he is bad news.

[Cartiphilus]

saphirasilverwings, you need to tell Evangelina that.

[saphirasilverwings]

I feel like I have before :p

[taster]

:D

[Jill2690]

To me that seems weird for a guy to say and request. Is he critical about you in other ways? There are nicer guys out there who would love your boobs as they are, guaranteed.

[eurochick]

I would never risk scars or other health risks for making my body look better. I think you need a guy who tells you that he likes your nipples.

[kmh9292]

I have big areolas too...and I used to hate them. I still get self-conscious about them sometimes, but my boyfriend encourages me that I shouldn't be self-conscious, because they're just another thing that makes me uniquely beautiful.

My advice would be to dump that guy and find someone who makes you feel beautiful and respected, who builds up your confidence, rather than tearing it down.

[Asker]

Does your boyfriend like them or not care?

[kmh9292]

he says he likes them...but I mean, I think it kind of goes with the whole "love is blind" thing, too. Know what I mean? He loves me as a whole and thinks I'm beautiful as a whole, and my breasts are a part of that.

[Cartiphilus]

kmh9292, you've got a good boyfriend.

[taster]

I don't get it..what is wrong with big areolas?

[Olya363]

what a loser . its okay to hate your own breasts but why would you date someone with the same opinion? get a boyfriend that loves everything bout you

[taster]

It is not "ok" to hate your own breasts..but yeah...agree otherwise...

[eurochick]

Agreed!

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

I sugest some one gets a new bf... big areolas are normal ... its not like you have a triple nipple or some thing sheesh...

[Shane1017]

Am I the only guy who likes big areolas lol?

[Cartiphilus]

NO!, you're not! I love 'em.

[Shane1017]

On the rare chance I do watch p*rn I go out of my way to make sure the girls has big areolas lol

[taster]

No you are not! I like females the way they were born!

[Shane1017]

Pedo

[saphirasilverwings]

I don't think he meant it quite that way haha.

[AllTheSameToMe]

I bet he watches a lot of p*rn, or just hasn't seen very many girls naked. Because any guy who has will know that real girls with real boobs can't help the size of their areolas. Some are big and some are small. He is being a petty, unrealistic, asshole with ridiculous standards.

If you are not happy with the way they look, then change them. But do it for yourself, not for a guy. Especially not somebody who is so rude to you. Think about this: If you change them for him, and he loves them, you could break up with him, and the next guy you date hate small ones. Getting surgery for a guy is nearly as stupid as getting his name tattooed on your face. Any guy worth being with will love you for you, and accept your flaws, or maybe not even see them. He will try to make you feel good about yourself. Not put you down.

[taster]

Y don't you tell him to go f*** himself?!?!?! He is an A**hole and you need a new male in your life...or none at all if you can't do any better than that...

[nate18]

how big of areola are you talking? quarter sized? bigger? smaller?

[Asker]

Bigger than a quarter but if I had to guess cause I have never measured them I would say 2 inches or bigger than an inch and a half

[nate18]

thats big.

[Asker]

I know what is your point? Surgery?

[Cartiphilus]

You have two-inchers! That's awesome! Check out this girl. Do you think she's shy about showing off her t*ts? link

[Anonymous]

He's an asshole. He can't expect everything to be p*rnstar perfect. I'm sure he dosnt have a 10 inch penis and a six pack so he should shut up. I bet there's something on his body that you don't like, why don't you tell him and see how he likes it? what a loser. Breast's are there for when you have a baby, to feed it. Not just there to look "pretty". Plus there is nothing wrong with the size of your nipples. Everyone is different, but still normal.

[Anonymous]

judging by the question and some of the responses, you sound great as it is! find a new guy because plenty will appreciate your boobs for what they are!

[Anonymous]

It's easier & more convienient to look for another boyfriend who would appreciate your natural beauty.

[taster]

yeah..Oh Yeah...

[Anonymous]

They must be bad enough for your own boyfriend to mention that he's turned off by them so maybe surgery would help?

[Cartiphilus]

As I keep trying to tell Evangelina, surgery is NOT the answer.

[Anonymous]

You have big areolas not big nipples. Big areolae are nasty as hell so I would get them done and the next guy would appreciate you getting them reduced

[saphirasilverwings]

Big areolas are completely normal. If you're so superficial that you can only handle certain looks, then that's your own choice, but don't criticize other people's bodies and make them feel worse about themselves. It's not your place to tell someone that they need to cut off part of their body because it's so ugly. How would you feel if someone said that to you, especially about a totally normal thing?

[Chelleyk97]

You're such an assh*le. You didn't have to answer if you were gonna be a d*** about things!

[taster]

u don't speak for me...