He wants unprotected sex... Should I go with it, or not?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of about 7 months now wants to have sex with out the protection of a condom. I'm not sure though... I mean, I don't want to get pregnant. I mean, I want to please him, but I don't know about this one. I told him that I was scared, and he promised that nothing would happen. What should I do? he says that it would make him really happy, and that his happiness should be important to me... I do want him to be happy, I've just herd too many horror stories. And... why would he want sex with no condom, anyways? Should I do it, or not?

[Blindness]

No no no no no.

Do not do this.

Here's why:

First, there's the pregnancy/disease risk.

Second, his happiness should not be the most important thing to you. If you start believing that pleasing other people is the road to satisfaction, you'll be in a world of pain and confusion, possibly for the rest of your life. It's too easy to tie your sense of self-worth to pleasing other people (I've done it, too). Kindness is very important in this world. But pleasing a boyfriend (or girlfriend, or friend, or family member, or teacher) should never be the single most important thing in anyone's life.

Third, if this guy is pressuring you to do something that you're uncertain about, he's being abusive. If he's using mind-games and playing on your emotions, he's being abusive. If he's not respecting your decisions, he's being abusive. Abuse is when you put your needs above someone else's needs -- that can mean hitting when you're angry, or being sly and manipulative to get your own way. Perhaps you should reconsider if this guy really cares for you.

Fourth, it doesn't matter why he wants sex without a condom (though I think it's a terrible idea). What matters is what do *you* want? What are *your* boundaries?

Good luck.

[Mexijoe]

Don't do it cause he wants too do it because you want to and you trust him with the fact that if he doesn't pull out on time you will get prego and if he doesn't pull out get plan b as soon as you can it's a life saver! Aha

I'd never have sex with my girlfriend with out a condom not unless were ready to have kids aha

[confusedgirl101]

Personally to me this guy sounds like an asshole,

where does your happiness stand in the relationship, And does he care

or notice at all how it makes you uncomfortable !? No, He just

skips your feelings and manipulates you into feeling guilty .

don't feed into his bullsh*t .

your under 18, your body cannot handle a child.

it probably struggles to handle sex.

If your not taking birth control and your not using a condom you have a ridiculously high chance of getting pregnant, is an hour or two of pleasure worth a lifetime of responsibility ? Consider that . &&&

I would consider breaking up with this one if I were you.

[thelittlethings]

He shouldn't make promises he can't keep because he cannot promise nothing will happen. You can end up preggers or with an STD. Your comfort and health should be important to him and him guilt tripping you into it is bull sh*t. He sounds like a selfish jerk. He wants to have sex without a condom because he can feel it better so it will feel better to him. But it doesn't feel bad with one, it still feels good so he shouldn't be complaining. Be smart! Don't end your childhood by having one of your own. Tell him to wear a condom or no sex.

[romantiquee15]

Don't do it! yes you want to please him but it is YOU who will have to deal with pregnancy if something happens..will he get pregnant? a definite no. will YOU get pregnant? there's a high chance of it if you do this...so be smart and don't do it. don't take the risk.

[nappycurls]

Guys usually want sex without condoms because it feels better.

[1catydid]

You forgot to say that she DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT DO IT!!! lol

[defygrav12]

DON'T.

Unless if you want a baby. Maybe get some birth control, but DON'T LET HIM PRESSURE YOU. I don't know what his issue is, because he should care about what scares you rather than what pleasures him. But if he pressures you more, then he's got some selfish pleasure issues, and you should talk to him/dump him. You're gonna be the one stuck with a kid and a pregnancy, not him. And trust me, it'll happn.

[boi818]

NO

[l-hedoniste]

You say you don't want to get pregnant, which leads me to think you're not on birth control. If you're not on birth control, unprotected sex will probably make you pregnant.

You know all of this already, I hope.

[FrozenDonkeyWheel]

DO NOT DO IT. While it is important for you to care about his happiness, this is completely ridiculous and could and probably would end up getting you pregnant, which is significantly more important than his feelings. And it's just so insanely awful that he would get happiness from something so incredibly dangerous. I don't even know why he would want to do that. It's stupid.

[The-Dude-Next-Door]

NO

[sksyslses]

hell and no because it makes him happy but will you be happy nine months later when you have a kid I don't think so,oh hell just do it you won't get crabs or a STD oh wait you will so don't do it

[Chilli_Pie]

The fact that you or anybody in your situation has to come onto a public forum to ask if being pressured into unprotected sex is 'OK' should tell you that you're not comfortable with the idea (or else, you'd just do it). Then, the fact you're expressing doubt or discomfort about the idea should suggest to you that it's perhaps something you SHOULDN'T do. And express that to your boyfriend, who seems so considerate as to put his own happiness over yours and manipulating you to curry to his whim.

Perhaps all of the above should be more than ample warning for you to not only NOT have unprotected sex – thus avoiding a great possibility of an unwanted pregnancy and a STD that he might not even be aware that he has – but also consider if this person is compatible. Anybody who claims to love you wouldn't put their own interests before yours and implicitly throw caution to the wind with your safety just for a few minutes of personal satisfaction.

[Anonymous]

only do it if YOU feel comfortable with it

and

i would say only do it if ur on birth control

[Anonymous]

Im going to be real here and tell you yes. You should do it. I never use condoms when I have sex with my boyfriend and we have been together for over a year now. The feeling is so much better and you are more likely to have an orgasm without one. There is nothing like it at all its just amazing. Plus the feeling of him releasing inside of you. That always drives me to an intense orgasm every time. Have fun. Let me know how it goes.

[anonclguy]

She's right as long as you're on some other kind of birth control. His "promise" that nothing will happen is meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Nope...out of the question.

First off...pregnancy is very likely if you do this. Do not trust his "pull out method"...it does not work! I mean after all precum can get you pregnant.

Second...STDs are very likely...even if he is committed to you...there is never a guarantee of truthfulness about the past.

NO NO NO.