Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health +1 y
I have issues with porn.
Anonymous
As in, I hate it. Actually, I know the problem's within me, not porn. I hate my body, actually. I feel ugly. And every time I see attractive women with big breasts, I feel ugly, 'cos I have small breasts. I have wide hips and a small waist, but I look cartoonish. I also have huge thighs, I need to tone up 'cos I look flabby, though I'm at a healthy BMI. I have stretch marks, too. And small breasts. How I HATE my small breasts. I discovered my boyfriend had been watching porn. He always told me he loved me and my body, and that he likes to watch amateur. I'm ok with amateur. But I discovered that he's been watching mainstream stuff lately. Huge breasts, toned bodies, blondes (I'm a brunette). Also, he knows I have self image issues, and once, while discussing them, he told me he likes bigger breasts than mine but that he loves me and my body regardless. He's constantly complimenting me too, so I know this is all in my head. It still hurts. I repeat to myself all the time "all guys do it, it's just fantasy, it means nothing, he still thinks I'm attractive, I'm being a fool". But it doesn't work. How can I compare to images of perfection for crying out loud! I know he loves me and me alone, but I also want to be his fantasy! Not to feel that some perfect looking porn star is taking that away from me, that he masturbates to her and would be 1000x times more aroused if I had that body type when having sex with me. I don't want him to stop looking though, nor do I want to talk about this because he'll feel bad about himself, he'll feel guilty, and this is my problem anyway. What can I do? I hate my body and wished it was different, so he'd get turned on by what he likes the most. Then, I believe, I wouldn't mind him watching mainstream, as I'd know I have the body that he's the most attracted to. Right now I feel he's just settling for me, because he obviously must believe these porn stars have better bodies, otherwise he'd masturbate to normal looking women, who look like me (this is why I don't mind amateur).
Updates:
+1 y
I've noticed that in these kind of questions guys always say that porn stars aren't that hot. But among buddies, they're all the rage! Or in mags like Maxim and such. What's the truth guys? Are you trying to spare my feelings?
1 0
What Girls & Guys Said
17 22A lot of women feel insecure when they find out that their guy watches porn. Like some of the others here have said, talk with him about how it makes you feel, it's the best thing to do.
Another thing you could try is have him over one night and watch a couple videos with him. While, yes, the women in the videos are very attractive (and I'm not going to lie, I find them attractive too.), some of what goes on in the videos might be why he watches them.
Personally, I enjoy watching the videos with my guy (even while having sex(adds something new)).
it's okay ur're beautiful don't think that badly way...have some confidence baby..u're the best
i think that u're a brave girl deserves to be happy..
Aww ( :
It's not about porn... It's about your head.. You know perfectly what you should think and do... And I can understand your feeling, I had self image issue once, and I worked it out.. You have to know that NO one is perfect! He needs you to be not perfect, because he is not. He loves you just because who you are. Don't let those insercure thoughts mess you up. Think about that, would your boyfriend want any of those porn stars be his girlfriend? You know the answer! So get those thoughts out of your head! Just believe what your boyfriend says, and you also need to work on your self image issue... keep yourself fit and healthy, and be confident.. That is attractive!
while it is VERY hard for most guys with internet to resist porn (guys are physiologically (and sometimes socially) hardwired to be extremely physically attracted to things which are shown in porn), If I were him I would be able to resist it if my girlfriend was really upset by it.
Does he know how much you dislike it? You have to be clear about it.
I had this same problem; my guy watching a lot of porn & fantasizing about ASIAN women. But eventually I just learned to focus on me. I learned a new hobby, started putting more hours in at work, and reconnected with old friends. When I finally centered and came to terms with what was going on, I sat down with my guy and told him what it was that was bothering me. Oh, sure, all straight men like to look at naked women (take it from me, I have 3 grown brothers & plenty of guy friends), but come on. I told him that it bothered me that he watched a lot of porn and would rather beat off to some freaky, nasty thing than do the real deal with me. He understood, and also told me his point. Now, whenever he gets the urge to watch porn, he always asks me if I want to watch them too. I was suprised when I discovered that they weren't that bad.
hun.he's not masterbating to big breasts.he's masterbating to her sexual confidence. from your self description you sound absolutely gorgeous. and small boobies are sexy! small boobs in a tank drives guys crazy.especially when you don't need a bra.perfects little perky's!
think about how many gorgeous celebs have them.ummm Eva Longoria?!?!
i don't think the porn thing would bother you so much if you had more confidence with your own bod.
this is what you should do.be funny. go buy a big pair of strap on boobs, put them on and tell him your gonna be his porn flick for the night. I bet you anything he'll rip them off and ravage you!
Lol, thanks, you're funny! Yeah, I guess I should've thought about Eva as I'm latina myself...
lol hun, guys like big boobies. most of them at least...its just nature.
dont worry about it ... and in my opinion you sound amazingly beautiful.
why don't you compromise with him? say something like...i don't care if you watch porn, just not around me and I don't want to hear about it.
if he asks why just say your not totally comfortable with it. depending on how close you are, you can tell him that your not fully happy in your skin right now and hearing about those fantasy girls make you make you feel worse. he should get it quickly and if he's smart and loves you he'll do what ever it takes to make you happy with yourself.
Also, remember that most of those porn stars are really fake...im talking tucks of all sort, not being able to eat much, working there ass of all the time. breast implants, hair dye, make up, spray tans (ive heard some bleach there skin to make themselves really pale) some wear color contacts too. Face it, they're just well payed whores. BARBIES even.
simple answer to this essay. don't watch porn
Think of porn as a visual aid for guys
-u know what's worse? try being in love with someone who's in the industry =/
Are you in that situation?
I agree with you. Balloon breasts, whitened teeth and a huge babboon ass on a skinnny body are all too extreme to be deemed attractive. I had wished I had bigger boobs because I thought guys liked them. I don't feel attractive either so you aren't the only one.
sadly, I don't have any real advice for you, because I feel EXACTLY the same way and have yet to figure out how to get over it. I have to say though, it's nice to read your question and see that I'm not the only one who feels like that.
just so you know.men just love to look at naked women. It is not personal agaisnt the woman they are with, it is just more nudity and sex. Your problem isn't really a porn problem as much as a self esteem problem. Be happy with who you are. One reason porn is fun to look at is because those women know how to flaunt thier sexuality, and that drives us men crazy. If you are timid about your looks and your body, then maybe it is time to come out of that shell. Put on a sexy show for your man some night.show him why you are so sexy and desirable. Quit worrying about how you differ from other women. You sound like you have a great body, be proud of it. You don't have to have big breasts to have great breasts. But you do need a great selfesteem to come across really sexy.
Love what you are, and your man will find that desirable.
It's very easy to say "Be happy with who you are". I agree, I should. But the pressure to look great is huge. If porn stars aren't as hot as some guys say, then why do they all look the same? I'm not inhibited, I always give him what he wants and have even taken pics of myself naked or doing things to him. It's so unfair that some artificial bimbo is sexier than me. That these artifical bimbos are what sell. Why do THEY sell? Why can't normal women sell, or be showcased as the sexiest?
They sell what they think needs to sell. But there are some totally sexy 'girls next door" that I would much rather see in a porn than some of the artificial things they show. maybe you should make a video of yourself masterbating for your man or something like that. Become the porn star you long to be.
Maybe I didn't explain well enough. Of course most porn stars are hot. And of course the models on the front of magazines like playboy, penthouse, and maxim are hot. And of course we love to look at them. The point is that it really has nothing to do with you. It is just the guys fascination for the opposite sex. We love looking at women. But what we really love is being with a woman that loves her own sexuality and is excited about sharing it with us.
"Of course most porn stars are hot. And of course the models on the front of magazines like playboy, penthouse, and maxim are hot. And of course we love to look at them. The point is that it really has nothing to do with you. It is just the guys fascination for the opposite sex. We love looking at women." I understand, what I don't understand is the fixation with artificial beauty. It's unfair. Natural should be perfect, artificial should be second best. Natural should be on the cover of mags.