I haven't been able to make my girlfriend wet in the past 2 months. I need advice.

[Anonymous]

she has gone to the gyno and everything is normal down there. she has been on the same birthcontrol for years and she has had no change in her diet. She use to get really wet just from making out in the beginning of our relationship now she is almost never wet before we have sex. we usually have 20 minutes of foreplay before sex. I usually start off kissing her neck and earlobe, then take of her shirt and pants, kiss her breast and nipples, then kiss down to her belly button take off her underwear then kiss up and down the insides of her legs and tease her kissing her closer to her clit then go back to kissing somewhere else. This use to drive her crazy ( I don't do the same exact thing every time) and now she doesn't even get wet enough to finger her. And when I do all that and she's not wet I immediately get turned off and get soft but usually she will give me head for a little and I get hard again and then I will lightly thust against her vagina till she wet enough that it goes in. she still really likes sex and cums from sex and oral. but sometimes when I do a lot of foreplay and she isn't wet I'm so turned off that I no longer want to have sex. I can’t help it, it just really turns me off. She always asks me what’s wrong and ill say something like "im sorry I don't want you to feel like there's something wrong with your body but you don't get wet from foreplay anymore and it makes me feel like you don't find me attractive anymore and it does make me feel bad about myself and it kinda kills the mood for me.im sorry I don't want to make this into a big deal but it does bother me." then she always starts crying and saying she does get wet and that she does find me attractive. and then says that I'm trying to say that we don't have good sex anymore and then acts like I'm trying to say our whole relationship is falling apart. Then I explain that I'm not trying to say any of that and hold her. I ask her what I can do to turn her on more she says I love it when you kiss the insides of my legs. But I do all that and she still not wet her clit isn’t erect? I don't know if that’s the proper term. And I can just tell she is not as into it. She is just as into sex as always. But because I don’t feel like she was turned on prior to sex it makes me less into it. I’m looking for any advice on getting her more turned on or even your thoughts on the situation.

[SomeGuy37]

Sounds like you are just 'going through the motions' doing the same old thing. Does she maybe want something new, different, and something that shows her that YOU CARE, and are TRYING?
It isn't about you, when you are LOVING a woman. She usually doesn't like the things she does for you, but she does, but how many guys really put any effort into really pleasing your girl?
Maybe just get her a 'Spa Day' gift to get totally pampered and get all the things that they love done, a massage, a manicure/pedicure, facial, and so on. Then actually cook something that she loves, you, yourself, with her favorite wine (Do you know what she loves, or her favorite wine?)
Make it a special night, JUST ABOUT HER, and do EVERYTHING you can, for her! Yeah, a sensual bath, together, if she likes that, or just giving her that special joy that she wants, but is unsure of, if she likes.
Don't expect to have sex, but just make it a special time, for her, and just sleep together, holding her close.
There are so many things that we, as guys forget, or ignore, that mean so much to women.
Focusing on sex, or wetness, isn't any solution. There is something TOTALLY unrelated to sex, that is inhibiting your joy. Maybe your expectations of her 'wetness' are not appropriate for her? Maybe she has changed, and that isn't 'HER' anymore.
It's all communication, trust, and intimacy. Sometimes you need to remember that she needs things from you, too, and they aren't what you might expect!
As you get older, you realize that the RELATIONSHIP is more important than sex. Sometimes a good dinner, and a good wine, shared, together, is better!

[jackflynn7]

You are making this into a big deal. Don't obsess on her natural wetness. Replace it. When my lover needs help, I use plenty of cocoa butter lotion. It is slick, stays wet and is unobtrusive in oral sex. Because it is water-based. It is refreshingly cooling and mixes with her fluid which eventially comes.

[kity1983]

coco butter good tip

[Asker]

do you use it when she isn't able to get wet enough to have sex or when she's not getting wet from foreplay?

[kity1983]

they do flovored lubes now also incase you wanted to wet her with your mouth,

[goflipaburger]

hm... maybe you should have her drink more water before sex? Like.. lots of it.

Although she might generally be drinking enough water, its possible that she's grown a little less sensitive somehow. With a little bit of the feeling to pee it would probably help her be more sensitive.

at least that's what google says ><

[kity1983]

just dnt make big deal from it, use lube in your fore play that way it part of it, some women are like that doesn't mean they are not turned on. or she don't like u, she can't help it, it her body that doin it,

[Asker]

i know she can't help it. we having sex for over 6 months and only recently has this been happening. And its not the wetness that makes me not think she's not turned on its the fact that her clits not errect but I'm not a girl so I don't know if you can still be turned on without your clit being errect

[kity1983]

yeah some just go red not all stick out, I dnt think mine does and if it does it not by much,

[Asker]

yea I know but her does stick out more when she's turned on. that's the main reason why I think she isn't turned on its not so much the wetness

[Coffinspire]

I have these problems sometimes (not often) and for me nothing is that sensitive unless I'm wet. Try some lube? Try something new with her?

[Asker]

any ideas for trying somethan new?

[Coffinspire]

Slap her ass, get a little forceful with her, roleplay, initiate in places other than the bedroom. The list goes on get creative!

[Asker]

tried what you said and it worked

[Coffinspire]

Yay! congrats I'm glad I could help.

[Anonymous]

She may be stressed out and it's affecting her sex drive. You can also try lube, don't take it personally sometimes we can't control what our bodies can and can't do :(

[Anonymous]

20 minutes of foreplay is not a lot for a girl. If you've been together a long time, things could be getting monotonous. Try something new, change it up a little, try a little longer foreplay. If all else fails...LUBE.