Girl, stay strong! I understand how hard it must be without a husband/father figure for the baby. But God has you and that little one in his hands!
He decided it was time for you to be a mama! I just want to congratulate you for chosing to keep and raise your baby! I salute you for stepping up to the plate when your name was called. You're gonna hit this one right out of the park! You're baby is gonna be so beautiful, don't listen to all these morons about how you need to focus on being a mommy, I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job of preparing for the baby! Its not gonna be born tomorrow, so there's nothing wrong with trying to get some support or even try to find someone to be a father figure for your little one! I'd say that's very HEALTHY actually.
I got pregnant on my birthday, January 12th of this year. Found out on February 12th. Had a medical abortion on Feb. 17th... my dad's birthday. On Feb 19th I took the second set of pills and passed the pregnancy. I regret it with every fiber of my being and wish I could have another chance with my baby. I miss her so god damned f*cking much. She's gone. I poisoned her with the pill I took. I can STILL FEEL the empty feeling inside my tummy. I miss the morning sickness and cravings and everything so much... I would give almost anything to have her back. My baby girl should be safe and warm inside of me, growing and happy and being loved. but she's not. she's buried under my baby apple tree in the field at my house. she's out in the cold rain. well... SHE'S in heaven... but her body is out there. I would have named her Sadie. I want her so badly... I was SOOOO scared and disillusioned. I didn't even give myself a chance to THINK! No time alone to think it through! just my scared boyfriend and I, in a clinic. tears in our eyes... scared... being pressured and told what was best...
My blood is RH negative and the doctor told me it was attacking the embryo anyway. which I later learned was most likely a LIE. I would have had to have previous exposure to RH positive blood. the fear of having a deformed, brain damaged child helped me chose death. They give you a "choice". a choice to kill your own baby. I wish so bad I could have a second chance. but sometimes you don't get those. I will LIVE WITH THIS PAIN FOREVER. its like part of me died after I took that pill. I felt it all happening just an hour after. chills, dizziness... I could just FEEL that something was wrong once the baby was dead.
Anyways... I didn't mean for this to turn into a huge abortion rant haha... I MEANT for it to be encouraging to you, that you made the right decision. GOD BLESS YOU, mama-to-be, take care!
Just curious, if it was an embryo how did you know it was a girl? An embryo is the baby from 0-12 weeks. And gender cannot be determined that early.
just had that feeling. My boyfriend and I both wanted it to be a boy, but I think it was a girl. I had a dream about a week after the abortion... she was in my lap and I was looking down at her at about 6 months. She had her daddy's eyes and my mouth and it was HER. I swear it was. I couldn't hold her though in my dream. I just couldn't. She layed there looking at me, loving me, but I couldn't cuddle her and hold her.
because I was in the van with my family. I have no idea why she wasn't in a car seat or anything... but everyone was watching me and my parents hated her and my mother was jealous... I was furious in the dream. My main reason for getting the abortion was fear of my parent's reaction and kicking me out. That's probably why they were in the dream. I wanted to hold my babygirl so bad but I couldn't because of everyone around me staring at me.
Perhaps you should take a break from males. Learn to find yourself as truly beautiful and realize how wonderful you are.
If your baby doesn't have a father, would you consider adoption? My brother was adopted, and we all love him so much. He has been such a blessing. My parents couldn't have another child, and we are so happy to have him. His mother didn't have a boyfriend, either, and though she loved him, she realized he would be better off with a family that had two parents and a big sister. It was the most selfless, loving decision she made for him. I can't imagine not having him as a brother.
She is now happily married with two children. I'm so happy for her.
But anyway, I think that you should take a break from men. You are beautiful, you need to see that. Learn about who you are as an individual. You are special. You are more than what a man thinks about you.
God loves you, no matter what. I don't know if you believe in God or not, but He loves you more than anything in the world. And I might get a bunch of negative responses, but I'm going to say it because I believe it's true. God loves you, and He loves your baby.
I'll be praying for you :) Good luck!
When a woman is pregnant, her body decides, "It's not like I can get more pregnant," and it stops doing a bunch of the things it normally does. There is this MHC stuff in your body controlling who you can and can't fall in love with. A pregnant woman might find herself suddenly craving food she used to find repulsive, her taste in MHC undergoes a polar reversal. She's no longer attracted to people with MHC that is dissimilar to hers, and way more attracted to men with similar MHC. From an evolutionary perspective, this was probably so that women would want to spend more time around family members in a protective environment rather than out at a bar trying to get laid again. In a modern context, it's probably why pregnant women so often want to murder their husbands with a meat cleaver: He no longer smells like her type.
This is me bringing science in to say, just wait on it, for now you have your friends and family, you don't need a boyfriend. :)
I admit I had no idea what MCH was, so I went to look it up. Wow! It's pretty interesting stuff. It worries me that taking a contraceptive (which mimics pregnancy?) might tamper with your body's natural ability to choose a good mate. (biologically anyways)
I actually think that your x-boyfriend was an asshole...how can he make you pregnant and not marrying you and loving you forever, how could he ever just leave you, it's his kid too...what a prick!
i wish to find someone whom will love you for real, but I always talked about these mistakes which is sex before marriage, why would you want to have sex before marriage or having with the wrong guy...sex ain't a game...especially what's the fault of your future kid to be born in this world to see himself/herself living in a lovely family where he calls mom and dad...that is the major destruction of societies which had lost family morals and traditions and everything!
ehh a girl being hot = advertising her reproductive worth. you're reproductive worth is producing a man's child in your baby factory right now
why in the world would a man want anything to do with you dear? ... why would any sane guy want to get involved with a woman pregnant with another man's child.
you got yourself into this mess, now wait it out.
just what I was thinking. you should of waited till you found a guy that would stay with you to help rise the child.start thinking about the baby not any other guy I would neber want to go out with a girl that's pregant.wait till after you have the baby.
yea this chick is a little detached from reality
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Any guy who claims they wanna be with you now will only use you because they will know you are vulnerable.
You don't need a man in your life right now. You need family and friend support to get you through this time.
You only think you need a guy because as you said you're so used to have male attention.
I don't mean to sound too strsight forward but you need to get a grip on your self and remember that since you choose to keep this child the world won't revolve around you no more. Baby first. And if that is too hard to accept then maybe consider terrminating the pregnancy because the child doesn't need selfish parents. Take it from me. Been there, done that.
I am not aborting my baby. I'm ready to be a mom I already have names picked out. I'm not trying to be selfish, I just wanted to be happy right now. I've been depressed. But I should be all focused on my baby.
do you want to keep this baby?
Yes I want to keep this baby.
well if that's the case, then you need to get your priorities straight. get a job, get a place to stay, and get everything that your baby is going to need. that's it. you being pregnant to all guys, it means you come with responsibility. a lot of guys don't want to take care of their own kids let alone someone elses. don't worry about guys right now because they aren't just willing to be with a moody, pregnant chick. after you have baby and get your bod back, then the boys will come.
I rated on your comment. And I accidentally pressed the wrong arrow. It says -1 but it's supposed to be +1. Sorry.
My question for you is, what's more important, attention from random guys, or your baby? If I were you, I'd be more focused on my unborn child, than the next guy in my life. Maybe that's just me. At the right time, the right guy will enter your life, but you have to set your priorities right now. You and your baby need you to be in the right frame of mind for this pregnancy, which means trying to find "Mr Right" can't be the top of your to do list. Maybe you'll find that you're content without a man in your life for right now, and when you stop looking, that's when he'll show up.
You should not be worried about finding a man right now. Your first priority is making sure that you're bringing this baby into a healthy environment that you can support it in. I know you want a guy blahblahblah, but you need to put it off for a while.
I can understand you feeling like you need someone by your side right now...but try to seek out family or friends for companionship...you need time to process what has happened with the father of your baby & your pregnancy. I wouldn't even be looking for a man right now, or for quite a while. Being pregnant is far from the worse thing that could have happened--it's a miracle & I hope you will consider talking with an adoption agency counselor if you really feel like you aren't ready to be a Mom...there are tons of great loving, stable couples who would give anything for the chance for you to choose them. And there are even open adoptions, if you choose, where you could still get pictures & stay in touch with your child...please just take care of yourself & your baby right now & reach out only to the types of people I mentioned who can also care for you the way you need to be right now. My prayers go with you both. :)
It's a difficult situation because it's not just that you're pregnant, it's that you're pregnant with another guy's child. They may feel that if they get into a relationship with you, they'll end up taking some of the fatherly responsibility that that dad should be taking, and they may not be ready to do that for a child that isn't their own. A guy who really cares about you and will be understanding is out there somewhere, but it may take you a while to find him. It's possible that a single dad would relate best to your situation- you could try meeting guys through a single parents group. Good luck, stay strong!
Re: your comment on Butterfly Kisses' answer. It's not wrong to want that. Everyone needs love and emotional support, and you deserve it. You made a mistake, but you're taking responsibility for it, and that's what matters. There is NO reason why you shouldn't be looking for a partner during this difficult time, and there is NOTHING slutty about it.
However, on another note, if you find the right guy now that's fabulous but you also don't want your desire for it to cause additional stress and unhappiness. To make sure you do have support coming from somewhere, I recommend talking to friends and letting them know what you're going through and maybe joining some type of group for single moms (or just moms in general). My mom met a woman who she's still friends with 20 years later at a nursing class. Something like that might help you.
Being pregnant is a miracle your body is a vessel for a living person to grow. This baby is here for a reason and you should be focused on that. I was 21 when I became pregnant and my daughter's father and I weren't even in a relationship I got pregnant just over a weekend of fun. I was so scared and I thought I was going to be a single mother for years because I felt who at my age wants to jump right into father hood and father someone Else's kid. But I also choose to be the mother I needed to be for my baby and came to realize that I didn't need a men in my life to make me happy. Being a mom is without a doubt the best job in the world. Being a single mom wasn't always easy but it makes us stronger. I am now in a relationship for 3 years and he has treated my daughter like his own and we now have a baby girl together so there is always hope but remember until then you have to always put your baby first. Trust me everything will be fine being a mother brings so much joy and happiness.
I agree with diamond. your first priority should be your child - not finding a man. you will be a single mother and you should be focusing on how you will raise this child, financially, emotionally etc. having men coming in and out of your life is not in the best interests of the child. do you think they will be hanging around to help you raise him/her? I seriously doubt that. this will sound harsh but if you say being pregnant is the worst thing that could have happened to you in the sense that guys no longer want you I seriously question whether your fit to be a mother. it seems you do not want the responsibilities of a parent, and are only interested in your social life.
it seems like she is more concerned about having a man then a child. very sad
I am concerned about my baby. I love my baby and I want the best for my baby. BUT I WANT TO BE HAPPY TOO with a guy that will love me.
Maybe you need to be more realistic with your expectations. How many college guys, or guys in general do you think would want the responsibility of looking after a young mother and her child? No one is saying you can't meet a guy, but you can also get support from family/friends. Why don't you join a support group for young mothers in your community? Lastly, there is nothing wrong with being SINGLE. Stop valuing yourself based on whether you have a man or not. You have bigger responsibilities right now.
Don't be so slutty. Focus on becoming a mom instead of trying to find a boyfriend. Most guys won't want someone elses kid. It's your fault you're pregnant. Take responsibility and grow up. And I'm sorry if I seem mean, I'm not trying to come across that way, it's just, the fact is most guys don't want a woman pregnant with another mans child and hun you're just making yourself look bad by going out looking for guys while you're pregnant..
She's only acting on what her god-given instincts are telling her. Of course she wants a man by her side while she's going through this! Have you ever been pregnant? Probably not if you would call her "slutty" so easily. You have no idea how strong the pull & desire is for the baby's father. if he's not in the picture, it would be EXTREMELY hard. she's not a slut. I'm sure she's VERY focused on becoming a mom and providing for her baby. She's got emotional needs too, though! And that ISN'T wrong
Lol nope because I practice safe sex. And yes it is slutty to be pregnant and go out and expect guys to be all over you. Sorry but it is what it is. I'm just honest and don't sugar coat sh*t.I'm not going to lie to make her feel better.I mean I think it's wrong,she could try to work it out with the baby's dad and if not at least wait until AFTER she has the baby. Yeah it will be hard but that's what because is for. In these times theirs really no excuse for unplanned pregnancy unless everything fails
Birth control* not because. Ugh stupid autocorrect.
My opinion is you already are in a mess..Now isn't the time to be looking for someone else..You need to be looking for a child support lawyer and learn from this.
Try a dating website and chatting up people online. And let them know that you are pregnant and they can decide what to do at that point. Look for guys with children already or guys who are really into kids.
A girl I work with is pregnant with some other guy's baby and she now has an amazing boyfriend, so it does happen. Just be patient.
Should of not let it happen with the wrong person...just sayin... time for you to pledge allegiance to the republic of wealthfare. Look for a single dad I suppose.
since pregnancy weakens the immune system I think you wanna wait & stay with your parents until after the baby is born, then you can decide to look for a partner. That's what I think :)
Your boyfriend is an asshole!
And you're not of a sound mind either...
Don't you realize that the most important thing you should be focusing on is you and the decision you have to make, and not how to find another boyfriend! WTF is wrong with you?!?
And no one wants a girl that's already pregnant...think about it fgs!
Would you want a married guy with kids to be your next boyfriend? No? Why not? ...yeah...exactly!
Just deal with your own issues first!
I feel like you have no respect for yourself, like you're only happy when you have a boyfriend = which is messed up!
Do what you need to do FIRST (birth or abortion)!
I want to keep my baby. I just wanted a boyfriend I guess that's stupid of me. I'm just going to focus on making the best life for my child.
that is another guys son inside you and a lot of guys in college are not ready for that kind of thing anyway..
Your main focus should be on your child, not your love life.
Just focus on bringing a healthy baby into this world. So much to prepare for and focus on right no other than a guy. So stick with family and friends. The man will come later. Some men honestly love to see women taking care of children. When you go out shopping or taking your child to the park... look your best show interest in your child and a kind hearted man will find that very attractive. Nurturing is very attractive, a woman pregnant with a sexy top shows that your priorities are not in the right place. Congrats on your strength and your new addition to you life. Best of Luck!
You should probably wait until after you are pregnant, it will be much easier to find a boyfriend then. It's way to hard to date while pregnant unless you meet a guy whos into that (some guys are into pregnant women sexually). A lot of guys find it awkward to be with a woman with child if it is not his but are usually OK with it after the child is born. Try dating sites and try looking up men who are looking for families or serious relationships, it never hurts to search for someone with the same goals as you and who probably has a family so he is OK with having kids. I hope everything works out for you.
I can understand the amount of pain you would be going through right now,you just need the support and love of your family and friends at this moment.Spend most of your time with them and stop looking for a boyfriend at this stage because you are in the rebound phase,and you could end up being with the wrong person again as you are too desperate at the moment to judge someone properly.
Rebound phase?
visit this link for explanation of rebound phase: divorcesupport.about.com/od/romanceafterdivorce/p/reboundrelation.htm
you focus on you and you're child when it gets here.
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