Sexual Health
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Virgin, my girlfriend is not...How do I forget her partners?

So I really like my girlfriend.we have been friends for allittle over 2 months and over the past week we have started making out fairly heavily. I had her over my house and we almost had sex, but I didn't want to yet. She respected me not taking advantage of her. However then we got to the subject of me being a virgin and her not. I guess she lost hers to a 'mistake' as she put it and had another partner who broke her heart. I really thought that when we met she was a virgin, in fact it was her most attractive quality in my mind. When she told me we were lying next to each other her wearing only panties and me in my boxers, I let out a tear or two as I started to think about it but I told her nothing was wrong (I didn't really know why I was upset at the time). I also made the mistake of telling her that I loved her today, to which she replied that it was a bit early for that, but later said something along the lines of being able to see how I felt that way. I really do like her but I'm not so sure anymore. I can't stop thinking about what she did in her past (they were all within the last 6 months, I don't know exactly) She says that she has a lot more fun with me than her last ex, although they didn't have sex. I guess I'm afraid of becoming a mistake. I was also surprised how quickly she was about to give it up to me, although she claimed she's usually not like that. I'm not even sure if I want to have sex with her anymore, I though she was so innocent but I'm beginning to think otherwise, I'm really scared because I don't know what I would do without her, she's about the only thing keeping me going, and pretty much why I wake up. I know it would be nearly impossible to find a 19 yo virgin, but I just thought that we would have something special. I guess I'm just scared that she'll break my heart. I really don't know what to do, I really should have sex with her because she's probably the closest to a virgin ill ever have in my life and I really do care about her, our passion when we make out is amazing, but I can't help imagining her doing this stuff to another guy, him having his member in the same mouth as my tougne. I was actually making myself sick earlier by thinking about it. Im going to talk to her about it tomorrow, but I guess I'm just looking for some advice until then. Hopefully she'll give me some good news tomorrow.
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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think that if you care about this girl as much as you say you do, you need to understand that just because she's not a virgin, it doesn't make her any less special. she may have had sex before, but maybe she never really experience the real joy of love making. maybe you can be the first guy that she makes love to and it doesn't turn into a mistake. she may be as scared of you as you are of her and may be beating herself up over it now that she knows that you don't look at her the same way.

    i honestly, if it bothers you to the point where you can't even look at her, then maybe you need to reevaluate things, but if you truly care about this girl and see a future with her, then you need to not judge her for her past, but look hopefully at your future. she's not a whore; she just meets the wrong men.

    also, maybe she has a bit of a confidence issue and maybe rushes to be sexual with a guy because that's the only way they stay with her. maybe her issues are that deep and you can help her through that.

    and on a side note, there are a lot of virgins out there. some are just too 'embarrassed' to admit to it. I think that it's really great that you're waiting. I'm doing the same myself. even if the guy I meet isn't a virgin, I'd be happy to give myself to that person since they waited however long for me. you should probably consider that too. at least she wasn't a douchebag and left you because you're still a virgin. there are some assholes like that. that's a sign she cares for you too.

    i'm sorry, I'm babbling here. I hope it made some sense!

Most Helpful Guys

  • tbh I've had the same problem and she's my fiancee and it just started to hit me you know , and whats worse is i thought about her having the sex. I talked to her a lot about it and i just kept feeling terrible, but relationships are not about sex there about to people loving each other and if she's willing to love you and share that part of her life with you then so be it man. I had a lot of trouble and did research on it and talked it out with people and now i don't care about it because of one reason. she's with me and not them they messed up not me. people just need to be in our shoes to understand this and also its more of a protective thing you could be like me and be protective over the fact that she was hurt. just think about it man and you'll get through this

  • If you're going to last with this woman, you're going to have to learn to look past her virginity. It would be unfortunate to blow up a perfectly good relationship just because she slept with someone before. Most 19-year-old women have.

    By the way, if you had slept with someone before, should she hold that against you?

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 5

  • Get over it and realize that her experience may help your future sex life.

  • bro, if you're affraid of becoming a mistake, just don't do it. but if a naked girl is standing there and says lets do it.you best being doing it. lol

  • Dude, your dating a 19 year old. If the girl is older than 13 expect them not to be a virgin. This girl will probably not be your wife. And the girl that will choose to marry you will not be a virgin. So get your experience with this girl so you are not a virgin when you meet your non virgin wife.

    Have you had sexual activity before? If so then you are a hypocrite for judging. If you haven't had sexual activity before, then you have a right to be upset.

    • She is not good enough for you. Just use her for Sex and move onto the next girl. That way the next girl and you can be on the same level. That's what most guys, who are late bloomers would do in the situation. I did that to my last girlfriend and i feel great.

  • Screw her then dump her!

  • That's real tough, so much for that once in a lifetime gift on wedding night.

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