Are most men not sexually satisfied in their long term relationships?

I just in recent asked my partner if he was sexually satisfied with me and he said no. We have been together 8 years and I was under the impression that we had a great sex life. I’m not a selfish lover and I’ve tried different things to spice things up and keep it interesting. Nothing I do seems to be enough. I even asked him what can I do to make it better and he said “idk maybe I’m insatiable”. He said a threesome but I told him what can I personally do myself.. because that would be another woman satisfying him not me he got angry at me and doesn’t want to talk about anything further. He told me most men are not sexually satisfied with their woman but said it’s not like I don’t think you’re super sexy and turn me on etc. so I’m confused

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Most Helpful Guys

  • The main reason why men are not sexually satisfied in long term relationships is they get lazy. They automatically think their wife is suppose to give it up at the drop of a hat and they should not have to work at it anymore.

    Problem is, we know women are wired differently, and most often it takes more to get their motor running than ours. They need to have a connection, feel loved, and know their partner finds them sexy, whereas, guys are like the start button on cars, show us some interest (push the button) and we rev up real quick.

    Some guys think sex would be better/different with someone else, but I am a firm believer that sex can be just as good, if not better (perfected) with the right individual in a long term relationship.

    • Thanks.🤠

  • It’s all a matter of have you done and if you have done everything then it’s him not you and he’s wrong most men if their woman has done everything are usually satisfied. It took my wife doing something she never thought she would to satisfy me.

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  • Some long-term relationships turn practically sexless, and this will often keep one or both dissatisfied.

    As long as there is still a good amount of sex, I'd say most men will be satisfied.

    Some need a different parter after a while. The same applies to some women. Not all are made for monogamy.

  • I'd say usually most are satisfied

  • He's probably done so much hoeing in his life that his ability to pair bond is completely destroyed.

  • Should made a poll on who is satisfied, your partner is greedy if only a FFM can satisfy him.

    Are most men not sexually satisfied in their long term relationships?
    • I’ve literally tried so much I try to stay on top of my looks the best I can be pretty for him take care of my body and smelling good and having soft skin sexy outfits anal and anal play flirting complimenting him initiating toys music seductive dance whilst trying to not be overbearing to where it would be cheap Or generic attempts I just don’t know what to do I’m assuming the 3some is what would satisfy him TeMPOraRilY but only for a bit or sucks

    • Also I keep his belly full take care of the children and him the home work part time lunch packed for him and his work buddy everyday clean work clothes folded fetch his towel and shorts for shower meticulously do his laundry hang dry etc lol not that I expect a reward for it but nothing seems to satisfy

    • I don't think that it your fault, your partner is harder to satisfy than average man.

  • Some are, some are not. Some for women.

    I think a lot of people are not aware of just how wide a range there is in human sexuality. Its far more than straight / gay. Different people want / need different things to be happy.

    You need to talk with him and find out what he needs to be happy and what you need. See if there is enough overlap. Trying to force yourself to do things you don't want, will just lead to long term unhappiness.

  • It is not biologically predisposed for men to have a single sexual partner for their entire lives. This notion contradicts our biological instincts; however, individuals like myself perceive marriage as a higher purpose and, as a result, choose to commit and remain loyal to our spouses for this reason.

    Hence, it is crucial and highly significant for women to nurture the sexual aspect of their male partners instead of taking offense. To express love to your husband, engage in frequent intimacy, maintain your appearance, and keep the sexual experiences intriguing. Some women may feel offended by this suggestion as they don't share the same motivating factors or love languages. For instance, a woman who has had a stressful week might prefer discussing her emotions and feelings with her partner to feel loved, whereas a man might prefer receiving love and reassurance through sexual intimacy. Acknowledging these differences is essential.

  • The dude just wants to fuck other women, that's what he seems to be chasing smh

  • Did he have a past of casual sex? Because people that do that often can't pair bond well are it is common for them to be unsatisfied in relationships their whole lives. Once the damage is done it is very unlikely to ever be overcome for most people.

    The "wall" of being past 30, etc. ONLY applies to single women trying to start a NEW relationship with a good quality family oriented man. It has nothing to do with someone that is already in a committed relationship.

    Threesomes in my opinion are for people that prioritize/value sex more than emotions/love/feelings.

  • I'll be brutally honest, you're approaching the wall (age 35) and you're average, though I'd have to see more, that pic looks photoshopped and tons of makeup too. I'm honestly surprised he didn't get you into threesomes or BDSM earlier on, I know I would've. The more average looking a chic is, the more a dude is gonna want to have more women in the bedroom with them.

    He may be coming into his DOM role now and understanding what value he has. If he's bold enough to tell you he wants a threesome, he may already have hotter (and younger) options or one lined up that would do a threesome with you both.

    • I appreciate your honesty though I get complimented constantly (in real life) not based off of pictures and everyone thinks I’m much younger than I am.

    • You're not totally unattractive, but average compared to what I'm used to getting. You're a solid 6 with makeup on. That pic looks filtered too, would have to see more. Send me one in my DM without filters and I'll be brutally fuuckin honest. Typically go for slim, at least above average face and busty (at least full C cup). There's no way I'd stay faithful to only you when I have hotter options, he may be the same now. The fact that you turned down his idea for a threesome though, makes me think that you don't find him very hot either.

  • He sounds like the prob, not you!

  • I think if you had done so much for satisfy your boyfriend then may be he need another women in his life. Because some men wants multiple women for sexual purpose. And i seen you dp so i think you are gorgeous but still your boyfriend don't appreciate your effort then you can't do nothing to satisfy him.

  • I always have been.

  • Speak plainly, men usually do want a variety of pussy. A lot of men want to be able to sleep with other women. It’s always good to come to home base if the woman wants to accept that, however a lot of men would prefer an open relationship to be able to do that.


    Now to answer your question, yes. I would say a lot of men do become unsatisfied with there partners.. for me personally, I was with a partner for 4 years… she became super lazy sexually. Had firm “boundaries” and such when it came too doing sexual things. But expected the world when it came to my time and romance. She got comfortable and that’s what made it worse.
    If you get comfortable in a relationship women usually end up becoming very lazy. You don’t realize you have to keep a man interested. What you think you are doing to please him, isn’t always pleasing him. Some men will speak up others have such kinky thoughts (like the threesome, you shut down immediately) that they don’t even care to talk about it. Instead of saying what intrigues you with the threesome let’s talk about it.
    Most men, will be loyal by default, but since the feminism movement and women empowerment says she doesn’t need a man, men don’t put in much effort to stay around. Sucks for all people involved. But you need to force it out of him. Doing something out of the ordinary out of the norm and talk about stuff out of the norm that you aren’t comfortable with, if you do that. He will start opening up.

  • Most are satisfied as long as the marriage is good also. How can he not be?

    • Like I tried describing to him adding another woman in the mix after telling me I don’t satisfy him does nothing but allow another woman to try and satisfy him without letting me know what I can do

    • He really should listen to you and let you know what can happen. If you don't want another woman in the mix, then it shouldn't happen. He should be understanding. With how mad he got, I am kind of wondering if he already has a woman picked out. As I said, as long as your relationship is good, he should understand and talk to you about what you two can do together. Is your relationship good? Is he kind of pulling away a little?

    • Yeah that’s another thing I had made a post about he was texting a 19 yr old girl asking her if she wanted to have a threesome with us against my knowledge. He’s def pulling away even though I’m trying to remedy problems. I think it’s a dead mission I love him a lot but it’s showing quite obviously anymore he’s not as invested in this relationship or he’s just burnt out of me

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  • it’s not the sex but rather the emotional connection is where the satisfaction comes in

    • Well he tells me my intimacy makes him uncomfortable? I tried getting to the root of that but he won’t communicate very much so he says enough to have me wonder and complex and I try maturely speaking to him about issues so I can Work on resolving them and making him happy I don't know.

    • Tell him you want him to go to sex therapy. If he won’t then you’re not sexually compatible and he doesn’t give a shit and it won’t ever change. Personally I’d dump his ass

    • This threesome bullshit is just an excuse to fuck someone else

  • I'm not sure about other men. But I'm fully satisfied with my partner and relationship even of its sex or something else.

    • He is giving excuses so he can have a threesome. Don't fall for it cause he's trying to manipulate you

  • Yeah we aren’t monogamous physically just emotionally

  • So sorry

  • Um. For a little while

  • When I'm with married guys it's not that they're not satisfied, it's that their wives stop giving them sex.

    • What is that sex even like?

    • U can follow me if you’d like or pm me