Can men tell I am a complete freak despite being extremely quiet and shy?

Anonymous

Guys love to tease or be flirty or be jokey with me for no damn reason. I dress modest. But deep down I love dirty talk, just freaky. I'm very horny.

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Superb Opinion

SteveSmith1985 Influencer
1 y
Yep they can tell. Guys don't act that way with most "quiet and shy" girls. That's for sure. You're... dirty side is showing somehow...
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- Asker
  1 y
  It must be body language of some sort.
- Asker
  1 y
  Cause i dont have premarital sex or share sexy pics with anyonr.
- SteveSmith1985
  1 y
  Yes I can't tell you exactly WHY they are seeing this side of you if you're consciously hiding it. Also, I'm not saying that these guys think you're slutty or easy. That's not what I meant. I just meant that it's no co-incidence that they're being flirty with the shy girl who ALSO happens to "secretly" have a dirty mind. It's probably mostly in your reactions. If a guy is being flirty with a girl who's genuinely shy, she's going to blush, get awkward, and grasp for something to say that doesn't make her look foolish. I'm guessing that's probably not how you react 😉
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- Asker
  1 y
  So how do you think i react?
- SteveSmith1985
  1 y
  In a way that isn't obviously uncomfortable. In a way that lets the guys being flirty know that you're ok with this kind of joking, teasing and flirting. Put yourself in the shoes of any other "shy" girl you know. The reason a guy wouldn't try to joke, tease, or flirt with that girl is because however she reacts... it's clear that she's NOT ok with this kind of joking, teasing or flirting. So no guy (except creeps) is going to try and joke or flirt with that girl more than once. You do something that tells guys "it's ok, I'm cool with this". What exactly that is... I couldn't possibly tell you. But somehow, you are conveying that information. That's also nothing to be concerned about as long as you don't actually have a problem with how guys are acting towards you. If you DO have a problem with it. then please DO correct me because I've been operating under the assumption that you're fine with this, just curious as to how guys see past your 'shy and reserved' appearance.
- Asker
  1 y
  Nah I do not want that attention at all. I even have told one guy to stop talking about sex and he continued to hit on me at work for over a year. I may be a freak underneath but I do. not enjoy being sexually harassed. I guess I want a husband to be freaky with one day. But Idont want a bunch of men flirting with me. esp seeing as i dont have premarital sex. It is just pointless. I also dont want all the extra attention. Would you say a guy just being jokey with me a lot is a way of him flirting? Because thats another thing i have been trying to figure out.
- Asker
  1 y
  Cause i figured maybe all the guys sense i am a freak and that prompts them to be attracted to me enough to keep either being jokey or even playfully mean with me or outright flirting/hitting on me.
- SteveSmith1985
  1 y
  First, let me apologize because I definitely misunderstood where you were coming from on this. I'm really glad you corrected me. So, really, to me, what it comes down to is: it doesn't actually matter at all that you're secretly freaky. That's not really relevant to this equation at all. It WAS relevant when I was thinking you were a girl who was absolutely enjoying the attention, but just wondering how guys knew she had this freaky side underneath. The way I see it, this is basically a case of "I'm being sexually harassed why does this seem to continue to happen even though I don't do anything to invite it"? Isn't that really the situation here? The fact that you may happen to have some freaky fantasies about what you hope to one day do with your future husband... is really not in any way part of this equation. I don't see how it's affecting this situation. The fact that you secretly feel this way IS NOT something that's going to show if guys are being flirty and... you're uncomfortable about it. As for whether joking is flirting... that's... something that's impossible to anwer. It absolutely CAN be a way of flirting with a girl. It's a very common one. But it depends on the nature of the joking around. Usually if you're asking yourself "is this innocent, or is he flirting right now"... the answer is "he's flirting". I do NOT think that guys in any way can "sense" this secret side of you. Because if you don't like their attention, your 'freaky side' is NOT going to show. That being said... if you don't like the attention, and you're clear about that... Most (but certainily not all) guys will back off. I'm more inclined to think that you're simply attractive. In general? Is that the case? Also, is this something that's been the case in multiple settings for years? Like is this a new or old phenomenon?
- Asker
  1 y
  Sorry I guess I didn't understand to make that clear myself. I mean guys have called me attractive but i dont really see myself that way. Now i think 'ok i must be attractive to some extent' after so many guys started hitting on me unprompted or flirting or trying to get sexual with with me. But before all this attention, i dont think i ever really identified as someone 'attractive'. So its weird to even think of myself that way especially since i dont try to dress or seem that way at all. Its kind of a mind-screw. And yes this has started happening in college many years ago and has really escalated a few years ago when I started to get out into the world like getting a more full time job and be in situations of having to interact with people regularly in a grown setting. Guys approach me sexually either explicitly like 'you're hot/im attracted to you. Are you interested in me?' Type of thing or just calling me sexy or gorgeous out the blue. Or start talking about sex stuff to me or hitting on me. Or they keep trying to be around me by being jokey or playfully mean which has confused me for so long thinking they were bullying me. But now i am realizing they actually just want to be closer to me and that makes me wonder why they would because we dont really have interests in common and i am super quiet like why would they want to be friends with me out of nowhere. So im like 'are they attracted to me or something?' Most of the jokey stuff is technically innocent but the fact those guys will keep it up continuously even despite me often brushing it off or ignoring it makes me think its not innocent.
- SteveSmith1985
  1 y
  I am definitely beginning to get a sense of what's going on here. And honestly, my heart goes out to you. I genuinely feel bad for you. What is happening here is: You are very attractive. You are more attractive than you realize, and it's that which is at the root of the unwanted attention you keep getting. Don't get me wrong, it's really messed up that you're finding yourself constantly sexually harassed because you happen to be attractive. But that IS what's responsable for it. It is NOT that your secret 'freaky side' is being picked up by guys in any way. It sounds like growing up maybe you were 'ok' and so that's how you see yourself. But it sounds like when you weren't paying attention, you became very attractive over the past several years. Remember when I said something like "guy's generally don't hit on the girl who's actually shy. They know THAT girl isn't ok to being flirted with, so somehow guys can tell that you have this freaky side" Well that was when I misunderstood this situation.
- SteveSmith1985
  1 y
  So guys will flirt with the girl who isn't really shy but act like she is (my mistaken view of who you were). They will also flirt with the genuinely shy girl... if that shy girl happens to be extremely attractive. But this clearly is a mind-screw for you. I can see that so so clearly. You are someone who is not used to this attention, don't quite know how to interpret the intentions of guys who are showing you attention, and... ALL of it... is unwelcomed, unwanted attention. The fact that you at first thought these guys were bullying you... is both really really cute, but also a little heartbreaking. It suggests that you REALLY aren't used to being flirted with... and are totally not 'having fun' with guys who are joking around in a flirty way with you. It also makes me worry that you might be a bit out-of-your depth in fending off all these sharks. No that joking is not innocent. If you're not "joking along with them" then anyone who's just trying to be friendly is going to notice that, and stop. If you're brushing it off or ignoring guys who seem to keep joking with you... no, its not innocent. For sure it's not. I feel like you unfortunately are going to HAVE to develop some "hot-girl street-smarts" as quickly as possible. That makes me really sad to say because you seem like a super sweet, naive girl. May I ask what country you're from? I'm just remembering this girl I spoke to in Mexico awhile ago. It seems like it's a WHOLE other world down there. What's 'normal' behavior here (I'm in Canada by the way) and what's normal in Mexico were SOOO Different. It sounds like an absolute nightmare of sexual harassment and sexual assault... and... that's... just "how it is" (at least according to this one particular girl). It's acceptable for a guy to act like a pig towards women in a way that is TOTALLY unacceptable here.

Most Helpful Guy

ChrisMaster69 Master
1 y
Yeah a lot of the time you can.

the idea with flirting and teasing is looking to see if the other person will up the game.

with those who are naturally kinky, dirty etc, there is often a subconscious reaction to flirting and words used.

Also eyes etc often betray a person.
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- Asker
  1 y
  Its hard to evaluate oneself to see if I recall doing any of that. But I dont think i blatantly do or say anything ao it must be body language.

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 7

ohshee Master
1 y
To be honest I believe that you were probably the woman that every man desires somebody who is quiet shy but enjoys every type of sexual touch sensual sensation seduction, and slowed the passion at least for me that's the type of girl I'm looking for. Let me ask you can you feel energy from the moment you start talking with somebody will just rush through your whole body I think you should add me as a friend so I can send you a message or vice versa
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NathanDavis Master
1 y
sometimes
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- Asker
  1 y
  You cute for that.
- NathanDavis
  1 y
  sometimes, as well 🙃
Rudon00 Yoda
1 y
Same here. I'm also like that. lolol Gentleman and lady in the street but freaks in the sheet as they say.
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B4852 Yoda
1 y
Maybe some can, but not most. However I'm sure that when most find out they'll love it.
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- B4852
  1 y
  I know I'd enjoy it.
Slim57 Master
1 y
Yeah always the quiet ones
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lycanthrope3 Yoda
1 y
Love that in a girl
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Anonymous
1 y
They aren't going to know for sure without getting to know you. But we do know that there are women like this out there, so some guys will wonder or even assume. Just like how women will sometimes judge a guy without getting to know him, guys will sometimes to.
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- Asker
  1 y
  Yep I admit I have assumed how guys would be in bed. Which is probably fantasy.