Sexual Relationships
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His masturbation habits are making me extremely insecure?

My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s and we have been together for over 4 years. I recently moved in with him and discovered that he masturbates A LOT. Which is fine, he can do what he wants.. but at the same time, I feel like it means his needs aren't being met by me.. he knows I'll have sex with him anytime he wants. We have sex mostly everyday, at least once. Sometimes twice if he wants. But he masturbates while I'm at work. He knows I like to get creampied with huge loads, but he won't wait for me until I get home. By the time I get home, his loads are barely anything.. He literally masturbates all the time, like when I'm out, when I'm alseep, and even after sex sometimes. It makes me feel like I'm shit at sex and that maybe he just prefers his hand over my vagina. I do anything he asks during sex and I'm pretty enthusiastic about it. Could he just not like sex with me? Maybe my vagina doesn't satisfy him? He watches porn or reads sexy stories online, so I know he's most likely not thinking about sex with me during his masturbating.. what could be wrong with my sex?
0 3

Superb Opinion

  • I see this question asks a lot. The answer is no so sure that he is more than satisfied with you sexually. Just that the more and better sex a guy yes, higher his testosterone levels are and the more horny he gets. So he's probably thinking about you while you're away only way to make the hard-on go away is to masturbate. In case you don't know walking around with a hard-on is not very comfortable. So if you have a very attractive sexy girl friend who's giving you a lot of really good, then you can't think about sex a lot, with increased testosterone levels massive boners you must relieve yourself. It's nature oh, we were chatting radically engineer this way, we can't help it.

    • Yeah but why does he maturnaye so soon AFTER we have sex? Like within an hour or two after we fuck, he masturbates. I really feel like he's not satisfied. Can you please tell me about why he may do it after we have sex? I'm so sad over this and feeling like leaving the relationship.

    • *masturbate

    • And he doesn't think about me while masturbating. He watches porn.. :(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's going to be okay. I might understand you. See, I masturbate all the time too. Like 8 hours a day. I do it because it feels good. I had a girlfriend that would encourage me to "embrace it". Because it was something I like doing she used to say it was me. My masturbation habit, that is. It may not be the best move to encourage him to masturbate, but it might help if you embrace it. However, I don't think it's healthy to be in such a habit. At least not when a person masturbates 8 hours a day. Or all night. From 10pm to 10am, when I'm not having sex. And it will take some serious will power to break it. I'm sure he loves you. He's just addicted to sexual stimulation. And porn.

    • Does it mean my vagina doesn't feel great to him or that he prefers to masturnate instead?

Most Helpful Girls

  • It is possible he grew up with porn and finds that more interesting than the real thing.

    Or once I was told, I'm too much work... its easier to just do it solo than try to please me. Like really? you like that better?

    How often do you make the moves for sex?

    If it isn't too often, you may want to try initiating it instead.

    • I always indicate that I'm interested. We have sex every night. And I'm pretty easy to make orgasm, so I don't know if I'm too much work.. why does he maturbate after sex sometimes tho? I see that he cums inside me because it's in me and on the bed. I guess he's just not really into sex with me? Maybe my vagina sucks?

    • I doubt it sucks, he just seems weird and loves his hand.

    • Maybe he doesn't find me very hot?

  • He is in his 20s. Men that age can literally have sex like 5 times a day if they wanted to. At least he isn’t afraid to let it be known that he does it.

    • He only have sex once or twice a day. Why doesn't he just come to me if he wants more? He won't usually be up for fucking me 3+ times day. But he'll masturbate a lot. Sometimes he even masturbates a couple hours after sex.. does it sound like he really doesn't find my vagina that pleasurable or satisfying?

    • @asker you said he does it when you are at work, so how are you available to him at the very moment when you are at work? Is he giving you sex everyday?

    • He is. But he masturbates after we have sex too sometimes.. is that a bad sign? I know he cums inside me because I see it but I feel like I'm not satisfying him..

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What Girls & Guys Said

3 22

  • Not your fault at all, sounds like he has an addiction problem or something.

    • Yeah, I also think so.

  • its not you, its him. tell him to masturbate in front of you see what he says let it be apart of your situation. you and him maybe should be talking about it, really

  • Sheesh. You might have answered your own question. If he’s watching porn or reading sexy stories then of course he wants to unload 30x per day. I could say more but based on what you’ve said you won’t want to hear it - although I will say that, yes, since he’s watching porn, your vagina might not “be enough”. He’s giving you a lot to live up to.

    • Sounds like he has a problem, and your vagina is probably not the problem.

    • Doesnhe just not think I'm hot or something? What's going on? This is starting to make me feel extremely bad about myself and my sex life.

    • I have no idea if he things you’re hot. I can’t read his mind. That’s one of the many problems with porn - it creates very unrealistic expectations. Many people will disagree and that’s fine. Society tends to downplay porn. Society also also full of selfish, lazy, irresponsible idiots. There’s a lot more I could say about your situation, but suffice it to say that it sounds like he needs help and it sounds like neither of you are ready to actually be in a relationship. (That’s part of what you prob don’t want to hear; but you asked the question.)

  • He’s just super horny

    • agreed :)

  • Relax this is nothing to do with you. When guys are in their early teens all the way up into even the 40s we just like to jerk off it has nothing to do with so we can still have sex but we still want to jerk off I can't explain it but we really like it

    • Yeah, but masturbating even a couple hours after sex? That doesn't mean I didn't satisfy him if he's doing it that soon after?

    • It really is nothing that you can stop we just do this no matter what we're going to do this

    • That soon AFTER sex tho?

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  • It doesn't sound like you he just has an issue

  • It’s possible that he likes porn more because of the fantasy element. What kinda compliments does he give you? When he masturbates after sex how do you feel?

    • I feel like my pussy sucks if he masturbates after sex.. could that be what it means? He aways compliments me saying that I'm beautiful and hot and he loves sex with me, but I don't know if he's just trying to make me feel better.

    • If he says it too much yes he’s just making you feel better. What’s your pussy like? Same as in porn or diff?

    • Define him saying it too much? Lol

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  • Don't stress, talk with him just like you did in your question

  • Masturbation is only a problem if he turns down sex in favor of it.

  • Cage his dick so that he couldn't masturbate till you come back.

    • I don't want to have to force him. It makes me feel bad that he definitely doesn't choose to wait for me. He literally chooses masturbating over me and it makes me feel like my pussy sucks.

    • I want him to choose to want me on his own. And he doesn't. :(

    • Does he work somewhere?

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  • troll

  • It doesn't make sense why he would do that instead of you? It's not you. Your pussy would be better and the closeness of 2 people together, not alone.

    • Maybe it's possible that pussy sucks?

    • *maybe my pussy sucks

    • No your pussy doesn't suck, why would it? If it's clean and shaved any guy would love it.

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  • Try sending him naughty messages at work get him in the mood for when you get home

    • I've tried that.. could it be that he's not satisfied by me?

    • Say to him in text at work im really horny for you, i want you, ssave your loads for me tonight ;)

    • To answer your question im not sure

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  • Talk to him and tell about it

  • he may have a porn or sex addiction

  • Troll question.

    you anwer, you lose!

  • It sounds like he has an addiction to masturbation. Either that, or he has a fantasy that you can't fulfill (or can only be fulfilled in his imagination).

    In any case, you need to sit down and talk to him about it, make him understand that it bothers you, and makes you feel the way you described above. Don't stay silent, it'll start building resentment in you (if it hasn't already).

    • Is there something wrong with my vagina that makes me unable to satisfy him? Yes I already king of resent him. I'm thinking about breaking up. over this. He won't talk to me about it and it's starting to make me feel like not having sex at all.

    • He masturbates even AFTER sex sometimes.. I feel like my vagina isn't satisfying

    • Have you told him that you feel this way. You need to be direct and tell him that it really bothers you and you are not okay with it. Some people are not even okay with their partner watching porn, yet here he is blatantly masturbating to other women after having sex with you. Talk about how you can both work together to address the problem so that you are both happy. If he insists on continuing as he is now, even after you talked to him, then it means he does not respect you or value your feelings. That is suggestive of other problems beyond this in your future together, and you would be justified in ending the relationship. Communication, consideration, and compromise are very important things in a relationship. It is right to demand them of yourself and your partner.

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  • We men grow up jacking to porn and it’s a hard habit to break

    • This hard habit must not become addiction. That is the only thing I want.

    • Why does he masturbate after sex tho? I can see why he would do it if I'm not there but him doing it after sex really makes me feel like I'm not pleasing him. I'm seriously thinking about leaving him. He just gets mad at me when I ask about it and won't tell me anything else.

  • It’s him, not you, he has a problem, he needs to orgasm too much, you even said you are willing so that’s not the problem. I would never need to masturbate if I had someone like you, once a day should be fine, he needs to get a job and occupy himself other ways

    • Yeah but if I was good at sex or if I gave him good orgasms he would want to fuck me multiple times a day instead of masturbating. We only fuck once or twice a day and he still masturbates. I can't help but feel like I'm not satisfying him.

    • Maybe you need to have a talk with him, I thought maybe you were not always available because of work

    • And he masturbates AFTER we have sex too and he gets mad when I ask about it and he won't say anything to me. He literally just gets mad and shuts down. I really feel like I'm terrible and that I cannot satisfy him so I'm thinking about breaking up soon...

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  • Honestly in my opinion i think you are worrying too much he probably just really loves masturbating and besides if it really bothers you that much explain to him how you feel you have been together for 4 years i think you guys would be close enough to each other to express feelings without lying i wish you the best of luck

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