Sexual Relationships
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How can a girl make herself be able to cum?

OK my boyfriend was fingering me during sex and he kept saying "Are you gonna come for me?" then "Come on I want you to come for me.." so I was so nervous, I didn't know how to be able to let myself come for him? any tips? Thanks!
Updates:
+1 y
ok I changed the word Cum* like ten times and it still puts come.. so you get it lol I hope you do if your answering questions like this.. :)
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The way he asked me was not rude, it was more like dirty talk... :)
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Well for me I like when my boyfriend fingers me and I play with my clit because I can't come with just being fingered. So maybe try that. And while having sex my boyfriend is all about me cumming so I have to rub my clit for that too when we're in missionary to cum. Really just play with your clit and hopefully you'll come and stop being so nervous about HAVING to cum, its just pushing pressure onto the need to and I know for me, it phycs me out.

    • Yeah I acctually have done that with an ex and that was the only guy I have comed for. I don't remember if I was doing it at the time, but when I think about it I so think I was lol! so I just don't know if maybe this boyfriend would feel weird about it, probably not, he is way experienced lol

    • Lol. Well just try it and DON'T put too much thought in it because I know for me, it completely just doesn't let me come when I do.

  • tell him to stop being a d*** & if he wants you to come he should make you come. y can't make yourself come unless you play with yourself- is that what he meant or does hr think you can just will it. anyways tell him to play with your clit. or you play with your clit. most women get easy orgasms from that. by the way what did you say when he was asking you to cum?

    • He wasn't a d**** about it lol He is a super sweet guy. He even goes down on me but I still can't come so I don't know lol I have done it before with an ex though, and I don't know but this guy is 10 times better in bed and super sexy and I just get so nervous around him.. and I don't know why I can't.. I don't even remember if I said anything lol I was so nervous but it was good don't get me wrong.. when he was asking me it was more like dirty talk.. not in a bad way..

    • Ooohh OK lol I see yea I realized I may have jumped to conclusions. well I'm glad cause that would just suck if he was for real impatient lol Well you might be nervous because you like him in a real way. now mmm like I said clit is a power house for orgasm so you or him or both just get to focusing more thee than your hole. that should help a heap :)

    • Haha OK :) yeah if he was a d*** about it I would be like.. "get the f*** off me!" lol I wouldn't put up with that shiz! lol

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  • I know that I like to sink into my mind and be in the moment make myself think of enjoyment and extasy then I cum but it does take a while so don't worry and some girls are unable to so maybe you can't

Most Helpful Guys

  • He needs to learn to stop being so pushy. His incessant instance that you have an orgasm puts a lot of mental pressure on you and that in itself can inhibit a woman's climax. Tell him the more he pressures you to reach orgasm, the less likely it will be that you actually have one. He needs to learn that the ride is just as enjoyable as the destination and that fingering can be a very pleasurable experience even without an orgasm.

    • He wasn't a pushy about it lol He is a super sweet guy. He even goes down on me but I still can't come so I don't know lol I have done it before with an ex though, and I don't know but this guy is 10 times better in bed and super sexy and I just get so nervous around him.. and I don't know why I can't.. I was so nervous but it was good don't get me wrong.. when he was asking me it was more like dirty talk.. not in a bad way..

    • Ok so he wasn't being pushy but it still makes you nervous and it's still putting pressure on you to cum. Tell him you need him to cut out the dirty talk and make it a more relaxed and romantic activity.

    • It wasn't the dirty talk either lol that is a good turn on for me. I just don't know how to not be nervous around him, its been two months we been having sex and I am still nervous like butterflies in my stomach nervous.. Its really bad. I just feel like I could come but I was holding back.. from being so nervous.. so Idk. thanks though!

  • He should be paying a lot more attention to how you're reacting then he's spending talking. His constant demands that you have an orgasm could actually be detrimental to your ability to do so by making you concentrate on the moment instead of letting your body respond to him.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • close your eyes, have him push your legs open and imagine he's the hot movie start you like most.

    • Ha that's my problem.. I'm so nervous around him because he is way to f***ing sexy! to be 100% honest I would pick him over any movie star.. He is just unbelievably sexy.. maybe I should just be asking how to not be so nervous around him lol.. but its been two months, so I think I will be nervous forever...

  • A guy needs to have patience when trying to make a girl come, rushing her will only delay it longer.

    You need to be relaxed and have a clear mind, focusing only on the pleasure you are receiving

    • That makes sense! I guess next time I will try to be more relaxed and not so nervous, truth is I am so nervous around this guy ALL the time, I don't even know how I get undressed for him lol

    • To your update: he still shouldn't pressure u, take your time and relax that's all I can give you haha

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