How come if a guy fucks a lot of girls, it makes him more desirable, yet when a girl fucks a lot of guys it's a turnoff?

I'm not talking about relationship material, just pure sexually. But how come it's the opposite for guys and girls? Back in high school, there was this bully, big ugly fella, who fucked a girl. Knowing he did that apparently turned a lot of girls on, since about 7 other classmates (including me) suddenly thought he was nice and gave our virginity to him. Another example, at my cousin's wedding, there was this guy, a colleague/friend of the groom, who had this group of guys laughing, high fiving him while a picture of the bride and bridesmaids was taken. I thought he was an asshole when he first winked at me, but then I asked why he and his friends were laughing. Apparently he fucked all 6 bridesmaids in the past year and the bride a couple days before the wedding (yes it actually happend and I know that's pretty fucked up). I hated him but I just couldn't ignore that knowing that turned me on big time. At the party, suddenly all the girls were trying to talk to him, and yes, I got a little too drunk and let him into my hotelroom that night. I of course felt ashamed and hoped no one found out. Too bad the entire hotel heard us. So how come this turns me on? Is it something instinctive? Or like the forbidden fruit kinda thing? Because you know it's dangerous and "naughty"?
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Most Helpful Guys

  • Guessing?
    Most I've dated are not into guys like that, even though they accuse me of being one (not really my history).
    Gals seem to be clueless what's behind the guy's mask when he's trolling for sex, so look for the seal of approval from other gals, the more the safer or more fun he will be, certainly is gal attractant. Consider also that duck hunters employ decoys to lure prey in close enough... same idea.

    Guys want the one thing (at least) but even though she might REALLY take care of & know what she's doing down there, the bigger head wants the ego of being worshipped while rejecting all others as inferior + if she's a wife/mother candidate, her field hasn't been plowed to death, doesn't feel gay to be where so many other dicks have been + no one recognizes her from the past and then leers at her with naked & lustful memories while out in public... then later tries a covert date to relive old times.

    Agreed, not fair and should be changed

  • Evolutionary instincts.

    A guy who fucks a lot of girls has a genetic makeup that, if a woman has a son from him, could spread her genes far and wide.

    A girl who fucks a lot of guys, you might fuck if you could and take your crack at impregnating, but you would be unwise to get attached and invest resources in her and her family because of the high uncertainty if any kids would be yours.

    Those instincts have then been reinforced by cultural conditioning. If anything, most successful cultures traditionally tried to somewhat suppress the 'male sleep with lots of women' thing, by funneling all men and women (or all but a few prostitutes) into monogamous pairings.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Apparently the line of logic behind it is that guys are the pursuers, so if they get laid it's usually a testament to their attractiveness or their lady skills. On the other hand women are pursued so it's easy for them to get sex so it isn't impressive.

    Personally for me a guy who's had a lot of partners is always a turn off. Not a deal breaker tho.

  • Because since the beginning of time women are shamed for just being a woman. Men were always superior no matter what. I think anyone who f***s any thing that walks is a slut (men too) and want no part of it. With all the STDs in the world youd think people would think twice. Stupid is as stupid does.

  • "If a guy fucks a lot of girls, it makes him more desirable" since when?

    There is nothing desirable about fucking a potential walking STD. Not many girls love being just another girl.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • None of those things you said turned me on or would turn me on. What turns me on is someone who is respectful and sweet.

  • Because women have bad taste. I don't think it's desirable on either account.

  • I prefer virgin guys.

  • A woman can get sex by just asking a man, any man so it is easy, there is no challenge, no skill and no talent. She does not even have to ask, she can just sit back, wait to be asked and then decide. (Most women do not ask, they sit back and wait, I'm just highlighting how easy it is for most of them)

    A man has to pursue, he has to be chosen, risk rejection, improve himself, get game, get out there, push himself, dress well, have a good body and spend time, energy, money and have personality.

    This is part of why a woman that has been with a lot of men is not seen as the same as a man that has been with a lot of women. You will always hear the lock analogy as well.

  • Its not that how many girl he had slept. It because you are turn by knowing he know what to do and not afraid of it. You feel secure nothing wrong will happen compare someone who inexperience.

  • Am I the only one who knows she's just trolling? xD

    • Me too... Thinks the same

  • For 99% of girls it doesn't make a guy more desirable, you just have a fetish or insecurity issues, which make you want guys like that.

    • True. I 'like' how she assumes that all women are attracted to players or manwhores

  • You want the dominant male.

  • Women decide what is desirable in men and men decide what is desirable in women. Its not our fault you find promiscuous men more attractive. Those are your desires, we didn't force them on you. There is nothing that prevents you from refusing to settle down with manwhores the same way guys refuse to settle down with sluts.

  • The less experienced the better for me.
    I don't mind a girl who's been with a few dudes; but if she's been with loads it's a major turn off. Especially around my age. I'm still a virgin and I don't really wanna be another guy amoung many on the list.

    Girls like dudes who are experienced because generally speaking they're better.

  • Oh its just something called double standard

  • Stud praising and slut shaming.

    • Its nice to be praised.

  • Because men and women are different and want different things.

    • I don't want someone that sleeps around.

    • @MelbaB neither do I but most women want an experienced man that knows what he's doing. I would rather have met and married a girl years ago and had both of us learn about sex from each other rather the large numbers of sexual partners I acquired before settling down. Sex in a committed relationship is the best.

    • Yet, I actually wants a virgin for my first relationship. It wouldn't be so special that I've waited all along while he had his share of partners. That's how it was with my parents and maternal grandparents. They are still each other's first. I think that's a one of a kind love, you get to experience falling in love and both give in at the same time.

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  • Simple:

    If a guy fucks a lot of bitches he becomes cooler in the eyes of guys because it means that girls are spreading their legs for him. Similarly, girls see him as more desirable because a bunch of girls spread their legs for him, therefore there must be something of value to him, otherwise these chicks wouldn't have done it. "If sally, suzie, and Sarah all fucked him then I want to." Its called pre-approval, a common heard mentality trait amongst people who are too mentally weak to think for themselves.

    Conversely, girls are looked down upon for sleeping around because no guy attaches value to easy girls. They're disposable. An easy chick doesn't make a guy feel like he's beat out all the other guys because they're was a guy in there last week and another guy will be in there next week.

  • Simply put:

    If a man has a swarm of women around him, other women will want to know what makes him so special and will also surround themselves with that guy. That is why men who have pretty girlfriends tend to be hit on more often by other women... because they want to know what makes that guy so special.

    As for women... they are desirable my nature. They don't need swarms of men to be thought of as desirable. When a man fucks a woman... it is basically like marking his territory. I know that sounds messed up, but it's true. That is why men take it personally when a woman has a high body count. Most men are territorial about sex, and they don't want to have sex with a woman that has had sex with the entire neighborhood, it makes the sex less special and makes the guy feel like "he is next in line" and nothing more.

  • Both are great for short term, neither are good for long term. You should know that... Do you really need to ask this question again?

  • Nice trolling

  • Because women like to think that they have the last say in who they decide to sleep with.
    So the guy got a bunch of women to "decide" to sleep with him, but the girl just "decides" to sleep with whoever.

  • This is society.

  • Your type is the reason men are assholes, the reason men keep being shitty, because it works. I hope you never complain about men being trash, because you the reason they are.

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