Sexual Relationships
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How do I control myself to not orgasm?

I’m so tired of having an orgasm so fast during sex or even simple make out. My boyfriend doesn’t need to do much work for me to reach it. Today earlier I had 4 orgasms during sex and It was good I’m not gonna lie but then I ended up getting upset that I’m not like those girls that need at least 30 min of foreplay or whatever to orgasm and they can enjoy making out. My boyfriend said I am being silly to think this way but Is there a real way to control myself longer?
4 7

Most Helpful Girls

  • I think it's an age thing. I used to be the same.
    When you are younger you're freer and the hormones and excitement are at an all time high.
    It's the rush of doing something new, and something a little "naughty" the guy is just as new to this so there's so much to explore etc.

    I've come full circle my libido is next to nil. I have had my heart broken so many times, let down and disappointed so much, I'm grieving two different griefs.
    I get the urge 1 or twice a month maximum. Simply because it's hormone related.

    Yea I'd like to indulge but the thing is people are so unstable that I can't even be sure id meet someone that actually wants to be with me for me anymore. I mean women are being spiked by injection in clubs now, since we're protecting our drinks better.

    I don't say this to put a dampner on things.
    Enjoy it, the beauty of being a woman comes with so many perks and multiple orgasms are one of them.
    Try different things and try to intensify them or lessen them, maybe try bringing yourself to one then stopping only to start again and watch how your body reacts.
    Maybe just focus on your partner and see how that goes. If its really a bother to you.


    I personally don't see the issue.

  • Same way you get better at any thing else. Practice. Dedicate some time once a week or so to practice bringing yourself to the brink then backing off before you get the the point of no return. over and over again. Each time push the limit a little further. Won't seem like much at first but as you practice you will find that you can hold off the orgasm longer and longer. But when you do finally accept it (or lose control) it will last longer, and hit harder than before.

Most Helpful Guys

  • I think it would be really helpful to consult with a sex therapist if possible, because there would be many factors involved, and how to go about this would be particular to your personal experience... for example, orgasms for you could come "too easy, too quick, too many" so it could be mostly a physical or physiological factor, and maybe you're oversensitive as well, before, during or after...

    and then yes, there's a few ways to go around it, but how to do that would be about the details in particular, so this, involves to ask yourself many questions and to pay attention to a few things... what some other users have mentioned here can be part of a solution or something that helps the situation, that is the edging and stopping...

    for a much better and detailed explanation maybe read this article that has the experiences of few people that are in similar situations...

    https://www.vice.com/en/article/3kgdyn/not-so-fast-women-who-have-premature-orgasms-explain-how-they-deal

    • Very helpful thank you so much, I’ll read it.

  • You should really consider yourself lucky. There are people out there that physically cannot orgasm. For you to be able to cum from just making out is a gift. I know I would enjoy that gift if I was your partner

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • there's nothing wrong with many orgasms, the morre the merrier! the more orgasms you have the better they will et I suppose

  • For a woman, that’s a better problem to have than the other way around. Multiple orgasms are actually very healthy as it puts lots of oxytocin out for the brain so you connect with him better and releases physical stress on the body.

    Do you cum more from clitoral or actual deeper vaginal penetration which is still clitoral but more getting at the Gspot (the back side of the clitoris)?

    Depending on which one, there will need to be a little less all at once stimulation of that particular area and more drawn out. More mental focus on slower enjoyment and connecting with him until you’re ready to explode. That makes the orgasms more intense and better too.

    • Both work for me but i orgasm even when we’re just kissing and touching each other :/

    • Well, that’s ok. It’s not much different than premature ejaculation in men which isn’t bad either. Are your orgasms intense such as vaginal and full on pelvic contractions or are they more-less mini orgasms? It just takes some time and patience with your body. If you feel like it’s getting too close to the edge of losing control of your body to cumming, then slow down a bit, look at him in the eyes, tell him you love him and just focus on him. While still remaining romantic and sensual, you are just switching thoughts (changing channels) for the moment to change the stimuli occurring in your brain. As you train your mind (being that it’s the largest sex organ in the body) you will then notice over time the ability to control how fast your body reacts.

    • Thank you so much this is helpful :)

  • Please never say shit like this again.
    Ever.
    Stop.
    You dont need to last longer..

  • I don't see any problem at all. I think you're lucky and, if I was your boyfriend, I be delighted.
    If you could only have one orgasm and then had to stop, that would be a problem. But the fact that you can orgasm easily and often is awesome.

    I had one girlfriend who was hypersexual and orgasmic. She could orgasm from tittie play. But then she wanted to fuck.
    She would orgasm over and over during sex. I found her looks, sounds, movements, enthusiasm, craving desire, and encouragement so erotic that I could cum, stay inside her and just slow down for a few moments until the sensitivity in my tip dissipated, and then pick up the pace again. There were times when I came 4 or 5 times over a period of a few hours without ever pausing to rest or recharge. I just recharged while fucking her. And she would orgasm over and over. She was truly inspiring.

    So be careful what you wish for. Celebrate your gift.

  • If you really want to learn how to control yourself better, your best bet is to practice edging.

    It will help you build stamina, and prevent you from reaching orgasm too quickly, with the added bonus of making your orgasms more powerful and satisfying.

    • Sounds great and like what I really need

    • It will really help a lot. I've been doing it for years, and I can pretty much last as long as I want.

    • Wow! Amazing

  • Wow, 4, I'm still not understanding the problem. Why is the problem again, lol?

    • I never said it’s a problem. I need help with controlling myself to last longer and have one orgasm instead of multiple ones.

    • Gosh I don't know maybe figure out if there someting in the foreplay causing them to happen sooner, too much nipple or clitoral stimulation maybe?

  • What you seek is called 'edging'... allowing yourself to repeatedly get close to climaxing and then backing back down only to seek yet a different set of sensations to take you back up, over & over... til your body internally 'screams' for release. I've foreplayed with companions who actually faint or temporarily look as if they're convulsing and become quite erotically vocal. "Music of the spheres" you might say... 'Lovely' ~

  • Your guy should be able to read you up to a point and feel when you are getting close.

    Its then a case of Pulling you back from it.

    you do need to work out what makes you cum, there are a number of things that push people over the edge, not just physical stimulation, but also emotional, such as a desire to please, some can cum knowing they are doing what is expected.

  • Yes but why
    I absolutely love with a girl comes fast because I'm going to keep going cuz I want her to come again and then I want her to come again and each time it's one of those orgasms is more and more intense I mean absolutely beautiful do you like to have more than one orgasm or are you just a 1 orgasim girl there's a lot of girls that only like to have one orgasm but if you like three or four that's even better

  • This isn't unnatural. If it really bothers you, you can try to masturbate a few times a day/at least once a day for a couple weeks and see if that brings down sensitivity. If not, there are some numbing gels specifically for this you might try.

  • When woman can orgasm multi times, without cause to stop, how is this an issue? Why cause a problem with there isn’t one? Good post hit count though. ; )

  • I used to just go on really long masturbating sessions all day to tire myself out and eventually my body learned how to hold off a little longer

  • Dude, that's awesome. You're super sensitive. Not a bad thing at all. It's how sex should be.

  • You're sad that it's not a struggle to even get close to reaching an orgasm? It's not just that it takes time, but also so much effort to find the right technique, sequence and combination of stimulation each time (because the same stimulation might not work every time). Don't know why you would want less pleasure and I don't think there's any way to change how your body reacts. Count your blessings instead of glamorizing other people's struggle and frustration.

  • Please, please... don't try to control anything that starts with "O"! That should be the first thing a guy would LIKE about you!!!

  • I'll have think on that one, most women would love to have that problem.

    • Why? They’re also enjoying on their own

  • I agree with your boyfriend. But I think it's about pacing yourself.

    • It’s for self satisfaction.

    • What do you mean?

    • It’s hard to explain it but more of a personal and sensitive matter.

    • Show All

  • Kegel exercising

  • It's called edging. Work yourself up where you're almost ready to cum and then stop for a bit and then continue. Keep doing this several times until you really want to cum. It will be very enjoyable.

    If you're masturbating, that's pretty easy to do. If you're with a partner, tell him you want to delay cumming so that it's the most intense, and let him know when you want him to stop or slow down.

  • Consider this a blessing. It's good for your relationship that you aren't so picky. Some days will be tiresome and low energy. At least this way you are both satisfied

    • It’s blessing sometimes not always

    • do you not enjoy cumming multiple times?

  • Show More (66)

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