Sexual Relationships
+1 y

How do I convince my man that he doesn't have to feel bad about turning me down for sex if he's not in the mood or too tired?

How do I convince my man that he doesnt have to feel bad about turning me down for sex if hes not in the mood or too tired?
I was massaging my man on the bed. After he rolled onto his back. I press up to him to massage his shoulders. Not being able to resist (this was just supposed to be a massage) I started kissing and suckling his neck ears and moving downwards. I was half way to his navel when I realized he's rather still. So I looked up and I knew. He's not in the mood. He reached for my cheek and caressed my face and stroked my hair. "Not tonight" I whispered he shook his head "tomorrow we'll find time" I smile and kissed his hand. then I cuddled up and laid my head on his lap. We laid their a while gently idly touching but I look up and I can tell he's thinking. I ask "what" and he responds "nothing im just too tired" "its ok im fine" i tell him but he only half heartedly nods. And I know he's feeling guilty & I hate that. Now I feel guilty for having the medical condition called Hypersexuality. Its really not his fault for rejecting me. Well perhaps rejecting is too strong of a word. He gives me a rain check. He's the normal one. Im abnormal. He shouldn't feel bad. Yet I know he doesn't want me to feel bad either because he has told me repeatedly my condition doesn't offend him. He calls me crazy if I ask him if he's tired of me (as A joke I ask do you want to trade me in for a better newer model). he says I ain't trading you for no one and he's tells me he's fine with me taking care of my condition (I dont step out or stray and I dont sext others) I can masturbate without judgement. I can read as much exoticas as I need to I can watch as much porn as I need to I can write as much sexual things as I need to. He doesn't mind these things. he does understand the need. once he slipped up & admitted he worried he wasn't enough for me. ☹️Would you believe your partner if they tell you they are ok with being told not right now, later or tomorrow. And how do you convince yourself that your partner isn't tired of or overwhelmed by your sexuality.
Updates:
+1 y
I just figured I'd add I am younger than he is We are 30+ years apart and once or twice in the beginning of the relationship he slipped up and admitted to worrying he would not be enough for me. he does satisfies me my issue is that I am just quick to restart And my previous relationships left me with some scars and complexes cuz they were not understanding and rather mean about my hypersexuality
+1 y
My first sexual partner was the meanest I was too young & too naive to know any better ONE (there was more) of his ways to deal with it was pushing me towards the side of the bed near the wall & making me face the wall he called it "time out for the nympho scank." He turned out to be a sick twisted prick.
1 3

Superb Opinion

  • I don’t think the issue is you or him.


    Don't get me wrong you do have a legitimate condition that has legitimate pros and cons depending on how you view it. That being said for the both of you its a known issue and you both seem to have pretty solid Communication about it.
    The one thing I would say to you is that if you feel he’s feeling guilty then kiss him lightly and tell him you love him and that not to worry to much.


    To be honest I think that you’re doing just fine, and you’re unsure about talking with him about things because you’re still nervous about the subject, but keep in mind you’re his other half just as much as he is yours if you don’t communicate with him and visa versa then the relationship will struggle.
    Like i said you both i feel have done a great job at communicating and being open with each other so don’t be afraid to let him know in way of reassurance that its okay, let him know that its okay for him not to want to, and that you love him no matter what.


    Guys and girls no matter how old we get are still insecure little children at heart. Its part of the human condition that we grow up, but just because we grow that doesn’t mean those feelings of insecurity grow completely out and disappear.
    In relationships it’s important to recognize that and solve those issues by reinforcing the good things and talking about the bad. That being said im sure he just loves you and worries as we all do for our significant other.
    Simply confirm his concerns and make him feel secure my telling him your true feelings and that you love him you’ll be all good.



    Like i said though you’re in a good relationship and you both seem to be able to communicate just fine and when concerns pop up your talking with him letting him know its okay.
    Stay the course and as long as you’ve told him its okay and you’re honest about it then i feel you’ve done all you can. If you see it’s still effects him talk with him more and affirm to him again that its okay.


    I think you’ll both be just fine as long as you stay the course and keep the lines of communication open as you are doing.


    Well that’s my true opinion on the matter and I hope it helps you in someway.

    • Very well said. This dude should get MHO.

    • Thank you for the support.

    • You're welcome!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I love that pic! It's perfect for this :)

    But I'd say... You can make it up to me later. Actively try to help him to feel better by getting asprin for him and asking what he wants to watch. Saying again, we can be intimate later... You rest now and let's just enjoy a show of movie together while I rub your head. Just be supportive and reassuring. Be thankful that he wants to try and tell him you are thankful for trying but we can wait and let's plan for another time

    • Thank you I looked at so many pictures i loved this one the best Thank you for the advice

    • Welcome :)

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 20

  • You want to say to him you feel very comfortable to be very close in intimate ways with him without it having to turn into something sexual.

    Or you just feel like you want to worship his body without having to endup having sex.

    • I like that response sounds really good to me I do have a tendency of just cuddling and touching him and I'm all right with it not leading to sex

  • When you feel you see that in his eyes just cuddle up to him and kissy inside I know you're tired will do this later and I got a big surprise for you

  • I would believe her, but I would feel bad because I wouldn't want to deny her that. As long as she is always open to me about how she feels, I'm good.

    • Thank you for sharing the compassion you expressed about being disappointed in having to deny the girl is on point. Its good to see that emotion because it means you care And On the flip side I appreciate his emotional response to me but I hate that he feels bummed Its like a compassion cycle He feels bad then I feel bad but in the end I know its because we care

    • Right. which is why communicating with your partner is extremely important. A lot of people don't, and there lies many, if not most, of all problems in a relationship.

  • you are a nympho you mean. What happened to your first guy? He died from over sexation.

    • @bidensucks2020 you are terrible

    • @Rockys92 sure perv

    • From the opinions you gave in other questions, looks like you are mad as like Trump... Pervert

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  • Show him through your actions

    • You mean be nice keep a smile and Definitely do not get mad? Yes good advice actions do speak louder I usually keep a positive face once in a while My emotions get the best of me and I'll excuse myself because I know the tears are coming... But him saying no isn't the main reason for the tears... When that happens is when Im feeling insecure about myself... Those damn harsh words my exs said to me tend to sneak out and repeat... And i have to go away and battle against the cruel memories and lock the back up.

    • I'm sorry to hear about you're exes, if it is any comfort, which it probably shouldn't be, if that is you in your profile pictures, you have absolutely nothing to be insecure about, you are very beautiful. What I meant by show him through your actions is treat him with dignity and respect, do take cheap shots at him when it is really easy to, also it's important that you communicate what you're feeling and how it brings about insecurities when you don't get the attention that you need. For what it's worth.

    • Yes the pictures that I have posted saying they are me are mine and yes they are me lol I have to say I've never taken a cheap shot at any man even when they've made me angry and even when they become an ex I definitely talk to him but sometimes it helps to get an outside View more than one person telling you the same thing helps

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  • Uh... sis you may want to read this. Girls, If he doesn't want sex, something is wrong!

    • I'm sorry but you're incorrect He has a normal healthy sexual drive you are comparing him to a person who has a hypersexuality my hypersexuality out beats a healthy normal average man any day. you might want to look into the term it is a real medical condition and you might want to take a survey symptom test yourself and see if you fall into that category. You may have a hypersexuality disorder too and quite honestly it's okay to be hypersexual it's how your address the condition and handle it that makes the difference.

    • Lol okay sis

  • It sounds to me like you guys have a really great relationship. So don't worry so much, okay?

    • Thank you

    • You're welcome! 🙂

  • Just let him know that he is a great husband and you love him unconditionally. Hypersexual plus you are at the age of your sexual peak.

    • Thank you I'll keep my chin up

  • can't answer. in my case, he's the one who always start it, and it's only when he want it

  • Sounds cool actually. You guys have an understanding with each other.

  • Nice pic for the question

    • Thank you I loved the irony in it Usually he chases her

    • What a creep

    • Ur ex

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  • Wish i now girl have a hard time convincing my girlfriend that just because I don't ejaculate that doesn't mean the sex is bad or that I don't enjoy it

  • @meetkitty123 your sex buddy is 30 years older? I think his libido would naturally be lower than yours bc of the age difference. whats ur sex drive like? how often would you like it to occur?

  • Well I hear women are horniest in their 30’s so you wouldn’t be alone. As for him being 30+ years older, that’s just kinda how it is. Vastly reduced sex drive.

    • He too has a hypersexuality disorder. With age sex drive slows down naturally but with someone who has a hypersexuality disorder the age makes you have a normal sex drive for a person half your age. If we were the same age we probably would never leave the bedroom. MAJOR UPDATE: I was chatting on gag my man asked me what I was doing I replied bragging on you. After show him an example he detained me and deliciously tormented me from 11:45-4:20 almost 5 hrs. there's nothing wrong with his sex.

    • Glad things worked out 👍

  • Tell him it happens to all of us, but you better make up for it tomorrow ;)

    • 🤣 Very true it happens And Dont worry I will definitely request he make up for it the next day 😉

  • I would believe my partner if she tells me that she is okay with being told not right now. In a relationship it's natural for one or both the partners not in mood or too tired for intimacy.

    How to convince myself, 🤔🤔🤔🤔, I don't know, maybe try new and adventurous things in bed. Try having sex in different places, positions, using various toys, reading erotica to each other, massaging, flirting etc.

    I don't really know what is the condition called hyper sexuality

    • Its a real medical condition where you have a heightened need to express your sexuality and partake in sexual activities It has seen many names Most common is "Sex addict" but using this term has negative stigma and I do not feel it best describes me because I am not promiscuous Many with the condition tend to be reckless and take many lovers fortunately that is one characteristic of the disorder I do not display But I also believe I must thank my strong religious upbringing that keeps be from being loose. Though it is also my strong religious background that makes me feel rather guilty.

    • But you are a faithful person with good self control. ☺ Thanks for sharing

  • Would he be willing to let you have loverd

  • Exactly the same thing with me... I also suffer with supersexualty thing and I am almost horny all the time.. I love to fuck, to masturbate and to watch porn... My partner also feels sometimes that she is not upto the mark... But I try to convince her with love and care that it's not her fault anyway.. it's me who always horny and want to fuck...

    By the way... You write so good... So good indeed... You should write an erotica book and I will purchase surely ;)

  • Might be he would be stressout with work so he jus turned back dnt give up keep on trying different ways to make him hard more n more

    • Do. U get proper satisfaction?

    • Thank you I won't give up

    • Thts sounds good dear... But do u get properly satisfaction? It's all chill dnt feel nervous after n all its human natural need...

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  • Its too hard

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