How do I cope when my boyfriend tries to manipulate me for nudes?

I'm 17, turning 18 in a week. I had a large argument with my boyfriend, who is 19, about the fact that I don't send him nudes. His last girlfriends did it, frankly I don't give a shit, but he tries to use statistics about how many people do itand this kind of threatening behavior to make me send nudes. He claims it's because we don't hang out in person (we do once a week, I have a difficult living situation). He says that it's an aspect of our relationship that he craves, to see my "beautiful body". Personally I don't want to send nudes, I have before and it was the lowest shit I've done. I told him that for one, it's f*cking illegal because I'm 17, for two I have self respect. He doesn't care apparently. I'm scared to break up with him because when he gets mad, he gets mad-mad. He's killed my confidence over an effing Warzone game, loses his shit when I don't text back fast enough. And he lives down the street from me. I don't know what he would do. He already says if I broke up with him, he would come to my house and berate me. I don't want to do it. Maybe I'm just not a good girlfriend. But I need help.
0 4

Superb Opinion

  • This dude sound very manipulative and controlling. If you don't want to send nudes, don't. He needs to get over it (he won't).
    Pull a picture of a naked body off the Internet that looks like you and send him that.
    Then break up with him. He is only going to get worse.
    Tell him if he tries any bullshit, you'll report him to the police for having child porn on his phone and that even if he deletes it, you can show the text messages where he coerced you (a minor) and that you sent it.
    OK, seriously, I'm not advocating this, I just thought it was funny. He's not a good guy and you need to get out of that relationship. Let your guardians know why so they can deal with him if he shows up.

Most Helpful Guy

  • The problem isn't that your a bad girlfriend, it's that you've gotten with an asshole of a boyfriend. You should kick him to the curb immediately, and let him harass someone else. He is manipulating you and threatening you, and that ALONE should be MORE than enough to end your relationship with him.

Most Helpful Girls

  • if you don't want to send him nudes and he keeps asking then break up with him since he doesn't respect you

  • Tell him to F off. Even if you are 18. He does not need them

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What Girls & Guys Said

1 38
  • Stop being his girlfriend and move on. He will hurt you in the future and he doesn't love you since he is already manipulating you to send your naked pics

  • I disagree with you.
    You don't need help, you need a better boyfriend. One that doesn't pressurise you into making extremely poor decisions.
    Let him go round your house... Only tell him to give you advance warning so you can have the police there to arrest him

  • NEVER SEND NUDES.

    His asking for them is simply an indication of how immature he is.

    DUMP HIM. You can get better. You deserve better.

  • You dump him and find a boyfriend who cares about your feelings. His behavior is way over the line.

  • You ditch his ass.

    Tell him you're not an onlyfans account for him.

  • You need to break up with him. He sounds like a toxic fuck and you should never waste any time with people like that, even being alone is better.

  • You block him and dump him.

  • Break up.

    Look, lets pretend you WERE 18. In that case, tbh, i think wanting some sort of sexting relationship if you don't see each other regularly is pretty normal, and i can see a partner both being disappointed if you wouldn't, and also disappointed that you didn't want to. So his desire... is pretty normal, and thinking about how you can have a distance sexual connection is something to consider for your next relationships (sending nudes is not the only alternative)

    But his behavior outside of that has red flags all over it.
    "hen he gets mad, he gets mad-mad."
    "He already says if I broke up with him, he would come to my house and berate me. "
    Get out of this relationship. These are absolute 100% dealbreakers.

  • You need to break up with him. If you are afraid of what happens when he gets mad, that is reason enough. Pressuring you to do things you don’t want to do is reason enough. Let someone know (a parent or adult friend would be ideal) that you are afraid of his reaction and, if necessary in order to be safe, have that person come with you when you break up.

  • You need to break off all communication, yes sending nudes are a high risk, and if he shares with his friends, they could even end up on the internet, If the last you can do is send the police then do so, also you deserve a boyfriend who treasures you and doesn't just want nudes off of you and I'm sorry your up against this (( Hugs )) :(

  • You shouldn't stay with him through fear. Get out now.

  • He seems to be not caring at all about you or your wellbeing. H is very selfish, nd he be really harming you mentally.

    You shouldn't be scared. Tell him he is very selfish, nd break up with him before he has done enough of mental harm to you and your confidence.

    You dont need to be scared... such people mostly just are angry foolish dogs... they just bark, but almost never bite.

  • Tell him to fuck off.
    There. Fixed that. :)

    No girl in her right mind sends nudes of herself to any guy. He shares them around with his buddies for a good laugh, then one of them posts them up on the internet. And when he's bored he jerks off to them. Such silliness. And a giant fail.

  • First of all, if you do ever send them. Never send with your face showing or any defining features like tattoos/scars/birthmarks. Just in case they do get leaked.

    Secondly, 😑 fk that mofo. He is a douche and does not deserve you. Have a few friends, male or female hang out with you when you dump him. And if he tries anything, please remember that him bullying you IS against the law. A literal crime.
    Press charges. It might seem like a pain to do, but it's better then being stuck in a toxic relationship that could end up getting you killed.

    I hope the best for you.

  • You need to involve older men and women this know you both. He might be able to be set straight, but either way you'll need more than a simple no to get him to to leave you alone.

  • See my response to your other question.

    He's trash. Dismiss his ass.

  • Break up with him. If he's trying to manipulate you, then he doesn't deserve you or any other girl for that matter. If he does try to come over to your house, then just lock the doors and windows and call the police if he refuses to leave.

  • That dude has some serious issues and props to you for standing your ground. He's not gonna keep asking, so I say dump his sorry ass.

    And what statistics is that numb nuts referring to? Id call bullshit on that if I was you.

  • If he tries to manipulate you for nudes, he's not your boyfriend but a mere porn peddler if anything.

  • Maybe do it on special occasions once you turn 18. Tell him if you decide to send your first one. that you were waiting until you were legal so he wouldn't go to jail for having them. The other option is to send teasing pictures once you're 18, like in your panties and a bra or an arm bra, stuff like that.

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