How to handle a higher sex drive than your partner?

Question

I love my partner, and I am very attracted to him. He gives me attention and seemingly enjoys the sex as well. However, I find myself craving it more than he does. I don’t want him to feel like sex is the only important thing to me, and I don’t want him to feel like we have to have sex if he isn’t in the mood, even if I am. What is a good way to go about fixing this?

p. s. I know “alone time” would be a great option, but i’m not great at it, and it’s not even near as satisfying

NamerOfStars · Accepted Answer

Well, the obvious thing is to talk to him about it- but I'd suggest that first you sit down with yourself and ask just what it is that you want, what it is you'll settle for, and what you'll do to get it. Think of where he is and where you (collectively) are- if you only see each other once a week, after he finishes a 12-hour line shift, he simply might not have the energy. And exhaustion can be mental, as well as physical- a 12-hour research shift in the library can be just as draining. If that's a problem, then rearranging schedules can help.
Now, one of the issues with PIV is that it places a sizeable strain and fatigue on him- one that a guy is usually glad to take on, most of the time, but a strain nonetheless. If some oral or digital action would satisfy you, that's much easier (I've gathered that it's something a lot of young people don't bother with much these days, which is a pity; it's easier to feel what you're doing with a hand than a penis, and being able to focus wholly on your partner is nice sometimes- to say nothing of what you can learn for the future); and there's something... rebelliously naughty, in a "forbidden fruit" kind of way, about sneaking a hand down her pants and fingering her while you're supposed ho be watching the movie, even when you're both 27 and sitting in your own living room alone.

Another option might be to get some remote-controlled vibrators and let him have the remotes, letting him stimulate you without any direct physical contact, and add a bit of a teasing element to your interactions. Come to think of it... Years ago, I remembered reading about a video game caaled "Rez", I think, that aimed to introduce elements of synesthesia by adding what was essentially a small rotary vibrator peripheral to the console; the usual crowd of dolts claimed that it was "to amuse your girlfriend while you were playing the game", but it would astonish we if no one thought to make some kind of adapted program for that purpose. And if you could get a hold of a full-blown force feedback system... Anyway, that's a job for a horny electrical engineer, not me.

My point is that with some creativity, you can find ways to bring some sexual fun into stuff that's not directly sexual, or more gently so. That's assuming, though, that this isn't distaste on his part. I don't know why it would be, but if he genuinely doesn't WANT more sex with you, all the tricks in the world won't help. Try to pin down the pcoblem, think of some muhually agreeable solutions, and go from there.

EyeKnowMeNahYou · Accepted Answer

Man this is a tough one I've only probably met one or two ladies why the match my drive or wanted it a lot more than I was able to give. Like you would think after three times within a day you would be good, oh no let's squeeze in about three more times even though it's close to midnight and I got to get up to work in about the next 8 hours lol. But no seriously I don't think it's a buzzkill and I don't think a man will only think that you're thinking about sex. I think a lot of times men think like that for ladies therefore they don't necessarily want to press them constantly for it. Have a conversation with him and be very candid but polite, not to say that your needs and not being met but could you just sprinkle a little more sugar on top LOL for an analogy

Berethor · Answer

A woman that crave more sex than a man, unusual.

Paul_in_Indy · Answer

I almost always have a higher drive than my partners. I solve it with “alone time.” —or by masturbating when she is with me. If she isn’t in the mood for sex, I don’t mind snuggling up to watch a movie, putting one hand down her shirt and one hand down my pants. I also don’t mind rubbing myself while I’m in bed with her—or grinding while we kiss.

NathanDavis · Answer

have you even talked to him about this?

slatyb · Answer

He should have sex whether or not he's "in the mood". I would not stay in a relationship with someone who frequently rejected me..

20yearsolder · Answer

Seduce him, when you're in bed, rub his leg, slowly sliding it higher, rub his dick. If you're around the house wearing a naughty or something don't wear panties or a bra, if he's sitting across from you flash him your puss

jlee99 · Answer

Have you tried a vibrator?

UniquelyBasic · Answer

Is it just penetration you want or are you more than happy if he gives you oral or uses his hands on you? Sex doesn't have to be just PIV , it can be a variety of things. Maybe talk to him about it and

mstbooblover · Answer

That's indeed a problem, but the so-called time alone, being always healthy, could maybe be better if your partner has a little voyeur tendency. Don't hide him when you're jilling off, and let him enjoy the view ! Of course this is something that involves trust in each other, and a good understanding. By the way, I'd love to meet a lady loving to masturbate very often, every day for instance, or even more. If I can't cum as many times, that wouldn't be a problem, on the contrary, I'd enjoy her having fun. It's so beautiful a girl masturbating and cumming... No idea if this helps, but who knows? Best wishes, Paul

SlothySlob · Answer

I'm guessing that he's a busy person, assuming from that I suggest you plan your sexy time as you plan your dates.

oldguystillhasit · Answer

When my wife went through her horny stage I would always just do her orally or with finger on my "off" days. On some of those times while just doing her I would get aroused anyway.

humpbackjack · Answer

This will become a problem especially if he starts wanting sex even less and you start wanting it more which is likely to happen. Remember my words you should end it before you waste half your life feeling unwanted there’s someone out there that matches up with you better. Sex is a very important part of a relationship you should crave each other equally and in my opinion constantly

DavidRaul · Answer

Well communication would be the key to solve this problem. Tell him your problem. If he isn't able to have sex with you he might perform oral sex or use sex toys to reach orgasm

ArtemisSilver · Answer

This is part of why I enjoy polyamory, if you want more than one partner is up for then visit the other. No frustration or hurt feelings.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Just say "I want you to fuck me more." Problem solved.

jahaims · Answer

Both need to make a fair compromise

Twalli · Answer

Has he ever turned you down for sex?

Jerre · Answer

Have you talked about sex with him. Let him know how you feel, touch his cock, see if he gets hard. Ask him to suck your nipples, finger you, make you cum.