Tough question.. even tougher answer.. If he's the man you love and plan on being with for the rest of your days, there's no way leaving this up to chance would be the best decision. So what.. yoy made a mistake that was partially his fault too in a kinda sorta way.
Are you willing to risk him finding out in the worst possible way that not only is the child not his but that you chose to lie to him by omission and take a chance at rolling the paternity dice?
Either tell him what happened and explain that there could be a potential problem. Let him decide for himself if it would even matter in the end... Or look into bailing on this doomed endeavor, covering up the misdeed once and for all.
And for those of you who are snarling at the insensitivity of my words, I say Don t. I went through something very similar to this.. i was a stupid young husband who turned my back on my even younger wife. The very same thing happened.. it was a coin flip on who the father was.
I let my wife make the decision.. which ever way she felt was not only sensible but something she could live with.
What did she decide? Well she chose abortion..
Initially anyways.
She made the appointment, we drove into Dallas the night before... within those last few hours she said she couldn't go through with it... I reassured her I would love the child (little girl) like she was my own IF I lost that coin toss.
And I did just that BC it turned out Emily wasn't mine.. but I adored that little girl...
4 months after she was born.. on the night of my birthday.. Emily was staying with her Grandma while my wife took me out to celebrate... we got the call not long after we'd gotten to bed.. "Meet us at the hospital! Something is wrong with Emily!"
She passed away that night, and took a piece of me with her.
I wish u the best in whatever decision u decide to make.. as I said, it won't be an easy one.✌
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m also sorry that so many comments here are mean spirited or not empathetic. This is a serious situation which warrants understanding and love, not judgement. First of all, I’m pleading with you to not abort no matter who’s child it ends up being. It isn’t the child’s fault. You are his/her mommy from this point no matter who the father is. You have a great responsibility to protect this little one with your very life if needs be. For your own sanity, it may only seem the easier approach at the moment to terminate your own flesh and blood because the world discounts the value of life but you most certainly will make a bad situation much worse by aborting. Error on the side of choosing life. What may seem more difficult now will prove to be your best decision with the greatest reward later. Finally, just be honest with your husband. It will be difficult but easier now to face it vs live a secret life of affair and abortion for the rest of your life. This will test his love for you ultimately. You will have either a renewed love in your marriage after the hurt passes or he will remain angry and unforgiving which will tell you sooner rather than later that it’s ok for you to move on. You will know for sure one way or the other.
I so much wish you the very best. My heart aches for you. Do what is right now and let the consequence follow. Own your part in this and find how strong it will make you for the best in the end. ❤️
Talk to him, tell him you messed up. And ask for forgiveness. The decision is his. If you ever wanted to do all this, you should have divorced him first before indulging in such a thing. Now don't get depressed and all and dont do something wrong with your life. Just open up to him, beg him for forgiveness, whatever decision he announces be mentally strong to face it. Go to a counselor, take her into confidence. See what suggestions she has to offer. Go to a gynacologist and try to find out what kind of test you can take to know who the father is. I have no idea how your husband might react to this, but be ready to face the consequences. Girl, why did you this? I got so upset just reading this question.
first of all you should decide if you want to give birth to your child regardless of it's father. then if you decide to keep it i think you should find out the father of your baby for your child's and your own good.
if your husband doesn't care about you and you're not happy with him, i think you should get a divorce even if he's the father of your child because it won't be healthy for it to grow up in an unhappy household. i also would suggest talking to your possible baby daddy about this situation and find out if he wants to be a part of his child's life <3
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!Firstly I'm sorry to hear that. But unfortunately, it's sorta deserved. Infidelity, karma comes around. If he doesn't treat you right or give you what you want, why are you married to him? Best check all is abort the baby, divorce your husband if needed. Take this as your signal to fix things you are unhappy about in your life. I don't mean any of this in a disrespectful way, just being honest. Best of luck to you.
This is totally a ‘damage control’ situation, there are no good or bad choices, only gradations of bad.
You won’t know who’s the father of the child until the baby is born, yes, you can technically do a DNA test while the baby is still not born yet, but then it’s too late to choose to have the child or not.
If I was in your shoes I would abort. The lie might come out _most likely_ later on life, it’s choosing between hardship now or much bigger hardship in life later, and you’ll always ask your self ‘what if’ for the rest of your life.
Wish you strength.
And the Oscar for Best Trolling Screenplay goes to Pink Anonymous 18-24
Well yes you need to look at abortion, there are some other things.
you need to look at birth control, being married does not just mean not being on birth control.
you need to look at either repairing your marriage or breaking it up.
The other bit is STDs nothing tells a partner their other half is being unfaithful like an STD.
What you did and the reason you did it. It's none of my business. No matter what but I think it's cool is that you said it out loud put it on paper so everybody can see it knowing that people were going to give you shit and I think that's more beautiful than any of the above. It is what it is. It's between you and your husband and the other guy
No matter what the responses that you get
I absolutely respect you because you're one hundred percent honest about it. And for me looking at it this way. And a little bit deeper I have nothing but respect for you
Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.
Honestly the chances are it's the other guys and not your husband's, nature has a habit of choosing unknown sperm over know sperm to fertilize. The choice is yours but it's a 90% chance it's not your husband's baby.
You need to speak to a lawyer. The child is considered your husband's if it's born while you're married.
Tough question. You've been blessed with the prospect of giving birth to a new human being. So most important thing you should ask yourself is Do you want a child? regardless of who the father is?
Telling your spouse that you cheated is a difficult decision. If this is the first (and only time), you might want to keep it to yourself. Then again, if there's a chance he'll find out anyway, you might want to tell him. It really depends on your overall relationship, which doesn't sound too good. It also depends on his reaction to your pregnancy... is he supportive? excited? doesn't care?
Do what your heart tells you.
Well, you should go to church, ask the priest: "Father, please hear my confession" " Father, bless me, for I have sinned" . Give him 30 pieces of silver and call it a day. Problem solved.
I bet you are a democrat.
Not into politics
@highvalue And I think you picked your username poorly.
@Boromir Jealous? You don't know me so you showed your ignorance.
yeaah ngl and I sincerely mean this. If i found out you did this to me and i was married to you I'd probably off myself. Some of you ladies just dont get how your actions affect guys. we aren't unfeeling rocks. We're human beings too and we have to be strong because if we aren't you lose interested 9/10. Been there, done that, lived through it. No excuse you can come up with would justify what you did. The second you cheated you should have known you were unworthy of the marriage you were in. My best advice is the *BEG* him to take you back and if he doesn't you better run to the guy that knocked you up.
Honestly no self respecting man would keep you after this. But hey you cheated on him in the first place so I guess you never respected him either. Take accountability for your actions just like we have to. You're an adult, start acting like one. Don't betray and murder your blood because you were a selfish person. Realistically you could have talked with your husband about your problems and it might have taken time and dedication but you could have worked through it. Once you cheat I have zero sympathy for you. I try to empathize with others, but betrayers get nothing from me but the cold, hard, truth.
Are you sure just who is the father? My ex. cheated on me with a rich man. She divorced me and married him and pinned the pregnancy on him. She had sex with both of us during that month. The boy looks just like me. It breaks my heart, but I did not find out she was pregnant when we divorced. I did not find out about this until the boy was 24. I figured it would cause more harm than good to mess up his life by bringing this all up.
So to start honesty is the best policy, its a time tested saying for a reason. He is 100x more likley to be forgiving if you say to him what you said here as opposed to finding out later. Also maybe seek some marraige counseling. No one truly ignores a partner for no reason, you two have some mending to do clearly. Or if you decide youve had enough then be honest and tell him why you did it, and explain youve had enough of it and it took this to make you realise it.
You are so silly. Clearly You are in a relationship where You are lonely, and as you said want attention. Abort the baby, get a divorce, and find someone who cares about You.
Destroyed your husbands life and you robbed your kids life since he will no longer have a stable house hold with a mother and father. All you can do is reflect and change.
Abortion would probably your better choice there.
The only valid advice to give is "leave your husband and tell him you cheated".
it's your choice to abort the fetus or not, but you can't play the victim here, you could have left, then had sex after, instead of cheating. Either way your marriage is over, even if you were to lie, He would figure it out eventually, and divorce would still happen.
Do abotion and move on.
Problem solved. by the way few weeks ago I fucked someone wife's as hookup. Is that you? Lol.
Get divorced and go out with your new friend.
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