Sexual Relationships
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I don't feel anything when my boyfriend fingers me, I feel bad about it like something is wrong with me?

My first boyfriend said that he was the first guy who made his ex cum. So I feel like something is wrong with me because I don't feel good when he fingers me. It hurt a few times he did but then I felt nothing. I have never cum before so maybe I am the problem. We have tried it many times but it doesn't work. Maybe I don't feel an emotional connection with him and that's why I am not able to feel good?

1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • I don’t know if you feel emotionally connected to him could be the problem. However please consider that fingering you probably doesn’t stimulate because the vaginal canal is one diameter and the finger is smaller. A penis is the thickness it is for a reason. Add to that the fact that you’re probably wet and that cuts down on the friction and it will decrease your pleasure. Sometimes after childbirth women will need to have their vagina tightened with surgery because it has become stretched and they no longer have sensation there. So don’t take it too personal most likely it is these factors.

  • Okay, you are absolutely not the problem!! Gay woman here, and I can tell you confidently, that what may work for one woman may not work at all for another.

    Your best bet here is to have some good communication with your boyfriend. Obviously this isn't working, so you both need to try something new until you find what works for you.

    But you are NOT the problem!

    • thanks.

Most Helpful Guys

  • You have nothing wrong with you. It is him. Many guys need some coaching... it is ok to talk about sex with him so next time when you are naked with him show him how you do it and show him how you like it. Guide his fingers and do not be afraid to give him some feedback like "faster, higher, softer etc." Some guys see a lot of the rough fingering that they watch on porn and think that is how to do it.

    Do you give him handjobs in return? How does he like them? Let me know ur thoughts.

    • yes i did give him handjobs , he cums everytime

  • For a first time you aren't going to cum right away! You don't know what you need to get you going.
    Some girls need a lot of action to get any sort of feeling. Maybe you just need to experiment with different objects, techniques and combinations. So just have a go at different things, more fingers, different angles, other things as well (ass or nipple play).

    It could be you just don't feel turned on with the guy but don't let that invade your head until you know !

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 13

  • He sounds like one of those inexperienced guys that goes from clit to vagina in 2.2 seconds. You are not going to cum off of finger fucking. If he is not stimulating your clit and finger fucking you he is not doing it right. This is where it really helps to know your own body so that you can tell him whether you like direct clit contact or indirect contact. You would know this if you explored your body.

  • You came to the right site for advice.

  • All women are different your boyfriend can't assume your bits work the same as other girls he's been with.

    I've been with women who orgasm from clitoral stimulation, I was with one woman who said she didn't normally orgasm from it but it worked for me.
    My girlfriend enjoys clitoral stimulation but it pushes her over the edge to squirt when I stimulate her g-spot.

    I think the big leveler is the Hitachi magic wand as the vibrations penetrate deep aswell as being on the surface you just set the power level as needed!

  • You feel what you feel. What works for you? Just tell him that. But if you aren't into him, then just end it and find someone who makes your panties wet.

  • Are you successful in giving yourself an orgasm by hand?
    If yes, invite him to watch you do it up close so he learns what works.

  • Let him rather go down and eat you out

  • It's probably him. Many girls will take an organ to make a guy feel good, and not every girl likes the same things either. When he does something you like, or something you don't like tell him. If he really wants to get you off he'll take your coaching to learn how to please you

  • No there nothing wrong with nor there is no human connection sometimes girls can cum in different ways. Some girls need the guy to eat her out to cum or actually have sexual intercourse. Also you could not be use to getting fingered. Maybe try it yourself and try get use to it. Also there always the possibility he no. good at it.

  • Ask him to do something else sexually that you like instead of that.

  • maybe you need to try something new maybe with the tongue work on the clit more it is all about the clit

  • He should try to lick your clitoris while fingering your pussy, also he should suck your nipples as well...

    • he did that too but still nothing..

    • Sorry but that's his fault he should do his job better to make you orgasm...

  • try 69 and try to let him sick ur tits whiles he penetrating.

  • Could be something wrong with the way he's doing it

  • U are right

    • right about what

    • Emotional feeling

    • I stilll don't get it how do people have casual sex because you know no emotions involved

  • No because i totally feel the same way, it don’t feel pleasant, honestly it feels like nothing!

  • "I am the problem" ding ding ding good go with that you hit the nail right on the head

  • So you masturbate? If you don't, you should. Learn what feels good to you. Some women can't cum from penetration. They cum from other types of stimulation. Playing with your nipples or massaging your clit

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