Sexual Relationships
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I just lost my virginity yesterday.. to a guy, am I gay? I feel guilty and confused?

I'm really shy and always have been. I live with my parents and work at a fast food place. I've only had one girlfriend, but when she came over one time to hang out, we made out and she started grabbing my crotch. I couldn't get hard as bad as I was trying. I told her I was a virgin and she said she understandood. This was a year ago. I've been working at KFC for the past few months and my shift leader (that happens to be gay) took a liking to me. Always told me I was cute on smoke breaks and that I should try being with a guy one time and that we should hang out. Well last night we did finally. I came over to his house. He cooked me dinner and we just chilled. We were just playing video games and he starts rubbing my shoulders and my hair. I won't lie, it felt good, and then all of a sudden he starts kissing my neck and then we started kissing. It just felt good, and my penis was rock hard. He asked if he could suck me off and I said yes because I was really horny by that point.. Things escalated and after he gave me a blowjob, he took off the rest of his clothes and then he asked me if he could tryfucking me. I told him no, because that was honestly just kinda too weird for me and it still is. He then asked me if I would fuck him. By now, I was horny and felt vulnerable and said yes, and then I took off the rest of my clothes, shoes, socks, boxers, everything. He handed me a condom and some lube and yeah... it was probably a minute long of me fucking him and I didn't even cum. I just felt guilty, I stopped, put on my clothes and I went home. When I got home, he was texting me asking me if I was okay and I ignored him and didn't show up to work last night. Truth is, I really wanted him to fuck me just to see what it feels like. I don't know if im gay because I officially never had sex with a girl. I really want to but im too shy to talk to them. I feel like my friend took advantage of me. I don't know, I just don't, what do you all think?
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Most Helpful Girl

  • If it was a shift leader or manager or anything like that even if you consented it could be considered rape because he has power over you (being that he is your superior at work) or at least that is the law in Canada if a teacher has sex with a student and they feel taken advantage of even if they are of age the teacher can be charged wit rape because it could be like a threat of giving them bad grades if they don't or withholding pay if they don't. It is very common though to be attracted to both genders so you don't have to feel guilty about that! Whether you are Bisexual or just gay it's perfectly natural and normal and common. The situation you described is a bit sketchy though and the fact that you are feeling a bit taken advantage of is a big red flag and I think you should stay away from this guy and possibly even report him to your work. It's great to explore your sexuality in a setting where you feel safe with someone who you trust and makes you feel secure and the fact that you said you felt vulnerable means that he was completely out of line and he probably knew you felt uncomfortable. The fact that he kept going even though you were uncomfortable is wrong. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I am Bisexual myself but it took me a long time to admit it because my first encounter with a girl was scary and awful. I had a crush on this girl and I decided to flirt with her even though I thought I was 100% straight I was drunk at this party and so was she but she ended up pinning me to the ground and kissing me (which I liked and did turn me on) and asking if I was "a bad girl but then she stuck her hand up my skirt even though I said no and basically molested me while I freaked out and had an asthma attack on the floor. After that when I got with my boyfriend he had to be super gentle and caring so I wouldn't get scared and now I love sex and I feel totally safe and happy doing stuff with him but it took me a long time to get over that fear because of what happened with that girl. I haven't been with a girl since her but I do know I am attracted to them. I think you should call kid's help phone or something (yes 20 is young enough!) or another phone service with counselors to talk this out. Best of luck figuring out your sexuality and remember you don't even have to label your sexuality if you don't want to! I'm sorry you felt so coerced into sex you were not 100% sure about it's a tough thing to go through.

    • Wow... I was thinking the SAME thing Could I have been raped?

    • I think it was more like coercion

Most Helpful Guys

  • Let me start off by saying damn!!!

    Ok he didn't take advantage of you first off. Your 20 years old and went over there on your own knowing full well he most likely would hit and you and try to do something sexual with you. He asked you questions instead of just going for it so he tried letting you be in control. I think you could be the ever popular term bi-curious and if you enjoy it bisexual or gay. I think you should hang out him again and just take things so. You both went full speed way to fast in one night. I also think you have to try to get over your shyness so you can know what you really are.

  • Your bi bruh. At the least.

    Performance anxiety is really common with women, it can be easier to get hard around guys because they know EXACTLY whats going on. Plus with the girl you were probably a lot more tense and he eased you into it.

    It's just psychological.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 7

  • ... yep...

    • yup what?

  • Nah bro you're totally strait.

  • I think since you got hard for a guy but not a girl, you're gay... not that there's anything wrong with that.

  • battyman, i feel sorry for you, just have just used a hooker

  • Probably gay or bisexual if you still like girls.

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