Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I think I messed up by telling my mom that I wasn’t a virgin anymore?
Anonymous
For months I have been feeling sad because I’ve been hiding it from her and I wished that I could tell her everything and ask her all the questions I had but I lied because I was too scared about telling her that I lost my virginity since she is very short tempered and I was scared about what she would do. But I finally told her two days ago that I wasn’t a virgin anymore she kept on asking me where I did it and I said his room and then she said that she was very disappointed in me that I was having sex with him in his parents house, she can’t believe that she has a daughter like this, that his parents could think that I’m a slut (we don’t make noise or anything they just see us cuddling), That we should do it at a hotel, and she told me not to go to his room ever again. The thing is I love being in the room with him It’s the only time where it’s just me and him the only form of privacy that I have my parents are so strict and don’t even let me lie down on the couch I want to be able to cuddle with him and stuff and it’s not like we have a bunch of sex we only have sex twice a month max and a hotel would be too expensive he doesn’t even work, where else does she expect me to have sex with him and alone time? His room is the only place and I’m an introvert and feel more at peace/ happy there I love being there. After I was brave enough to tell her something that was really hard to talk about, she starts treating me like I’m a disappointment and I don’t think it’s fair because I’ve never even been able to explore things as much as other teenagers/adults I don’t drink, I’ve never really been allowed to an official party, never been allowed to go to a sleep over, etc. and this is the only thing that I do because I love him and I want to I’ve always been a good girl that’s never had many friends and is a bit lonely. I just wish she would let me be happy I don’t have a lot of freedom and my favorite thing to do is to be in the room with him it makes me so happy
Updates:
+1 y
I finally get the guts to tell her and now she treats me like a disappointment and like I betrayed her.
+1 y
I feel so sad i really regret telling her now she’s banning me from going to his room again it’s the only place that it’s just me and him I feel so safe, comfortable, and happy I don’t want to stop going there should I keep going there and lie?
0 5
What Girls & Guys Said
7 35Your mom is kinda weird lol but yea that does suck she should be more supportive and answer any of your questions and be like next time bring your boyfriend to your room not a fucking hotel lol 😂
What's the question?
She is just being negative and demoralising you and it might impact your relationship too and its totally fine to be intimate with your boyfriend in his room and this doesn't make you a slut at all and its not safe to go to a hotel during this pandemic, just ignore her and be the way you are 😊🙂
Parents always like to think they daughters are virgins till old age even if they have kids of their own. They still like to think of them as the virgin mary
But it’s different for a guy they always encourage guys to get laid 🙄
I know it's a stupid double standard
Because the guys don't get pregnant.. that's all. They don't want that responsibility.
Best to be honest. She was your age once.
Why did you tell her
Because I felt sad since I usually share everything with her
But you had to know she wasn't gonna take that well
^^^^
@pink_and_inlove she toke it better than you thought, at least she didn't kick you out the house.
^what he said
@Jamie05rhs I regret it because now I feel very embarrassed
@pink_and_inlove the embarrassed would pass, you a big girl and come clean before your mom. :)
I agree with @Berethor. You'll be alright, @pink_and_inlove.
She just told me that even the sluttiest girls don’t do it at the guy’s parent’s house
It because sluttiest girls relationships tend to be very short, so they don't got to meet the parents.
@Berethor I’m not slutty at all this guy was my first everything and I’m hoping that his talks about marrying me are true
@pink_and_inlove you should tell those things to your mom, maybe it would help.
@Berethor I don’t need to tell her she already knows
She has no reason to call me a slut
I agree with Berethor.
She already knows that I was a virgin and everything and that he was my first kiss too I’ve always told her everything she knows that he’s the only one
@pink_and_inlove you need to keep telling her that, and then tell her that you want to go to his room.
Sounds like your mom as a lot of internalized sexual shame
Wait for the shock to wear off and then try talking to her again.
Tell her you want help from her.
I know how you feel.
She will get over it
I agree. One of my girl friends had her first time with her first boyfriend. Her mother knew right away because she spent the night over his house a lot and it's obvious what a girl does on a sleepover over a boyfriends house. Her mother would slut shame her constantly. She ended up moving in with her boyfriend and completely stopped talking to her mother. And she stopped hearing her harassing. And now whenever they talk, her mother talks to her like normal because I guess she realized she could easily throw an insult and never hear from her again or just be a normal person and hear from her often.
She is being dramatic , it’s all gonna co down
Maybe he's not good for you and you can't see it yet your too young you know he's probably going to hurt you on purpose some point anyways
My family likes him he’s smart, gets good grades, is sweet, and super charismatic.
Ye maybe that's not enough though
Hmmm if your are above 20 then your a grown up and you had no right to tell her about your sex life.
The number one mistake you made was to have sex in your parents room, that is the big disrespect lol.
Just find a way you can say sorry to her n put on those puppy eyes.
She was not doing it in her parents room, she was doing it in her boyfriend's room.
We have a few things in common in this situation except i drink and I'm a bad boy lol.
My mother is also the disappointment type and she never says it but I can see it her eyes and hear it in her voice.
This bad boy's advice is if you're mother can't support the fact that you're in love with someone and want to be with him in all ways, then she needs to keep her damn disappointing opinions to herself and climb off her bloody high horse.
What about your dad, is he know something?
If I told my dad he would really lose it. He’s the sweeter parent but I’m even more scared of telling him
Also in which position you loose your virginity and did you felt any pain?
I think you did the right thing, even if she is disappointed now im sure that will fade in time!
Proud of you for telling here. Be strong!
You are an adult she can't tell you you can't see him. She may threaten to throw you out tho lol.
You're an adult. If you're parents can't give you the same love as you were brought into this world then just focus on yourself and your relationship with him
are you nuts!
who tells their parents about their sexuality?
I just felt super guilty and sad I’ve always told my mom everything even though we don’t get along
I’ve always told her about my first kiss, my boyfriend, my first date etc.
I don’t know I just felt sad for not telling her now I realize what a fool I was and I don’t think that I should even trust her she’s always on the phone gossiping with someone. I really regret it
You was honest, being honest is not easy but it's right, also you expected worse reaction from her.