Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health If a girl gives a guy blue balls, is it justified for him to be angry/ upset with her?
Anonymous
There have been a few occasions when I have made out with a guy until he was really turned on, but I didn't let him have sex with me. Nor did I give him a hand job or a blow job so he could come. Mainly because I wasn't ready to take it to that level. Sometimes the men have reacted quite badly. One got really angry. Another got cold on me, and never asked me out on another date. My question is, is it considered in bad taste or inconsiderate to do this to a guy? How would you react to the situation? Girls, has this happened to you before?
Updates:
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Thanks everyone for the overwhelming response. These answers were a real eye opener. I think I might have to reconsider my behvaiour... A lot of guys here are saying I should tell the guy before hand that I wasn't intending to have sex with them. I would like to clarify that I had done just that. I also explained to them why. Also on both these occasions where it went bad, it was the first time we were making out...
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What Girls & Guys Said
13 42You should specify the limits BEFORE, and not AFTER.
And I did...
Well that is on him then
I would be annoyed, because it does hurt and is uncomfortable, so now you know what its like, after seeing the reactions and reading our answers, dont do it.
Yeah it wasn't something I meant to do intentionally honestly. Didn't mean for him to get blue balls... Feel terrible about it now.
Its not like nothing can be done about it, ejaculating gets rid of it, but more than i dunno say... 5 minutes i guess? of being in that state is not fun
You are one flakey person, aren't you. One day you will get into a situation that you can't get out of. Then what? I think you're just a garden variety tease who doesn't merit a fraction of the attention you seem to be craving.
Let him jerk off and come see you.
But they have a point to get upset cause it s frustrating.
It s like building it up for you and when you re really into it they just stop. -_- so frustrating!
omg Gets it!! *applauds*
@ConsultantIsBack hahaha yea ^^ Last guy did it to me, pissed me off!
haha, what a jerk! lmao
No. He should know how to take care of himself.
It's not wrong to turn down sex but it's not wrong for them to feel frustrated either.
Most sensible answer yet.
It demonstrates to a guy your level of interest in him and your unwillingness to be intimate on a sexual and emotional level. So they just realise your not worth pursuing as a future partner.
But it had nothing to do with my level of interest. I was really interested in the second guy, it just takes me time to get comfortable to that level.
Well uou should have relieved his tension with a hj if you were interested that would have shown you at least cared and were worthy of his time and that sex was going to be apart of the relationship.
But I wasn't comfortable with a hand job either. I think hand jobs are quite personal. Blow jobs even more so...
I guess he wasn't comfortable waiting for a sign of your interest.
If a girl gives a guy blue balls, it is justified for him to beat the monkey before it hurts.
If a guy has some action with a girl who is not ready to have sex just yet, HE is responsible for his own ("blue") balls. because HE let things go further than comfortable, knowing very well it might happen.
I wouldn't think so unless you've already had sex and you're intentionally doing it to irritate him. If you're not ready then you're not ready.
Thank you for your answer. No both these times, I hadn't had sex with the guy. It was the first time we were making out...
Here's the thing to just be straight with you. You shouldn't make out and foreplay if you aren't going to bang. It's as simple as that. If you make out and get all handsy, but then don't go all the way... it's just beyond teasing for us.
It's like someone eating your favorite dessert in front of you and you aren't allowed to have any lmao.
If you want to stay virgin, that's great, but don't lead him on that road if you aren't willing to be there in the first place, you know? hope that makes sense
Thanks for this perspective, and appreciate the honesty. I never looked at it that way. Whenever I indulged in this, I thought he might actually like getting some action, even if I was not ready for all the way... so guys would rather have all or nothing?
Yeah I know most girls don't think of that, which is why I want to be brutally honest about it. That's the whole objective of gag right? :) I think girls can be satisfied by making out and being handsy, but for guys its not the same. we're too physical for just that, you know? another clarification: I'm not saying don't kiss at all if you are staying virgin or whatever. I'm just saying dont get PG13 if you dont want to get R rated lol. hopefully im making sense.
I understand. But it had been 3 weeks of dating at that point. For me it takes a while before I am ready for sex. Like 2 months or so... more like 3. From what I understand most guys can't wait that long, so I thought he would appreciate some action, even if it wasn't all the way. I Guess I should get more comfortable with hand jobs?
I mean at the end of the day it's all communication. TELL him "i dont feel ready for sex yet" and discuss why/why not, a timeline, his thoughts, etc. It's all communication. And yes, in my opinion, I think handjobs and/or blowjobs are a good alternative to maintain virginity.
Ok you keep assuming I am a virgin. I am not! Ha ha. It's just that I don't have sex unless in a serious relationship. But I get your point about the hand jobs/ blow jobs. Also like I told another guy here, I had made it very clear I didn't want to take it far and even explained why to him.
oh my bad haha sorry i missed that part
ya stroke the poor guy lol
It is all or nothing. If you got me that hot and we didn't fuck, you'd be out the door ! And walking home !
Two months is too long. Only a little beta faggot would wait that long.
Nah that's just a thing shitty men do to guilt trip women into having sex.
No, if you're not ready then the partner needs to accept that.
He always has the right be upset. No ones has the right to take that away from him.
However, he doesn't have the right to act out irresponsibly, like cursing you, hitting, etc.
I don't think it's justified... the degree of arousal could vary with each guy, and therefore, one guy would be assuming during a make-out session when another guy would be thinking that it's just a make-out session. Since when does making out mean that sex is on the cards?
That's like saying to a date, "Hey, lets have entrée", because you know you wouldn't be having entrée without at least having main course. Instead, I could say to a girl, "Let's get something to eat", which doesn't imply anything, and at the very least we'll be getting a taste, with a possibility of getting to main course or dessert...
Blue balls are uncomfortable but they're hardly the end of the world. Mostly it's just something that guys tell girls to get them to get them off
Well after reading the responses here, I certainly feel pressured to... Or rather just not make out with them at all. But then I would be considered a prude, because I don't have sex so easily. Takes me a couple of months of dating. Don't think a guy would be ok with just a few kisses until then?
If a guy is not going to respect your feelings, you shouldn't be making out with him anyways
Not a guy worth anything. For me it's sex after one month or five dates or I'm gone. The days of a woman waiting forever to have sex are thankfully over. And they needed to be.
his blue balls is his problem, he's been taking care of it since he was 13.. he can take care of it himself now.
If you give me a few minutes to myself to rub one out, it's all good. Blue balls are no joke, it hurts.
It all depends on why you would give a guy blue balls. Just to get angry or upset with her is not really that justified. Unless he attacks her physically, she should never give a guy blue balls.
Not at all, life is learning how to deal with disappointments, without acting like a spoiled brat.
Thanks, among all these opinions that's telling me otherwise, this makes me feel better... 😊
Absolutely
No if your not comfortable then have every right to refuse that. You only kissed them. If you quit halfwat through oral I would say what the hell. Those guys tried to use you. Screw em
My honest opinion is this if your not "ready" to do anything with a guy dont waste his/your time by getting into a relationship plain and simple ya know this is why women get raped cause they tease and tease and never come through with what theyre promising then the guys emotions get the best of him and he snaps