Is he using me or does he care?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been ‘seeing’ this guy for about 2/3 months, but I’ve worked for him for almost 2 years. A year ago he went on a trip/vacation overseas and he met a girl there. From what he’s told me they done the deed and that’s it. Recently he showed me that he has her on Instagram and was pretty much bagging about how good and hot she was. I found her Instagram on my phone and found out that he still likes her pictures and comments (eg ‘looking good’ ‘hot’ ‘u are beautiful’) the thing that ticks me off the most about this is that he’s met this girl, had sex with her and STILL keeps in contact with her, kinda makes me feel like I’m not good enough.
Also why I think he’s using me is he always makes our conversations turn into something about sex. He’s always the one that messages me first, usually he’ll check up on me and see how I’m doing and soon after that he’ll say how horny he is and how much he wishes I was there. He will always call me ‘babe’ and most times he will always say ‘I want you’ he’s told me acouple of times that he loves me and that he misses me, But I really don’t know how to feel. One night he was drunk/tipsy and came over and sat with me on the couch and said that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I said no only because I didn’t believe him and he was drinking. I told him one day that I think him and I should cut ties and move on. He told me that he dosent want me to move on and that we both want each other so let’s keep this going. There was another time I said we should move on and he said he was ‘gutted’ and he messaged me acouple of days later saying he was going to pick me up so we can chat. (That didn’t happen, only sex) usually when I mention a guy to him he’ll get angry and jealous Because I can see it in he’s eyes. He won’t want me to see them, only him. I really don’t know how to feel about this situation. Should I just give us a break to see how we feel? Or should I just cut this off for good? Thank you!!

[Berethor]

Well you forgive him when he 'done the deed' with that girl, he can see that you are not very territorial so it not much of a stretch for him to keep contact with you both, while he made clear that he is very territorial, and guys tend to be more territorial than girls so it's not surprising. He care enough about you to not let you be with other guys, but he don't care enough about you to stop contacting the other girl, looks like he want you both. The other girl might okay with him being with you, or she don't know about you, while you don't him to be with her, though your reason for that is that it makes you feel like you not good enough, interestingly you are not directly bothered by the fact that he had sex with that girl, so he not totally wrong about assuming that you might accept her. The guy might be polyamorous though he didn't told you about it, and was fairly dishonest about his relationship with the other girl, though he did told you that he 'done the deed' with her, and you kept having sex with him after that. It's obvious that he don't play to but contact with the other girl, and he also don't want "open relationship", what he want is to have you both, and if you don't okay about sharing him with that girl then that relationship is not for you. He also clearly believe that it okay for a guy to be with two girls, but it's not okay for a girl to be with two guys.

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyGirlIsNotASlut

[Twalli]

He had sex with her before you were together. He probably still think she's hot. Yet he seems invested in you now. He will see other women as hot. Yet that doesn't mean he will cheat in you. He didn't that time and it doesn't appear he is now. My girlfriend is with me not because I don't see other women as hot. Nor would it be an issue if I had sex before we did and I was still in contact with that girl. She knows I am faithful. That's all that matters.

[wassim97]

I think you just need to move on and the way you said things it doesn’t show that he care about you and he just want to sleep with you its better if you close everything you have with him and move on

[Avicenna]

Yeah, he’s using you for sex

[FruitAndBlueEyes]

I’d end it honestly, since it seems he’s infatuated with the other woman.

[In_Trance]

I think you should just move on