Is it a good idea to let a man sleep in your bed without having sex?

There’s a man who I’ve been talking to, he is coming to my city to see me for the first time. I don’t have one night stands. Have only had one partner, but I miss having someone sleep next to me.

Is it a good idea to let him sleep next to me in my bed without having sex?
I would just like to cuddle. I don’t want sex.

0 1

Superb Opinion

  • Well, if it was me, you'd have nothing to worry about. I'm sure there's other guys like me that you can trust. I would just assume that we're kind of a rare breed. I've already slept with two girls and nothing happened. And one of those times, we slept on the same couch! I'd much rather have her trust me than to try to have sex with her when she doesn't want it.
    Oh, and, I've slept hundreds of times with my future ex-fiance and never had sex with her, even though we were completely naked.

Most Helpful Guy

  • It’s a bad idea.

    Every girl I’ve ever pulled from a nightclub who has invited me back to her place has told me “you can come back to mine, but we’re not having sex”.

    When I’d go back with them I wouldn’t make a move because I didn’t want to seem over-eager. In fact my go-to move was to grab a pillow, put it between us, wait for her to ask what I’m doing and I’d say “Jesus is watching”. But then they’d move the pillow, we’d cuddle, kiss, and end up having sex. Never did t

    Women always say they’re not gonna have sex even when that’s their plan. It’s like some weird game or code that we’re supposed to understand and play along with.

    For this reason inviting him to your bed and saying “no sex” will still be confusing for him.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I’ve let that happen before. But i Woke up with my ass covered in cum so i assume he jerked off on my cheek while i was sleep 💀 After letting him sleep in my bed, something weird happened once he left. Lets just say i hope the mf didn't bring something into my house because i had a sleep paralysis moment where it felt like something was trying to fck me. Very scary moment. Had never happened before his arrival

    • will u stop ur imagine of creating stories?

    • @peterrezeeek English please? And i’m an open book. I will share as much of my past as i want

    • all ur questions are too long and boring... i think u r sharing a virtual stories from ur brain

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  • He will be wanting sex no matter what you do, especially if you cuddle, so it's not really fair to him.

    • I will probably want sex too, as he is very attractive but I will mot have sex with him unless we are in a relationship. I just really miss cuddling and sleeping next to someone.

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What Girls & Guys Said

2 31
  • You need to be extremely upfront about this with him. There will be men that will honor your request with pleasure and just be a big cuddly spoon, there will also be men that see it as ‘now sex is only 2mm away’ and they to push you towards sex.

    Let’s put it this way… The risk is not decreasing, and with all due respect, even you might loose your self control in the heat of the game too.

  • Honestly, I would say unless you are open to the possibility of sex, you should keep all men out of your bed. It's really not a good idea, once you start sleeping and cuddling this guy is going to expect sex, if not right away he is going to think it is coming soon.

    Plus, this guy is coming from out of town and staying with you, you better make it clear before he arrives that just because he is staying with you that you are not wanting sex. And yes, that means he is on the couch.

  • The best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.

    If I was sexually attracted to you and I was in bed with you, snuggled together, my hands would proably start roaming, exploring and trying to arouse you. And I'd probably get hard just feeling your body against mine. Is that fair to put hm in that position? It's not just about what you want.

  • Not a good idea at all. You are being completely selfish about it too.

  • You playing with fire, he would mostly likely be pushing for sex when you so close to him.

  • I do not believe any good can come from this.

  • If u actually tell him this beforehand don't assume he will know what u want

    • Will it confuse him?

    • Ofc it will

    • But I really don’t want sex. I mean I am attracted to him but I don’t have sex outside relationship and I have had one long term relationship which ended about 8 months ago and I feel like I miss having someone by my side, sleep next to me, or just cuddle with me before sleeping. That’s all I want. Sex can wait… Would not this also be a pleasure for him to sleep next to me?

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  • Watching is one thing, doing is another. A guy may like watching cars crash in a movie... doesn't mean he wants to be in one.

  • Very bad idea.

    • Why?

    • Risk of rape or worse.

  • Nothing wrong with just cuddling and falling to sleep together.

  • I used to do this with my ex girlfriend a lot. We never had sex.

    • Was it hard to not get tempted?

    • Yes, sometimes it was. Looking back it was a weird relationship.

  • I was thinking about that. I'd probably, if (or when) travelling with my future bride (when she appears), start with one room with two single beds - to avoid seeming coercive.
    Would I have her sleep in my bed? Certainly, even a single bed. But that got made. to be poor form - somehow - maybe by people who prefer no marriage ever takes place, I couldn't tell you (I am not at all fussy about the arrangements, as long as she remains a virgin and feels comfortable with me - say, with the topic of going to toilet when she feels she needs ti without wondering how I might feel about it (it isn't like I don't poo daily, usually)).

  • Men can't control it most of the times, it will be unfair to him. If u cuddle him then he might want to fuck u and saying no at this stage will leave bitter taste

  • My answer very simple, the answer is in your question, actually you know it consequence of the action.

    If you fully trust on yourself and control then go for it.

  • Not the smartest idea in my opinion.

  • A lot of guys might get a little upset by that. I personally would be fine with that.

    It is a good Idea, however, to communicate your sentiment beforehand just so you all know what to expect and are on the same page.

  • Yeah if he is okay just to cuddle and embrace each other in your arms. I just keep some clothes on though so he doesn't get the wrong idea and you don't end up having sex.

  • As long as you establish the boundaries ahead of time and he's willing to respect them, go for it. If he's looking to use it to get more than cuddling and sleeping next to each other though, don't. If he tries anything, kick him out of the bed

    • He’s much bigger and stronger than me though 😂 He is 1 ft taller and very masculine.

    • If he respects you in the least and is at all decent he will not force himself on you

  • In this situation, I say he sleeps on the couch.

    • I have a small couch and he’s 6’2 can’t fit there

    • Most likely yes. But have lube too.

    • I don’t want to have sex with him yet lol

  • Probably not.

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