Is it bad that being degraded turns me on?

[Anonymous]

It’s only if I already like the man and he starts to become dominant and stuff I remembered whilst we where hooking up a time that he pushed me and called me a “disgusting sl*t” and told me that he’s done and never wants to see my face again, and remembering it actually made me aroused and helped me climax quicker, being choked isn’t enough I seem to like to be degraded. it’s not a troll post I swear. I told my best friend and she said okay definitely break up with him first then talk to a therapist about that, that isn’t normal. But when I googled it a lot of people on quora etc said it can be a type of kink?:/

[razelove]

It isn't good or bad, it just is. I like degrading and inflicting pain, my wife, and every woman I can remember being with enjoyed receiving it. Really the only thing that you have to be careful of is knowing where your limit is.

So, say it was physical pain that turned you on, finding that limit, having a recovery time, and knowing how far to go are pretty straightforward things to do. With degradation it's a bit more complex, say today we got together and I called you nasty, barely worthy of being my cum dumpster, what have you, saying the same things won't have the same effect tomorrow. So in order to have any effect of degrading you, the intensity has to keep going up. I have to stay creative.

The real problem is that some things you say to people actually hurt deep, and don't just stop hurting or causing self-doubt when the sex is over. Picking and picking at them will cause a person to break, and aren't so obvious like physical wounds. I haven't met anyone with mental breakdown as one of their fetishes yet, so that seems like something to avoid.

It could also be that it wasn't being pushed down that turned you on so much as the grudge fuck. So, in a situation with an ex like that it isn't one sided, like you didn't show up just for him to blow off steam. You both could act however the hell you wanted with no fear of judgement, that's a pretty damned good feeling to have, but doesn't require being degraded or anything, just someone who encourages you to.

Anywho, be careful, ego can be a fragile thing, especially when you ask other people to stomp on it. You won't know things have gone too far until you break. It's why though I'm good at degrading, I'll stick to physical pain and don't take women out shopping with the dog collar on anymore.

[ohshee]

Yes it is a a kink that a lot of girls like I'd like to role-play and there's a lot of girls in role-play or phone sex they want to be degraded on phone sex the thing is with me is I'm not that type of person to be able to allow myself to do that I have done it on phone sex once and roll play once but I felt that I didn't do it right I have asked other girls to teach me how because I want to become very good at it if I'm going to do it I want to do it right I tell people if you want to know something you have to experience it to understand it and it's the same thing with this I don't know if I want to experience it to understand it because that's just not who I am but to get a girl off I would love to know how to do it the role-play that I did and the phone sex that I did go to this girl said it was great but I'm a Virgo and I didn't feel it was great I thought I could have been better way better so one of these days hopefully somebody will teach me or I will get asked again to do it again in try to just become better but if that's a turn-on for you yeah it can be a can be hella hot there's a couple other things that girls like to do during roleplay and I could never do it in real life but I mean I would try it a role-play and I have that in a roleplay and it was. Very hot and very intense

[Anonymous]

I find that a big turn off
I can’t even watch porn like that it turns me off.

[NamerOfStars]

It's not bad, but it can definitely push you to bad places. You know the proverb "Never make a major life decision while hungry, horny, sleepy, or engulfed in flames"? That's what this is warning you about. If it gets your motor running, then behavior that would otherwise be called abusive can have a place in a relationship- even for a looser-than-usual definition of that term- but you need to be wary of the rattling it can give if your brain pops out of sexytime mode and you find yourself thinking "What the hell is he saying to me? Does he actually feel that way?" (or "why am I being so hurtful to a person I care so much about? Am I a monster?", if you're on the other side). If things are going to get intense, make sure you BOTH have safewords- even if it's only verbal.

[TheCunningLinguist]

Not at all. It's a common kink.

[JPrez]

It's pretty common. A lot of women love to be dominated and some like to be called all sorts of degrading names and it turns them on. It's just your kink. As long as you and the guy are comfortable with it, then it's fine. Just make sure he doesn't cross any lines beyond that. Some guys enjoy it just like you do.

[0112358]

It's not THAT uncommon a kink. Most people don't like it but a sizeable minority do.

[E_Z_Z]

Yeah it's really normal
on the other hand there are people who enjoy the feeling of degrading someone
I'm a dominant and degrading the girl I'm with and making her completely my submissive sl*t is amazing
so it's okay there's nothing wrong with you. you would be great for many guys
but you need to know that not all guys understand this and not all guys can do degrading and dominance and all of that and some like to go even further so know where you are and what you like and what you're ready to try and find someone who can work it out with you.
best of luck !

[Meatunnel69]

It make sense kind of like playing hard to get when someone has to work for something instead of it landing in their lap it’s worth vastly more. It’s called negativity bias. You like them they push you way and then you become obsessed.

[SirJohn42]

Its a kink as long as your ok with it. Women like to be dominated.

[Pete671]

No it's just a kink, enjoy it but please be careful about choking,

[JessieBellll]

Same herr

[Luckycharms12]

Quite a number of girls and guys like it. I like to push the limits so seem normal to me

[andy530]

It is a common kink yes. Not weird at all

[Valnac]

You are right, that is normal kink to some girls.
Me personally, I respect women and would never do that to her.

[Dantezam]

It isn't as long as it make you feel comfortable with your partner, you shouldn't feel bad about it

[CapitalismFailed]

It's more common than your third wave feminists think. But beware! A guy who pushes you around and calls you a slut is likely just an abuser.

[Waldoe]

it is a type of Kink, and pretty common, just be sure the guy isn't a serial killer and have fun

[anylolone]

Well, it reveals something about your personality, about what you want in a partner.
If someone can be like this to someone they supposedly love or at least are intimate with, imagine with someone they don't have such intimacy.

Well, that's what you are sellecting for. Congratulations, you are sellecting for a source violence by proxy, what do you want to use it for it's up to you.

[Seppel]

No it only means you are submissive

[Jmmmfi4]

I think its hot too

[MrStud4u]

No, it is not

[Anonymous]

Sex can be a bit illogical.
This wouldn't bother me...