Is it normal to lust for others while being in a relationship?

Question

Basically being attracted to other people too.

XRabbitHeartX · Accepted Answer

Depends entirely on your definition of lust. While yes, in a relationship you will encounter others and think okay they are attractive, it shouldn't really reach a level where you are thinking and fantasizing of them AFTER seeing them. If the thought of this person keeps lingering on even when you are with your current partner (whom should be your absolute main focus) then something isn't right somewhere. I never catch myself thinking of anyone else other than my partner when I am with them. Yes here and there I may notice a attractive man when I am out and about but it ends there and I don't think much about it afterwards. Like the order day I was watching a live performance of Shawn Mendes on Youtube and I was like "uhm okay this guy is really cute" and then when I finished watching the video, it was over and done and at the end my boyfriend is on my mind MUCH MUCH more than any other man. I also do not wish to sleep with any other man other than my partner and I don't think sexually of other men or desire or entertain fantasies of sleeping with another man.

9teen · Accepted Answer

I don't know about others but I personally turn asexual towards anyone else. I'm not interested nor attracted to any other guy, no matter how good-looking. I think it has to do with the mind. If you believe you're attracted to someone else, it will happen. That's why it's necessary to push away that thought immediately, instead of feeding it. It's all an illusion and you do not really feel attracted but you make yourself believe that until you fall. Also if you don't feel sexually attracted to your s/o then that might be the reason why you get those thoughts.
It's important to date someone who attracts you and to be focused on him only. You'll see, you won't feel attracted to others.

LittleLila · Accepted Answer

It's totally normal to lust after people other than your partner. When my partner sees a girl who is more attractive than me walking past I'm sure they acknowledge that they are attractive, and we all wanna fuck sexy people :P just depends on whether you actually go through with it or not. It's ok to see someone and think they're attractive, it's just not ok to do anything about that attraction.

seekingadvice90 · Accepted Answer

Being in a relationship doesn't stop your eyes from working. As song as your committed and don't act on thinking that another person is attractive, it's ok to recognize another human as attractive, or even masturbate while thinking about somebody other than you partner (like a celebrity)

nightdrot · Accepted Answer

Sure, sexual attraction is an evolutionary instinct. Boiled down to its essentials it is the instinctive and primal desire to reproduce - and it is how the species has survived for several hundred thousand years.

However, that does not mean that we necessarily want to indulge it. If you see a physically attractive person, that attraction - and the concomitant implicit desire to have sex with that person simply happens.

The actual act of having sex with that person, however, is a choice. We transcend our instincts - or not - and opt not to have sex with that person based on our emotional attachment to the person we are with.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

On a low level, sure. By that, I mean looking, and maybe some occasional fantasizing.

To the point when you're actively pursuing other people, it's not rare, but it's not common, and it's not socially acceptable in most relationships.

BlueCoyote · Answer

It is socially frowned upon in western culture but biologically speaking, it is actually the norm. Being sexually monogamous isn't "normal" in a naturalistic sense.

lotv56 · Answer

Well i'm going to control myself. I wouldn't be able to do it without feeling guilty though. I do notice hot guys but that's all, I just notice. I'm not going to be fantasizing. I will choose to love my boyfriend because I tell myself that my boyfriend is actually the hottest to me <3

Alex31 · Answer

Lol. People, seeing the results, don't even ask again who's the cheater gender.

taytayasks · Answer

I'm a serial monogamist, but I believe it depends on the couple and their situation. They could be a polyamorous couple, or maybe they are in an open relationship, or not faithful to each other in general. In my experience I never really found anyone but my partner to be sexually attractive, though I would be able to tell if a person a was good looking. I just wouldn't lust after them.

TheAngryAddict · Answer

It's normal to have thoughts at least in passing about others. But if it's truly lust then there's probably something going on in your relationship that isn't leaving you satisfied. If there's nothing like that then you may just need to find what is right for you. There are people who have open relationships and if you are open and up front about that with your significant other that can potentially be ok. You need to figure out what satisfies you and makes you happy.

Losalt · Answer

Yes. Just don't act on it without your partners consent.

VegetaSSB · Answer

Yep it is common to be physically and even emotionally attracted to other people, but you have to learn how to control yourself and not give to those impulses.

Logorithim · Answer

Yes, it is. Acting on it is not, though.  Truth is, we always notice people we find attractive and many, if not most, of us imagine having sex with them.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

It is normal for men to be attracted to other women when they are in a committed relationship. Faithful men don't have an immunity to the charms of other women; they just don't respond to them!

Sheyhoney · Answer

I think its normal, but you have to be respectful about it if you're in a relationship unless both partners agree to be in an "open relationship" type thing, which is personally not my style since im kind of a jealous bitxh😂. But you do you loves 😊

thearabian123789 · Answer

If you are married, no! That's very dangerous, it starts with a thought and builds to a will then to an action, if you don't stop the nasty thoughts then you are in the urge of cheating on your wife.

Precious tip: Don't even gaze at other women is you might find them attractive, very effective and heart purifing, but, i know, easy said than done.

ChronicThinker · Answer

Yes, it is. What's not normal is wanting to be with someone else altogether to the point of being unhappy. Just thinking someone is hot isn't wrong.

abc3643 · Answer

Well, not that guy with the doofus hair.

SwankyJon · Answer

You'll always find other people attractive or not, done people are objectively attractive. But whether you think of them sexually or fantasize or whatever us something altogether.

JimRSmith · Answer

Yeah, you don't go blind just because you're in a relationship.  What you do is exercise some restraint and self control. It really isn't that hard.

stephaniemoonstone · Answer

its totally normal to lust for other men whilst in a relationship, its just being human. simply if you see someone attractive you will have a lust for them it is not a choice. You can look and fantasise maybe even be friends with them but that depends on circumstance. This is not considered cheating so your partner should not get angry.

Pamina · Answer

Completely normal. Being in a relationship doesn't (or shouldn't) mean you're not a sexual creature anymore. What matters is how you handle these feelings. Do you accept them as what they are just leave it that or do you act on them? If it's the first, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

davidrees · Answer

It's completely fine to have a crush and lust after people while in a relationship. As long as nobody acts on it and it passes, it's just a little harmless fantasy.

People who want their partner to only think about them and never look at another, are kidding themselves.

Joker22 · Answer

It happens but it shouldn't

cherryphi82 · Answer

Very normal.

zulfiqarali · Answer

No it means you are not satisfied what you have and deep down you want better and someday in future at a weak moment you can go for it so be clear to yourself and the one u with.. donot hurt him.. you can like celebrities it's another thing but what u thinking is dangerous

Miristheiss · Answer

For the sake of precision of language, you used the word "lust" not simply "noticing", so based on your terminology no it is not normal.

"Noticing" is just seeing and being aware that that guy is handsome or that woman is really beautiful. Everyone does that. You used the word "lust" and that is a willful act. That is stopping and really staring and looking at them 4 times, 5 times... etc. and starting to dwell on thoughts of them and picturing them naked and thinking about touching them and being with them. People actively choose whether to lust after someone or not.

Everyone notices attractive people.

findingdreamland-1 · Answer

No in my experience. I simply cannot. You can find them attractive when you see a handsome boy but lust is something different.

Cuintan · Answer

I think monogamy is a myth. It would be weird not to attracted to more than person at a time.

Malita55 · Answer

Lusting while in a relationship just means you aren’t satisfied or you are a piece of shit. It’s completely normal to find other people attractive while in a relationship, but fantasizing about other people or staring at other people is NOT OKAY, and NOT NORMAL. Guys who do that or even girls who do that are immature, and disgusting human beings

thisGuyDanny · Answer

I don't know if it's normal or not but I can tell you that it's not a good thing.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Nope not normal to lust for others when were in relationships.

HikerDude · Answer

It is for me. I think it has to do with your sex drive, the higher it is, the more you'll want to do business with new people.

kaskas19 · Answer

I don't think so. I've never done it.

ravedave · Answer

Yeah of course it is. Most people can't just magically shut off the part of your brain that finds people attractive, that's just not how it works haha.

jessture · Answer

It's one of those things people try to pretend doesn't happen, but lets be real. We are human, and there will always be attractive humans and we will always notice them. It's called biology. Anyone who pretends otherwise probably pretends they don't poop either

es20490446e · Answer

Only if you are unsatisfied with your current partner.

Genki · Answer

I do have that feelings in certain occasions, especially close proximity.

Vulture051 · Answer

Normal, but you can't act on it. You can look but you can't touch.

Doggo123 · Answer

It’s normal to find others attractive but to fantasize about others must mean you’re with the wrong person

TheMostMelloJello · Answer

Depends if you simply think that they look attractive or lust after them sexually.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Admiring the view is normal. Trying to have the view is not abnormal but wrong.

2plus2is4 · Answer

no not really

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

Finding other people attractive? That's fine. Lusting? That's another level.

DiegoO · Answer

I go with NO. If you really feel complete with your partner, the only one you will lust is your partner.

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

Lol uhm, yes. It's incredibly normal.

Aynsof · Answer

A physical attraction is pretty much an autonomic response hormones feromones and whatnot and that is quite normal Anything beyond that is a choice

chrisbigman · Answer

It depends on what you consider normal. Is it morally okay? No. But normal? Perhaps. Some people would consider it normal, while others don't.

Aroso · Answer

I won't support cheaters.

cfreshh · Answer

Well were all human here and it's natural to have feelings towards someone. Being in a relationship is just a title not a condition. It's all based on you though.

JonDoe1985 · Answer

To those who voted 'no' are dellusional. I get in the begining of a relationship you might thing the world of the person with you, but eventually that honeymoon phase will shed away.

clampfan101 · Answer

It doesn’t always happen, but sadly yes.

OpenWine · Answer

it's fine to be attracted to other people. in some relationships to even sex other people. depending on how you've set the boundaries you either stay loyal or both agree on fucking around

Rudon30 · Answer

It's not healthy at ll to do so

Decentguy · Answer

Im not sure about if its normal or not, but its certainly and definitely very disgusting, If you lust for others while being in a relationship, then you should leave your current partner, because you dont love him/her, because if you really did loved the first one, you wouldn't fall for the second one.

Krumpir · Answer

No it is not. Finding someone good looking if you are in relationship is okay, but being attracted is not. Get your stuff right people!

Urstupid · Answer

Lusting for others while in a relationship means your not satisfied with your partner. People are hard to satisfy nowadays, and dont know what they want. Lusting after others while in a relationship is a sign of immaturity.

Kelly6 · Answer

Yes it’s normal You can’t stop it actually

hotstuffSRD · Answer

Umm sounds wrong

BonnieBunny · Answer

That's not good

Furuok · Answer

Happiness should be fulfilling or it's lonelyness

BadAssHunter · Answer

No. It means you're not faithful and can't be in a comitted relationship. Also means your bf/gf husband/wife isn't good enough to you.. n

adistantthunder · Answer

It means you're not satisfied. People will try to justify it all kinds of ways, but it really is that simple. Doesn't necessarily mean you should break up, but you should be honest with yourself and your partner.