Is it really wrong to identify myself as a Feminist and still choose to give BJ to guy I am dating?

I have seen so many tweets and post on reddit calling it out. They say girls who are feminist should never perform that act because it's "derogatory".

I do believe in equality and work for it but sexually I am extremely submissive, to the point where I have even been on leash and literally walked on my fours.

Am I the one wrong here to be sexually submissive?

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Superb Opinion

  • It's not unusual for 'feminist' women to be sexually submissive in the bedroom. In fact, I think it was Time magazine that literally wrote an article about this almost a decade ago, noting how there are many 'feminist' women in positions of career power and success who are still sexually frustrated because they are so dominant in their outward/public lives but still desire to be submissive or treated like garbage in the bedroom. They interviewed women who were just like that for their article.

    Reason being that deep down, women still have the feminine desire to be submissive/dominated even when they are acting fierce and machisma in their careers, in public, on paper, etc. So there's nothing wrong with you wanting to give head. Although I am one of few people who believes that women giving blowjobs is dominance, but I believe men eating women is also dominance - and it should be that way, for both sides. Whoever is doing the pleasing is the dominant one in my mind, but either way, you're fine.

    • Thank you for answering, that was really helpful. Guess I am just overthinking about it.

    • Yeah. Just enjoy your natural feminine urges. You gotta have those too.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Quit listening to these fools trying to brain wash you with this trash.

    Just go live your life and be a good person. Quit listening to ideologs whose are hell bent are putting people at war with each other and looking for 1,000 hidden ways people are really victims and oppressed and should hate a class of people.

    Two people in love who are attracted to each other are free to just explore each other and give and receive touching they both enjoy. You two just do what you like to each other.

    F the psychos out there.

Most Helpful Girls

  • Nearly the opposite. A real opinion of feminists is, that your personal sexual choice shouldn't lead to you being anything less. The ONLY important part about your sexual history (aside anything legal) is, that it was your choice and not forced upon you. If it was your choice, you can be submissive, like BJs etc. and it shouldn't matter. It doesn't free you from consequences like stds or pregnancies they are still yours to deal with but doesn't make you less of a person.

    What that person did was kind of similar to "slut-shaming" which is literally a huge point feminists advocate against.

  • I think if he's giving you head you should reciprocate. Seems only fair, and vice versa. No head? No service. Lol I don't think it makes you any less feminist to want to take care of someone you love. Feminism in my view should be about choice and freedom of choice. Not some rigid structure of how a woman is supposed to be. Same goes for toxic masculinity. People shouldn't be put in boxes, and should be allowed to live life how they want (provided it's legal and doesn't hurt anyone).

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • i don't know i really don't know would a feminist wear shortskirts and get on their knees to give blowjobs... how do we get feminists to answer this question?

    • Many feminist would answer "No" to that but again I am pretty sure behind closed doors they enjoy it too. I personally love to "doll up" for my guy and love when he makes me feel like an object of desire.

    • oh god i love that too!!

  • What? No. being a feminist has nothing to do with sucking dicks.

  • Most feminist are very submissive in the bedroom. It's like they crave the opposite of what they preach. Possibly deep down they know the feminist stuff is a joke and that men should really be in control.

  • I think that it's funny, sucking cock and being on leash, yea it's sure sounds very feminist.

  • Sex is for fun - except in the rare cases where its just done to procreate. Enjoy whatever you and your partner enjoy, what is done in the bedroom has NOTHING to do with what happens in the rest of life.

    Sex is only an issue if someone feels pressured to do something they don't want to do.

    IMHO, BJs are no more or less degrading than any form of sex.

  • Girl no, there is nothing wrong with that! Giving your man head is just a way to show that you love and appreciate him, as well as desire him. That’s healthy! There is nothing derogatory about it. And you can still be submissive in bed without compromising your beliefs. It’s all in fun, after all!

  • I hope those same "feminist" women are demanding that men never go down on them.

  • Feminists say that doing ANYTHING beneficial for a man or talking good about men is derogatory. Don't follow their BS, because it's gonna leave them bitter and single.

  • I don’t think anyone really knows who they really are , we can pretend to be something we aren’t but we are who we are is what it all comes down to , we all come from different paths in life , so to me we all all humans living on this earth trying to survive and find happiness and love before we drop dead , So if you like running around and saying you are a feminist , more power to you , if it makes ya happy it makes ya happy , I just treat people the same way I want to be treated , that’s all I can do , when it comes to relationships , I treat her the way I want to be treated If she stays loyal and loving to me I will do the same , when it comes to sex i prefer to be dominate but it’s nice to switch it up to keep the spark alive , I do love a girl that loves to be submissive to me , which is very sexy and a turn on , so I would do my best to keep her by my side but if she chooses to walk away , I tried , that’s all we can do as humans

  • Nope. Feminism is literally just about wanting equality between men and women. That's it. You can suck dick, get railed, have kids etc. And be a feminist. Hell you can be a housewife too. It doesn't matter. Wanting equality transcends all that shit.

  • Is it really wrong to identify myself as a Feminist and still choose to give BJ to guy I am dating?There are Misandrist Feminists (Feminazi's) and there are traditional believers in equal opportunities and equal access. You sound the latter to me. You should have equal opportunity to give a BJ and equal access to a penis if you want them.

    Am I the one wrong here to be sexually submissive?No. Its called free choice. Feminism should not prevent that.

  • No, that's not wrong at all. In fact, the most ardently feminist women I know are also some of the most submissive in bed. I don't know why women insist on being so shitty to each other about stuff like this

  • Nope, the two have no connection.

  • pleasing ur partner is not "being submissive". this question makes me think that one that enjoys receiving pleasure from their partner is being dominant. ur head is scrwed on wrong. in a relationship you should seek your partner's pleasure and enjoy it when they are pleased. that's not submissive.

  • The whole point of womens rights is you get the power and option to choose. Does being submissive make you happy or sad? If happy then you are choosing that right?

  • You kinda are, if you give all of that to a man without him giving anything to you.
    I mean, he can walk at any time and he will have gotten to use your body completely. And you will have nothing.

  • You're not in the wrong. You can be a feminist and enjoy whatever you enjoy sexually, the two are not incompatible

  • You are wrong for being a feminist.

  • I think it's anti-feminist to prescribe what other women can and can't do. If it's something you want to do, and you can certainly engage in this in a dominant way if you want, then that's the most feminist thing you can do, live your life undefined by others!

  • Sounds like you stumbled across some "Clementine Ford" types. Equality Feminists don't care what you choose to do as a couple.

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