Is it true sex life decreases as couples get older and age? Is that why couples grow apart?

I’ve heard of this happening to some people like they grow older and have less sex or none at all. I’m 25 years old and have a healthy sex life with my man despite us not having a place and I’m full of energy of course because I’m young but I never wanna be that stuck up old woman who never wants to please her man or stops. No offense to older people but that’s crazy… sex is an important part of a relationship I know it’s not everything but being intimate is a huge bonding experience and connecting. I know I won’t be as young when I’m 60 or 70 but I wanna do my best still and love on my fiance as much as I did at 25 even if it won’t be rough, crazy sex like now once I’m old lol.

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  • I will probably get all kinds of hell for this, but from what I see in my neighbors and friends (although I don't know about their sex lives) I see couples, both husband and wife lose control of their bodies at early stages in their marriage or relationship. Maybe not the whole reason, but certainly part of it.

    Jobs and career certainly are a big block to having an active sex life, and I have watched my own BFF become a selfish asshole with his once very attractive wife. That said, he was always a selfish asshole, but that is not true for everyone, of course.

    I know there is NO single answer to the question. I have had sex with married women on several occasions, and never bothered to question just why, it just was.

    I personally lost interest in sex with my wife, because I had enough experience with sex to know that, for her, sex was a 'validation' for her attractiveness (or so I thought) rather than her really enjoying sex per se.

    She said she had fucked 30 men before we married, but that did not reflect in her own enjoyment of it.

    Shitty answer, I know, Paula, but I don't have a solid answer for questions like this and probably no one does.

Most Helpful Guy

  • When women get older, they have a head-on collision with menopause. Your testosterone level will drop radically and that causes a lack of libido in women. It can be treated with hormone replacement therapy unless you are at risk for breast cancer, because HRT seems to trigger the development of breast cancer in women who have some genetic predisposition.

    When men get older, they may develop prostate problems which interfere with their ability to have a satisfactory orgasm.

    And both sexes, as they age, may develop high blood pressure or diabetes and both of those common diseases are associated with loss of libido, caused mainly by side effects from treatment.

    If you manage to avoid those diseases (as I have,) you may still have a strong libido in your late 60s and even into your 80's. You probably won't want to engage in sex as often, and you certainly won't do it seven times in one night (as I did when I was younger,) but you will still get immense satisfaction from a sexual relationship with your partner.

    Older people who are no longer having sex usually have one of these conditions that deprives them of the desire or the ability to engage in sex. They aren't stupid; you just have more to learn about the aging process.

Most Helpful Girls

  • I imagine it largely boils down to familiarity boredom or any number of factors. Sometimes the libido just turns off. My husband and I have been together since we were young 20s. We try and keep sex interesting. We are both giant perverts. So that helps. Though I will admit that since our 3rd son was born. I'm struggling to keep up with the hubbies sexual needs. It's mostly due to the age gap of our kids. My newest is is just over a year old. His next oldest brother is 7. So I had kinda for gotten how much work babies can be. Plus I'm still breast feeding him. So full time work will time wife full time mom. Full time milk cow is causing me to lack in other places.

    • Do you mind if I ask you for some advice on it? I am really new to it all, and a bit insecure about some things.

    • @SongBirrd I guess.

  • Men sexually peak young where as its in their 30s for women and then you have the menopause and then you start to decline depending on how kind your body reacts to the change.

    I can only hope that this isn't true. Because yes sex is the bonding glue for couples but what makes a relationship strong is the love and the friendship you share.
    I think for some people drift apart just because... I don't hate old friends I no longer speak to, we just grew apart.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • They say that guys peak sexually at 18, however at 52, I'm as horny as ever and if I had the time, and a willing partner of course, I'd be getting off three times a day. Also I'm healthy and in shape so my libido is through the roof. I hope that gives you some inspiration for your golden years!

  • From what I've heard from other women. It's usually because the wife loses attraction for her husband. It's not usually a energy issue or anything like that

    • It's both. Especially after kids. And then some wives with unusually high drive become hotwives others more faithful just take it to the Chin

    • @AmeerX yeah my sex drive has gone wayyy up after each kid

    • It's normal and healthy to feel like you do

  • Men become physically less capable as they get older but their minds don't get any less horny. Whereas women become more physically capable. The sex is there if the woman is willing to work for it but most aren't and instead just express disappointment. But men, being defensive about their physical abilities in general, tend to try to blame the woman instead of accepting that they are getting older. This leads to rifts as women are well aware that as they get older they are less classically attractive and so "know" they are to blame but don't want to accept it since they can't really do anything about it.

  • If you have a real marriage there is just a security and support arrangement for children there is no "Grow apart".

    If you want to be best friends with your spouse thats great but it is not a part of or condition of a real marriage.

    If either of you are instead marred only to that 'friendship' and feelings you were never married at all. Seriously PAY ATTENTION TO THE VOWS!

    A husband or wife does NOT exist to make you happy! They don't exist to be your best friend, they are your partner.

  • Nah. Wives stop sex long before then and that is when couples grow apart..

    Listened on a YT video, to a woman recalling how should calculate that she had given her husband sex on that date so she should be able to get away till this date before she had to do it again.

  • Sex frequency does gradually go down as we got older. That is no excuse though not to be intimate with each other however. We still make out, play with each other and do "favors" for each other.

  • It really is more a function of having kids.

  • 40% of men have erectile dysfunction by the time they are 40 and very few seek treatments for it.

  • yes it decreases but that's not why couples grow apart.

  • It’s called menopause 😬😞

  • Couples grow apart because of lack of effort, not lack of sex, although the two may affect each other. Some decrease is natural. I mean, three times a day is ambitious at 25, let alone 45…

  • Wait until you have a couple of kids and get no sleep for a few years and see what happens to your desire for sex. Both biologically and also from the aspect of boredom, you will eventually change your view. That doesn't necessarily mean there will be no sex, but it will change its character. If the relationship is good it becomes more about closeness then about sex itself at some point. It's great when a relationship is new... hot and sticky. But it changes in nature over time when you have sex with the same person year after year.

  • It is not necessarily why couple grow apart, but yes, it is unrealistic to expect to be chasing each other around the bedroom every night in your 70's. Though that doesn't mean you can't still have a sex life at that age and beyond, just not at the same level.

  • In married life, women treat sex as a chore anyway after having kids. Even after having one kid. Wait till they hit 40. I don't care what they claim. It WILL die.

  • I can’t speak for married couples, but as a single guy in early 50’s, I have sex 4-5 times a week and still love it.

  • You're just 25 n giving lecture about sex to 60-70yrs old people?
    Lol they are having sex since you didn't even born.. just focus on your sex life.

    • I’m not giving a lecture I’m just saying like it’s a common denominator that people lose interest in sex it seems as they get older… im not trying to beat anyone down it’s just a sad fact is all if they lose the love or someone cheats because of lack of sex obviously you don’t realize people don’t communicate no more these days lol

    • Also *weren't. “Didnt even born” isn’t a punctual sentence lol

    • When dick enter into pussy all love n intrest fly away from butt hole... It's your first relationship?

  • Of course it decreases

    But personalities can grow together

    As long as they remain friends

  • Couples that were together only because of physical attraction will grow apart because as they get olde they will become less physically and sexually attractive. Couples that are together for more than just sex will not grow apart just because they start to look older. But they can still grow apart for other reasons. And yes, studies have shown older couples have less sex than younger couples.

  • I find that being single at 57 years old that it is hard to find a women that wants sex without wanting a serious relationship where do I find women wanting the same thing

  • My wife is older than me and now we haven’t had sex for awhile. She says she is too old. I love her and don’t want to leave her but I definitely don’t feel as close to her anymore.

    • How much older is she? I’m 25 and my man is 18 he’ll be 19 in march of next year but I when he’s 45 and I’m 52 I still want plenty of sex.

    • When we married I was 28 and she was 38. Now I’m 52 she is 62.

    • Awww that’s beautiful still 10 years isn’t bad tbh. When I’m 28 he’ll be 21 lol. I mean honestly there’s girls 20 and with a 40-50 year old man and it’s like okay I get it it’s legal but a man is gonna age out much quicker than her I feel like people try to normalize the older man and younger woman age difference but some people are hypocrites when it’s the other way around. I’d rather have a younger man any day.

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