Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Is this flirty female friend into me? Am I into her? Why do I sometimes fantasize about her?
Anonymous
There's this girl at my uni who is fun and I have become friends with. She is this talkative BLONDE and I do think she loves ATTENTION. I like how she is outgoing, but not how she seems to use people. She recently got out of a long distance relationship and started to date someone else at uni. But during both she has been very flirty with me (in terms of touching, texting me, seemingly jealous when I talk to other girls). I think she likes how I listen to her and give her attention? In the past she shows her cleavage when hugging me and put her feet on my lap and things like that. I didn't really see her in a sexual way, but as a friend. When she touches me like that though, I do occasionally think about her? I don't think I fancy her (I have a crush on someone else at uni), but when I was meeting up with her for dinner one day, I thought she did look hot in her dress. For some reason, when I sat opposite her, she asked me whether I could come and sit next to her instead, "so she could be close to me". Then whilst eating, it's something about her mouth, the way she licks her fingers, it's kinda a turn on? She put her bare feet on my lap at one point and I really felt aroused by it. I'm meeting her again soon. Thing is this, is she trying to keep me as a BACKUP? She doesn't seem keen for me to meet a hot girl who I like and she knows. For some reason, I find it hot to masturbate about this blonde friend. I don't think I fancy her. I really don't see her as my type. And I'm a virgin and so don't want to get off with her. I feel guilty because it's like she has me as a backup and it feels dirty to think about her, but I LIKE IT for some reason? I mean I masturbated about her twice yesterday, and I feel HORNY if I see her picture? I don' see her as a girlfriend though. I am annoyed because I seem to find thinking about her MORE AROUSING than my crush? Thinking about this blonde friend giving me head is so hot? Is she into me? Am I into her/advice?
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Updates:
+1 y
PLEASE GIVE A REASON FOR WHICH WAY YOU VOTE. Whilst I enjoy her company as a friend, I don't think I fancy her and I certainly don't see her as a girlfriend or want her to be my first. The sexual desire/arousal about her is really strong though. I found a p*rnstar who looks like her and find it really hot to fantasize about. Why do I find blondie AROUSES ME SO QUICKLY? Why does she seem keen that I don't date and meet up with her instead? What was with the FEET ON LAP and SUCKING?
+1 y
Do I like this blonde friend (L)? Why do I seem to enjoy masturbating about her now? It seems to be only her giving me head that really turns me on. I prefer a different girl, and I have fantasized about her as well. It's just that what L did, when I replay that, it turns me on so much quicker than anything? Is this what she wants? How to think about my other crush again and what do you suggest doing?
+1 y
Let's call blonde friend L and a girl I like V. Thing is I want a girl more like V and think she is prettier and nicer. It's after L did these things that I began to replay them in my mind and feel turned on. I guess this is what she wanted to stop me thinking about V? At a dinner with friends discussing girls I could meet, one person suggested L introduce me to V. "SHE'S NOT HIS TYPE" L said and changes the subject quickly? I need L's help to meet V who is on L's course! ADVICE?
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What Girls & Guys Said
41 5you are into her and she is into you !
How can you be sure I'm into her though? Thing is I don't want to fancy her, I prefer my crush. It's just that I find it more arousing to masturbate about blond girl? After she sucked her finger, I can't stop thinking about her giving me head? And what is she trying?
Your reasoning?
I love the thought of her sucking me off. It's a hotter fantasy than anything else. But I prefer a different girl who is more my type? Thoughts?
What makes you say that?
do whatever you want its up to you i dont know how to help you
Then why say I'm into her? Based on what?
She's a manipulator. I don't care if you masterbate to her or not. But I wouldn't suggest a relationship. She's probably easily able to flit with other guys too.
Agreed. Despite being my friend she is manipulating me isn't she? I don't want a relationship with her. But I can't understand why I love to masterbate about her rather than my crush now? How did she do this and what should I do? I literally love the thought of her sucking me off now.. Advice?
Probably because it's subconsciously scandalous, she's hot, the idea of wanting something that you can't have, and sex outside of a relationship you want with a girl.
That's true. I'm not in a relationship though. But it does feel a little scandalous. I feel dirty thinking about her, but in a hot dirty way? Does that mean deep down I desire her? But I don't fancy her, and feel angry at her trying to control me as some type of backup. Also I find another girl much prettier and gf type. This girl, tho, why do I keep imagining her giving me a bj?
Is there a way to just get head from her?
You liked the idea that she shows attention to you. It is not necessarily love but i can turn into one. Everyone loves being admire and starts to consider their own feelings. You should ask yourself. You are the only one who can %100 percent say if you are in love or not
I guess I do like how she shows that attention. But she seems like a real attention seeker tbh. I really don't 'feel' anything for her, and certainly don't fancy her. L doesn't seem like a gf to me and is not my type. I much prefer girls like V who for one sounds awesome and secondly i think is much prettier than L. L seems like a hot kinda dirty? I don't know why I fantasize about how she sucked her finger? It really turns me on to imagine her doing that? I know I am not in love with her, but why do I find it so arousing to think about her and get hornier quicker thinking about L? What do you make of what she said about V in the last update? Thoughts?
I am not in love with L. I also prefer V, so why do I enjoy masturbating about L?
U know natural attraction exists between opposite gender. If any girl will be in your company u will still be attracted to her. So it, s mine advice to u is leave her and think about ur relationship with your crush. U are a romantic person so that's why u are falling for her. u want love and care. Get into a relationship.
So you think it's because she touched me that I feel this sexual desire for her? Because at the moment, I fancy someone else (V). I don't want to fancy my blonde friend (L). But for some reason I find masturbating about L way hotter than thinking about V or anyone else? I don't think I am falling for L, but I seem to enjoy the intense arousal that comes from seeing her or fantasizing about her? I don't want her to be my first or date L though, so what do you suggest?
i suggest u leave her and go for your crush. u should keep it mind she is opposite gender and u can get attracted to a everyday girl. for ur relationship leave her
Thing is I'm not with her, she's my friend. Why is she doing these things and why do I like them? I prefer my crush (V). I think my crush is hotter, but yet now I have started to fantasize about blonde L. In fact it feels hot to masturbate about her and I enjoy it more? Thoughts? I have been avoiding her, but still fantasize and enjoy masturbating about L rather than someone else?
Why do I like masturbating about L?
Two words: attention whore. She loves the attention you give her, she is being a tease. Those types of girls are about good for a lay and that's it. They usually are very dramatic too. I think it's funny she gets jealous that you talk to other girls, you aren't her boyfriend. Continue with your daily life, you aren't in a relationship with her, continue your friendship with her if you like, but if it makes you uncomfortable then cut it off. Karma will be the one to get her since she's in a relationship.
Thanks! You are SO RIGHT! She definitely is an attention whore. She seems to also want to prevent my happiness by not letting me meet a hot girl on her course? Let call blonde girl L and my actual crush V. I mean I have been keeping calm and continuing as normal. Resisting L I think has made her try to tease more. That's when she sucked her finger which I found hot. Thing is I want a girl more like V. It's after L did these things that I began to replay them in my mind and feel turned on. I guess this is what she wanted to stop me thinking about V? Interesting that she seemed to stop me meeting V saying "she's not his type" when at a dinner with friends. I want to avoid her. It's difficult. After she did that, I almost yearn for it or is it just the sexual feeling I liked? I ended up masturbating about her and liking the fantasy but it feels dirty. I don't like her personality and was going to stop being friends. Trouble is I needed her help to meet V. Thoughts?
If V goes to school with you I'm sure you will see her around and you can introduce herself. You don't need Ls help. Ever hear the phrase "we want what we can't have?" Well L is reveling in the fact that she knows she is teasing you and turning you on, it's like a game to her. Of course it's normal to be turned on, especially if she's attractive, you are a dude after all. But honestly she sounds annoying how you describe her and immature. I say move in for V and screw what L thinks, don't let her manipulate you anymore.
Agreed. Do you mean L or me in having what we can't have? Is she teasing or does she want me? I get confused.. I mean her feet on my lap felt so goood. I wish she would do it again. I also really really LOVED it when she sucked her finger. For some reason, I find fantasizing about L sucking more arousing than anything else or any other girl that I enjoy masturbating about her? I wish I saw V, but V is on L's course. And there are thousands of people on campus. L if she was my friend could help me, as I don't know where V hangs out, and L got invited to V's birthday, but yet didn't invite her back to her own at my halls. Was is so we didn't meet? L is an attention seeker and does seem immature I agree. It's odd that she has had a relationship behaving like this! What do you suggest I do about V and what to do about my thoughts of L? It feels dirty, but why do I enjoy masturbating about her now.. I mean I get horny at her picture now and wish she would put her feet on me again?
I mean as in her wanting what she can't have. I don't think L is going to ever help you meet V as she gets jealous about you talking to her or other girls so if anything L is going to try and prevent you from meeting V. What you do in private as far as masturbation is your own business, I wouldn't worry about that since you claimed you don't want to lose your virginity to L anyways.
Ah I see. Yes you have a point. I feel so sad so she won't help me meet V? I really had hoped I could since we might hit it off and there are so few girls like V on campus. What will L help me with? Is she just friends with me to fulfil her attention seeking and then leave me? Isn't that a little selfish? I don't think I fancy her, but deep down do I want her or did she plant that there? I get that these are private thoughts, but I'm worried why I suddenly think about L and find it hotter than thinking of V? Is this what she wants? Would she be happy to know I'm masturbating about her and for some reason loving it - it's the hottest fantasy I have atm?
People are selfish in general
So it's unlikely she'll help me to meet V then? What to do about this selfish attention seeking friend? How/should I remove her from my fantasies?
So I have no chance of meeting V?
Thoughts on what to do?
Advice pls?
Omg this situation is exactly what I went through. No Joke! You were the one who asked if I could help you. Ok this is what I think I think your sexually attracted to her I think she is trying to get your attention because that's what a lot of girls do they try to show you what they got meaning{Cleavage} to impress you. That is one of a classic attention seeker The guy I knew he would put his feet on my lap im not sure what that means im sorry but yeah
Really? Omg, maybe you can help then cos I'm confused by this whole situation? Thing is I don't want her and I don't know why I fantasized about her? Why do I seem to find it hot to think about L and what do you make of what she said about V (see last update)? Is she trying to get in my head?
Thoughts?
She just wants to have fun. If she's dating someone else, most likely she'll probably cheat on him too. I was in her shoes. I would always just want the attention and I left my ex- boyfriend for another guy because of it. I felt horrible of course.. But if you don't see her as anything more, I don't see why flirting with her back could be a problem. Just maybe keep your distance a bit if she ever disappears...
I mean we do flirt, she seems to mention she used to strip for some reason? And I always tell her I'm ok if she wants to suddenly. Also what is with her sucking her finger or putting her feet on my lap? Ioved it? Could you check out the latest update pls on what she (let's call her L) said about my crush (V)? Why is it I masturbate about her? I mean literally L is the most arousing fantasy I have that I love it? I get horny thinking about how she sucked her finger and imagine her giving me a bj. Plus I love to get off whilst looking at her picture as if she's looking at me? But then why do I not want to cum about L? Do I desire her deep down? Then why do I not want to like her and it feels dirty? I also feel angry about her trying to control me... is this why I imagine her being submissive?
Thoughts?
Do you think a part of you may have feelings for her? You could possibly just like her company. Fantasizing about her is normal for any guy. You just love the image of her. Hang out with her more to see where you both stand. Be friends with her first so you can get to know her. Don't do anything too fast unless you're looking for friends with benefits type of thing with emotions out if the way. You're a horny guy and it's normal. :)
I'm pretty sure I don't have feelings for L. I do like V though. Reasons being for L that I don't like her personality and how she wants attention all the time. She talks way too much and seems to want to be in between me and other girls often? Also sometimes she says very silly things that are personal to me and I find offensive. Yet whilst I stood up to her, I didn't have a go at her and I don't know why? I liked hanging out with her (I've been avoiding her since she was offensive) but more so just to look at her? I don't really feel I would miss her if she was gone at all and certainly don't want to be life long friends with such a person who I feel holds me back in my social life. Thing is I do fancy V and what do you make of what L said in the last update? Why is it though that I get horny thinking about what she did and I imagine her being submissive? I mean last night I got horny at her picture and masturbated to her? But I don't like to cum about L?
It feels dirty hot to think about her, I don't know why it gets me aroused so quickly. Thoughts on all of this?
Thoughts pls?
I think she likes the attention... I am not saying a part of her doesn't like you as a person. I think you do provide her with a human connection that perhaps she is lacking with her other friends. But with regards to her flirting, from what you have said I think that's just her usual MO. Some people are just natural flirts. Its fun for them. So you should have fun flirting back and not think too much of it. But I would avoid starting a relationship that is more than friendship with her.
I think maybe her outgoing personality and her flirting appeals to your baser senses. There is nothing wrong with fantasizing about someone. You don't necessarily have to act on your fantasies. They are just an outlet that's all.
Thanks for the response! I agree with you totally that she likes attention. I think others find her way too talkative. I seem to tolerate her and she likes that I think. The thing is I'm a virgin and so am inexperienced with this kind of flirting! I mean I literally found myself excited when she put her feet on my lap. And when she sucked her finger at me, I can't get that out of my head now. Could you check out the latest update pls? I'm not sure what to do..
For some reason, I know I don't want L, but find it immensely hot to think about her sucking her finger? It has become the most arousing fantasy for me to masturbate about L and I feel dirty about it. Yet it feels unbelievably good to do so about HER? Also what do you make of what L is doing with regards to me meeting V? I feel like L is winning and I don't know why I find it hot to think about L over other girls? Why do i feel horny seeing her picture?
I understand that this is probably really messing with your head. Virgin or no, sexual desires are hard to control at times. The key is to understand that what you have with L is just that a physical desire. From what you have said, you are aware of her character faults but you don't mind being her friend. Which is great! The way I see it, you don't need an intro to V. If run in the same social circles, or have class with her just go up to her an strike a conversation. You got two options here: You can either be blunt with L and start a relationship with her (this will mostly be short lived), but you can gain some experience. The second option is, just be friends with her and have fun with your fantasies in your own time and approach V and see what can come off that. I honestly don't think you LIKE L to sustain a long term relationship. It's a physical infatuation. But only you can really answer what you wish to do at this point :) Hope this helps...
This helps a lot thanks so much! You really are an expert! See I wish I knew as much. The situation is really messing with me. I mean, I agree it is just physical. But I don't understand that if I don't want to fancy someone like L or for her to be my first time, why the arousal is so strong when I see her or remember her sucking her finger? It literally is unbelievable how horny I feel when I fantasize about L. I don't mind being her friend and do enjoy if she sits near me for some reason. One day she invited me to a club and texted me calling me 'sexy'. Then she was grinding someone else when there? She also texts me regularly at halls saying she would like to see me?
I do think V is prettier and feel butterflies thinking about her. But it's just that I'm not on her course (which L is). I was hoping L would help. The thing is they are in a different section of campus which only they can access. It's hard for me to meet V at all. If I saw her, I would ask her out immediately - she's a rare gem! Why did L change the subject.. is she jealous? In terms of your options.. I agree. I don't really see L as gf material. I do find the thought of her showing me how experienced she is very hot... too hot! But I am worried about my first time.
As for the second, is it ok to masturbate about her still? I really do find it hot for some reason. It feels dirty though, and I feel like she wants this? But I can't help but do it again - it feels sooo good? How to approach V though? I just need to meet her. Apparently V invited L to her birthday, but L didn't invite her back to her own at our halls? Was that deliberate? Thoughts?
I think you are far too young to be bogged down with so many thoughts about simple stuff like physical attraction. Do not be apologetic for having a human reaction. If you want to masterbate to fantasies of L go for it and have fun with it. Don't feel bad or awkward about exploring yourself. Don't over think L's actions either. If she really wants to have something with you, she needs to stop playing games and be upfront about it. Stop stressing out about "accidentally bumping" into V. If you know someone else who knows her, ask to be introduced... if not just relax and let nature take its course. In the mean time be open to other, equally amazing women out there, who are probably tying to get your attention as we speak :) Stop stressing about what L thinks. If it continues bothering you, I suggest you have a talk with her and either ask her to tone it down or ask her if she wants to try and make a relationship work (but respect her enough to give it a fair shot).
I just feel dirty for some reason for getting aroused by L? It feels like she is controlling me. I want someone like V. I just seem to get incredibly aroused by the fantasy of L. I really enjoy masturbating about her and get horny seeing her picture? It's crazy how super turned on I get thinking about L. Deep down does some part of me desire her? Why do I find the thought of L giving me a bj unbelievably hot? I want to meet V but L seems like the best bet in terms of knowing her? I kinda like seeing L as I get to look at her? But I fee angry at her keeping me as a backup? I don't see her as a gf, I see V like that. I don't know why I lust for L so much though? I want my first time to be with someone like V. The thing is I feel so aroused by L at the start of the fantasy, but regret it when finishing. But yet I enjoy thinking about her the next time? Thoughts?
P. S. I get horny seeing her picture. The initial arousal is so intense and I love getting off with her looking back at me, or remembering how she sucked her finger. But when I'm about to cum, I don't want to finish to her? Meaning? Thoughts on this and my above comment?
What do you think?
Also the thing is I don't want my first time to be with L and don't see her as relationship material? Why do I find the image of her more arousing than anything else atm? Thoughts pls?
What do you think, would appreciate your opinion?
I think you did this is just because you are lonely and she just some kind of seduced you. Though she is attractive but I don't think you really love her, you just want someone to be with you and don't want to be lonely
Ok, thanks for commenting. Thing is I didn't do anything? L started touching me up. I agree, I don't like her. I don't really think she is as attractive as V or the other girls at my uni. Did you see what L said about V in my last update? I mean I don't find her beautiful, but I find L quite a dirty kind of hot and for some reason can't stop thinking about how she sucked her finger? Is this what she wanted? Thoughts?
it sounds like your just physically attracted to her!! and that's not a bad thing at all!! if you find that actually you do like her ask her about it! ask her what she's doing and playing at! if not and you like someone else when she's all over you make an excuse to move away from her! go and talk to the girl you actually like! good luck!
Thing is I didn't think about L at all until she did those things. What do you make of what she said about V in my last update? Why is it I feel aroused seeing her picture or remembering her sucking her finger? I mean I don't like her personality but seem to feel so horny about her? I masturbated about her twice last night? What does this mean? Deep down do I desire her and what to do about V?
she is playing with you. Its obvious. I've seen lots of girls do that. don't fall for it. If I'm your crush and I found out you been hooking up with this girl, Id be pissed and don't have to have anything to do with you.
Ok so L is doing it to just tease me for her ego? Or keep me as a backup? Is that why she said she's not my type in reference to V? I need Ls help to meet V.. I feel so confused. I prefer girls like V, but after L put her feet on me, I get horny seeing her picture and keep fantasising about how she sucked her finger.. It's literally the hottest and most arousing fantasy right now? I don't want her to be my first. Why do I enjoy masturbating about her? What do you make of what she said in the update?
Well L is a bitch. She wants all the attentions she can get. She definitely is not gf material and I don't think she wants a relationship with you. Some girls want attentions from all men even tho they are not into them. She is one of them. She think she is better than V and do not see why you would choose V over her. But then its all about the attention to her.
I agree! I am trying to defriend her. For some reason I seem to like looking at her now. Is it because of what she did? I ended up masturbating about her yesterday after seeing her picture and it felt incredible to remember her sucking her finger? But when finishing, I felt dirty. I prefer V who I think is beautiful and she sounds like my type of girl especially personality. I think L is jealous for sure. But what to do? It seems like the only way to meet V is to ask for L's advice?
the only advise she will be giving you is bad advice. You don't need her. She will only sabotage you and V. She probably back stabbing you to V just to turn her off. You should stay away from L while you still can.
Agreed. I mean I get irritated by L. She said something really stupid about a personal topic because of her friends (who she tries to force on me) said something. I calmly provided an undeniable point and she shut up. The only thing is I held back from having a go at her. Is this why I now imagine her being submissive to me? L expects me to be like her backup boy to give her attention but not care for my own happiness. I have been avoiding her for a few months now. The thing is though that, when I see her picture I feel extremely horny it's unbelievable? Is it ok that I seem to like masturbating about her or did she somehow do this through her sexy touching? What can I do to meet V? I'm not on her (and L's) course. Has L won? I feel like this attention seeking nutcase is winning. She has stalled me meeting V (despite claiming to be my friend) and got me masturbating about her and actually liking it? Thoughts?
Should I just bang L then?
Why do I find it so hot to masturbate to HER?
L is seducing you. She wants you. V is who u thought was your type but not anymore. If you liked V as much as you say, then you wouldn't be so turned on by L.
Does she want me? I do think V is my type. I would like to meet her. What do you think about what L said in the update? I do like V though! Why do you think I find it dirty and arousing and enjoy masturbating about L? It's crazy how turned on remembering her sucking her finger gets me?
Yes she wsnts u. So u never met V yet? HOW is she your type?
How can you be sure she wants me? I passed her once. Not only do I think she is pretty, but from what I have heard she sounds great. And you can tell when you see someone, the way they carry themselves. She's much nicer than L, not attention seeking and not overly in your face. And in my view she is beautiful. I don't see L like that.. but for some reason I saw L's picture yesterday and ended up getting extremely hard very quickly? I seem to love masturbating about her and in particular her mouth. The way she sucked her finger and now seeing her grin in pictures is unbelievably hot? Thoughts?
P. S. I think V is hotter and she sounds great. The girl I passed once was V just to clarify! Thoughts?
I do believe V is more my type. Why do you think L is?
Because of the passion u have for L. Nothing u said about V tells me u find her equally attractive. Isn't attraction apart of the equation for a meaningful relationship?
But when I see V's picture I think she is so pretty, literally so hot. And she sounds so awesome. I really think she is my type of girl and I get butterflies thinking about V? With L, what do you mean passion.. cos I don't feel a connection with her and find her personality quite irritating. The only thing is that she has got in my head now (giving me head). What does this mean? I know I don't fancy her. Thoughts and what to do?
Put a rubberband on your wrist. And everytime u think of L Snap it so that u asociate pain with her. It must just be anger with her. So you fantasized her to be dominating over her. The problem with that is you will if not already associate sex and violence, which wil become a perversion. And will not know how to deal with anice and more suited companion.
It's just when I fantasize about other girls on my course, it's hot and I feel happy when I cum. It feels relaxed and I feel that rush of the orgasm. With L, it feels so intensely hot during arousal and the main fantasy feels so dirty hot to imagine L pleasing me. It's just the end, I don't want to cum about her as it feels like she wins and I give her satisfaction? It feels like she wronged me and I am weak to let her have control? Should I keep holding back? What does this mean?
Just fuck her already and be done with her!
The thing is I never imagine f***ing her. It's always her giving me a footjob or giving me a blowjob. I don't want someone like her to be my first time. Should I really bang L? Why do you think I am sexually attracted to her and want her to be submissive - is it cos she wronged me? Why do you say L is my type btw?
She's your type because she's managed to tap into your deepest desires. And yes she should be your first. You are mad at her for her blocking your chances with V. But she is doing it because she wants you for herself. Can't fault her for knowing what she wants. You don't even know V, yet you say she is your type? Makes no sense.
But L is taken? Isn't it selfish of her to block me with V and keep me as some type of backup? Isn't L meant to be a friend and that isn't friendly? Also she was offensive one day and I didn't fully have a go at her for some reason. V is my type in the sense that for one, I felt instantly attracted to her whereas with L I did not at all (it's only after she touched me with her feet). Also V has similar sounding interests and is of the same origin as me. I find her prettier as well. I would like someone like that to be my first time. With L, I only feel some desire for her in a dirty kind of way? But I don't like her personality and really don't ever imagine having intercourse with her. It's only a fantasy of her giving me head? Is she really tapping into my deepest desire? I don't know why I find it so arousing to think about L doing that or is it the thought of her being submissive - i. e. a facial? Also why do I not ever like to cum about L?
I don't think she's my type though? I only imagine her giving me a bj? I think V is hotter?
Maybe you only want what you can't have.
But at the moment, I can't have V (given L is not being helpful!). I mean I see L often, find the thought of her giving me a BJ very hot, but don't want to sleep with her or want to date her?
Well why don't u cut L out of your life?
I have for the last few months and don't plan on staying friends. But does this mean she wins with regards to V? I don't know how to meet V. It's so unfair, but I guess I have to know that I was the better person for not letting L have her way with me? Thoughts?
Yes she wins. This is like beating a dead horse.
Is it right that she wins? It seems so wrong that L be allowed to get away like that. I have been avoiding her all together and weaning myself off masturbating about L. What am I to do?
Keep doing that until the feelings go away.. no contact is always best, then once L is out of your system, then go go V by telling her you want to date her,
I haven't seen L for months as I have been avoiding her. In terms of masturbating, I have been fantasizing about other women and find it enjoyable. I am weaning myself off her. However, I do find it quite a turn on to see L's picture? I really feel horny imagining her looking back at me? But again, I don't like to cum about her. At most, I imagine blasting her face for some reason? In terms of meeting V, what do you make of what I said in the update? I would ask her out in a heartbeat if I ran into her. The problem is being in the same room/party as her. What do you make of what L said? Thoughts?
I think she likes the attention and she might like you too.
You think so? What to do about L and what to do about V? Why is it for some reason I masturbate about L sucking her finger?
It feels dirty to think about L but it seems to arouse me so so much?
What should I do?
Why do you think that?
I have net several girls/guys who for some reason LOVE attention. Seriously they will be touchy feely with several people just to feel wanted. Yet it does not really mean they "like you, like you" it may or may not be. Yet by the sounds of it, it sounds like she's just a natural flirt. Now with your case, it is normal for you to have some sort of thoughts regarding her especially if she goes around touching you and what not.
Agreed L does seem very attention seeking. So is it ok that I seem to love masturbating about her giving me a bj? I keep imagining her sucking her finger like she did. Why is this? I don't really want to fancy L and prefer V. Also what to do about the V situation given what L is doing?
I feel dirty bit seem to enjoy the fantasy of her, what does it mean deep down?
Thoughts?
Solution. Ask her out. She'll let you know if she's interested or not.
Didn't read your unnecessary wall of text, by the way, dead give away you're being a wuss and avoiding asking. Just ask.
What? I'm not trying to ask L out though? Sometimes reading helps to answer the question.
Lol, avoid asking what to whom? If you read it, you would realize I'm not trying to ask her out!
You only have one question, how many times are you going to ask it? You are kind of obsessed with this.
What do you think?
It's been updated.
Obsessed is an understatement!
Maybe you could just have her as a friend with benefits? Just for sex, not a romantic relationship?
That's a point.. I mean I really don't see blonde friend (L) as my type of girl or a girlfriend. I prefer girls who are like my actual crush (V). I keep imagining L giving me head and it is intensely arousing, more so than anything else. I really enjoy masturbating about her over other girls. What does that mean? How would I go for friends with benefits? I'm a virgin so I'm unsure about these things.
How?
Get to know her a little bit. Gauge whether or not she might be into that sort of thing, and whether or not she is into you, and then just ask her how she feels about that sort of thing.
She does seem very flirty and touchy, but sometimes it has been in public (others can't see but they're there). How do I talk to her about it? I have no idea what to say to her. What do you suggest? Should I ask for friends with benefits? I mean I do find the fantasy of L hotter than anything right now, but I know I should like V. What to say that would be cool to L?
First, just ask invite her out for drinks or coffee and see how that goes...
Ok. How do I do it so it's not like a date? And what would be a way to be in a situation where she could suggestively touch me again and I show her I like it?
Advice?
How to have a friends with benefits with her? What to say?
'Would you like to sleep with me?' is a good place to start. ;)
Lol.. is there anything else to say or do? I'm not sure that's the best thing to say to start with?
You are probably right. Depending on the girl, you might get slapped! Ha, ha. Maybe bring up the subject of casual sex and just ask how she feels about it. Or ask her if she's ever had a £u¢k buddy. See what her response is to that. She might surprise you and say, "no, but I'd love to", or " yes, and it was fantastic", and there's your lead.
Thing is I'm normally quieter. Could I really say that? I mean the idea of having fun with her is hot! But I don't want her to be my first time for intercourse. I must say the thought of giving L a massage or rubbing her feet or her giving me head is incredibly hot though. What do you advise?
Not sure about that one. If a guy told me that he wanted me to give him a BJ but he had no interest in sleeping with me, I would probably just keep our friendship platonic. Because where could it lead, really? For the girl, I mean. For you, I am sure it would be great. Maybe just keeping her as a fantasy is the best idea?
Maybe, but tbh I'm thinking I really don't like her. I feel confused. I fantasized about her last night giving me a bj. It felt so great and it feels hot to look at her picture of her looking at me? But when I saw her picture with her eyes closed and imagined giving her a facial, I didn't feel happy when cumming. Whereas when I masturbate and cum about other women, it feels great? What do you think? I mean I don't really want anything to do with L, she has been obstructing me with V and I feel like she is trying to dominate me?
Is there a way to give her a massage in return for a BJ?
Sounds like a reasonable trade to me. Ask her!
Tbh thinking about it, I really don't like L. She has been manipulating me and interfering with my life. I am going to break off contact and stop being friends with such a bitchy attention seeking person. Maybe fate will bring V and I together. It's so wrong what L is doing. There is no way I want to spend my first time with L. And I don't see her as someone I even want to know, let alone a friend or heaven forbid a gf. That should teach her a lesson, I want no part of her stupid game. I just wish that she didn't 'win'.
She ends up with nothing; how is that winning? And... good for you. Best of luck to you with V.
The trouble is I haven't met V. It feels wrong, I mean L was unhelpful and changed the subject. Also I get horny at L's picture? How do I meet V and is it ok that I masturbated about L?
UR sexually aroused by her because u find her sexually appealing but don't want her when ur face to face means u don't reli fancy her. I'd b apprehensive she is using u for the attention u give her. Stay friends and masterbate over whoever u wish ;)
So I'm not into her then? It's just why do I suddenly find thinking about her more arousing (gets me horny quicker) than fantasizing about my crush or other girls? I also feel a little horny when I see her. Is she trying to confuse me? by the way, she knows my crush. Why do I keep replaying her sucking her finger in my head when i masturbate? What to do?
I'd b careful of her as girls play up to a guy who they know finds them attractive. (It's not malicious it's nice to feel wanted and desired) if u fancied her u'd kno it and wouldn't need to ask.
Thing is how does she know I find it hot when she puts her feet on my lap or when she sucks her finger at me? We happened to be dining alone that evening. But I was trying to keep calm. Thing is now i find the thought of her hotter than my crush? Why is that when I 'fancy' crush (let's call her V)? I keep visualizing my blonde friend now (let's call her L). I don't want to, and it feels dirty, but I kinda like it? Why do I find it so hot to masturbate about her? And why do I look forward to seeing her now? I didn't think about her before this. What to do?
U look forward to spending time with her? U look forward to hearing from her? U enjoy spending time with her? Sounds like UR crushing but u don't want to coz this other girl. And believe me hun she knows :)
Does she know she was making me hard? :D I enjoy seeing her because i like to see her face, and well I hope that she would do it again.. I don't think it's a crush as I don't see her as my type or want to date her. But why do I find the fantasy of HER sucking me off hotter than any other girl? It's not just the other girl, but I prefer other types of girl. It feels dirty to want this one, yet she makes me so horny I love it?
Your thoughts?
U don't have to stick to ur "type" sometimes we fall for people just because we do. U need to stop focusing on ur type as a reason not to like her
But have I fallen for her? Or has she somehow stimulated me into thinking that? I know I don't want to date someone like her. But I do enjoy seeing her (if only that she might do something again and because she is kinda hot sometimes). I don't really like her personality and she talks way too much. She does use people too. I do like how she seems to be caring to me and also when she touches me. I can't stop loving when she opens her mouth, it's oddly attractive. And I absolutely love the fantasy of her giving me head. What do you suggest? Should she be my first time? How would I even make it happen?
Do I like her tho? I mean I think about her giving me head and find it more arousing than thinking about other girls? Occasionally I imagine getting a double bj from a crush and also this blonde friend (L). But I know I don't fancy L and shouldn't because she is trying to have me as a backup? Why do I find it hot to masturbate about HER doing those things?
Thoughts pls?
You seems to be a nice guy so I'll be completely honest with you.
Yes, you're right... she likes attention and she's enjoying your attention. She might know you're inexperienced and trying to use all her seduction techniques to get your attention and turn you on (and enjoy knowing you're turned on). It is completely natural that you get turned on by her. It's all about sexual and I'm glad you don't have a crush on her and only on another girl. Please (please) don't loose your virginity to her... save it for the one you really love.
If you find yourself thinking about her quite often, please keep a distance from her. You can still be friends with her but just don't get too close (if you know what I mean). Good luck!
Thanks this is very helpful. So I guess my friend is toying with me then. Let's call her L. She has mentioned in the past about being 'sexually experienced' and I'm not entirely sure why she brought it up. The thing is the girl I fancy (let's call her V) is more my type and prettier in my opinion. She is on L's course and i think L might be jealous? When in a group of friends, L said V wasn't my type and changed the subject suddenly? Also when we met up for dinner, L was dressed in a very tight fitting dress. I mean I don't really like her personality and I don't want to fancy her tbh. For some reason though, ever since L put her feet on my lap I keep hoping she'll do it again. I almost like seeing her so that I have a visual impression of her. I also can't seem to get her sucking her finger out of my head now. I feel dirty that I find that more arousing than thinking about any other girl?
I tried to avoid her for the last three months. But as we are friends I saw her last week and then seeing her picture later on my phone I ended up fantasizing about her again in the night. I don't know why.. it feels dirty to think about her and I feel like she is controlling me, but I kinda enjoy masturbating about her? Why do i find the thought of her hotter than anything else now? Is she trying to distract me/keep me away from V? I would rather my first time be with someone more like V than L. Thoughts on why I seem to like thinking about L?
You found her actions so arousing because she's the only girl who acts provocatively to you. You are inexperience, that's why you're attracted to her in sexual way which leads you to think of her quite often. Honestly, I don't think she's into you (although you would be a wonderful guy). She's only into getting your attention. Like you said she might be jealous of V and wanna have what V is having (such as your love/crush). Girl's mind can be too complicated sometimes. Just stay away from her :) I hope this helps.
This really helps yes thanks! I do feel relieved. So it's not me who wanted her then given that I only started to think about her after she did that stuff? The thing is I have tried to stay away from her, but have thought about her sometimes and erm.. masturbated about her? How do I/Should I get her out of my head? I almost seem to enjoy it, even though I feel dirty about it and hold myself back. Also how do I start thinking about V and how can I meet V if my friend L is trying to stop it? If L has a boyfriend should she be flirting with me like so? I feel bad, but why do I still enjoy thinking about L and look forward to seeing her - is it because she has manipulated me into thinking this?
Should I tell her I liked it when she sucked her finger and put her feet on my lap?
Thoughts?
Is it just sexual desire for her? Why do I seem to find her my most arousing fantasy?
I prefer V for sure who is just so pretty and sounds much nicer. L seems to be the best route to meet her in terms of finding out where V might be on campus. What to do? Also, why do I seem to enjoy masturbating to the mental image of L sucking her finger and also her picture of her looking at the camera? But in terms of finishing, I don't want to cum about her? Thoughts?
You have a crush on someone else. Simple
Explain? So call blonde girl L and my crush V. What do you mean?
Why do I fancy V and prefer girls like V and want my first time to be with someone similar to V. Yet suddenly, L, my friend (who has not helped me to ask out V who is on L's course) who I don't see as my type nor as someone I would want to have my first time with, puts her feet on me and sucks her finger... and suddenly: I find it hotter to masturbate about L and enjoy it more than thinking about other girls? Yet I know I don't want to fancy someone like her or ask her out? Why do I find it hot to think about her? I mean I can't get her sucking me out of my head?
You said you have a crush on V at the uni... you don't fancy L
Ok, so that's good to know!! I prefer V. Why do I suddenly think about L? And why do i find it hotter to think about her? As in it gets me aroused so much more quickly?
Also which way would you vote and why?
I don't know.. personally I think L is a tease. She's toying with you and she knows it. She's going to work you until she gets what she wants and then move on to the next. She likes your attention as much as you like hers. I get that you're excited when she touches you but like you said, you're her back up. You already have a crush on someone else. Is blondi worth it? I think that's the decision here. I don't think she will be the one getting hurt in the end.
Agreed with you. I don't really think she gives me attention tbh. I just liked it when she put her feet on me for some reason. I just don't know why I fantasize about her now and find it more arousing than my actual crush?
Why do you like your crush? Ask yourself that question? Then ask yourself what exactly are you looking for? Are you looking for an actual gf or a playmate? Of course you like her feet in you coz you got aroused when she did it. Doesn't mean your crush can't do that over and over. I don't know it's whatever you're looking for I guess. Maybe you just want a friends with benefits for now and not be tied down so you can play with both.
I would like a gf tbh. I mean I would like to have fun too. It's just I'm not looking for my 1st time to be friends with benefits The other thing is that family wise and personally I don't see L as my type of girl. She's also a bit of an attention seeker. But I do find her a little dirty/exciting and maybe that's why I like to hang out with her? I usually end up hoping she will do it again and then fantasising about her that night. I prefer V (my crush) who is my type and seems like a hotter and nicer girl. But I haven't interacted with her yet. Is it because L did these things I visualize her instead? L seems to arouse me more than other girls whenI masturbate? I almost hold myself back because I enjoy pretending a p*rnstar is her and it feels hot. After I release I feel dirty, but during it feels so good to imagine L. Thoughts?
Yes. My thought is you're not ready for a gf yet. You're too much into L and V would end up getting hurt! Don't do that to her. I think right now you should just get all of your fun out of you and be single. No one gets hurt and a good time was had by all.
Thing is are you sure I'm into L? I didn't think about her in any way whatsoever until she did the foot thing. It's just the way she sucked her finger at me that got me fantasizing about her. I don't really like her tbh. But I seem to find masturbating about her hotter than anything else? I prefer girls like V. I don't want to like or date L. Why has this happened? Also V is on L's course. L doesn't seem keen for me to meet V. Why is that? What do you think if I feel dirty about thinking about L, but still seem to enjoy masturbating about her sucking me off?
What if I imagine her giving me a double bj with my crush?
That's not fair to your crush then because then you won't even think about you crush... even though your crush is the one making you feel happy
No not in reality!! I meant I'm trying to get myself to stop finding thinking about L so hot. This is what L wanted isn't it? I just want to stop thinking about her because I feel like she just planted this thought here to distract me. Any ideas?
Well I guess. If I was giving some guy a BJ I'd be thing of him not somebody else.
I want to think about V (my crush), but I don't know how to meet V without asking for L's help. Would L help me? Why can I not get L out of my head giving me a BJ? It arouses me more than anything!
Wait, why can't you meet V without L's help?
V is on L's course. They are on a different section of campus which only their course can access. I haven't met V on the main campus where there are thousands of people in any case. L is supposed to be me my friend. I know 3 people on the course, including her. I was discussing girls I could meet with them, and when I mentioned V who I saw on the uni website, one of the others said, yeah why don't you introduce him to her L? Then L quickly changed the subject in panic and said "She's not his type". Unfortunately, she was paying for lunch and also someone else turned up shortly afterward, I couldn't pursue the subject. But L knows V or can help me know where she will be on campus. L got invited to V's birthday, but didn't invite V back her own one at my halls. Was it so we wouldn't meet? Thoughts?
Oh I see now. Just out of curiosity, do they get along at least or are they just acquaintances? That was pretty shitty of L not to invite V back over. Yes, I think once L heard to introduce you guys up, she instantly became jealous in a way. She doesn't want V to meet you so L is not going to help you do that. L likes the attention too much and wants to flirt with you to herself!
Isn't that really selfish of L? And she's supposed to be my friend? Apparently V is really friendly (as well as HOT imo). She gets on with people in general. She calls L hun apparently. But L is apparently jealous of V according to a guy I know in another year group. He doesn't know V sadly. But what to do in this situation? It feels like L (and the bad guys) win in this case. I don't know what to think? I know am left thinking about receiving a bj from L and wanting it so bad. It literally is something i masturbate about at least twice a week. I also don't want to think about her and want to rethink about V and also meet V! There are so few nice girls at my uni, I think V is a gem. Thoughts?
The only thing you can do is tell L that you're really into V and that if she's really your friend, then she will help you. See what she says. Make sure to tell L that you will still remain friends with her. You're relationship won't change. Right now you just need her help! by the way, I'm a nice girl. Just saying 😊
Thanks appreciate it nice girl. The thing is I feel nervous in asking L again. Some part of me is reluctant to beg to her for help about V? Or is it some part of me wants L? Why do I find it so hot to masturbate about L? Thinking about her sucking her finger and pretending a p*rnstar lookalike is really her sucking me off is the most arousing fantasy I have right now? Thoughts?
Well you're just going to have to ask L if you reall want V. I don't know why you're still fantasizing about L. I guess it's just how she made you feel. Technically you really could go up to V yourself if you wanted to. That way you won't have to worry what L thinks.
The trouble is they are both on a course on a special area of campus where other courses can't access. L is meant to be my friend, I was hoping for her help. If I met V, of course I would ask her myself!! Part of me also seems to want to prove to L that she can't do this. In terms of the fantasy, I can't explain it. It's really unbelievably arousing to think about L. Is this what she wanted? Do I hesitate because deep down I lust for L and want her?
Thoughts?
I don't know if you want L like you want V. I truly do think that you lust for L. I mean if she didn't do the things that she did would you still like her? You'd still be crushing on V anyway.
Yes that's a point! I definitely like V. I mean if L didn't do that, then no, I mean she's kinda hot, but I didn't really feel anything from her and couldn't care less whether or not I see her after this year. But the thing is now I kinda like to see L just to look at her?
Well I really think you should just ask L to help you get introduced to V. If she doesn't want to help you then just walk up to V and just tell her you've seen her around and would like to ask her out.
In terms of the latter recommendation, if I saw V I would definitely go and talk to her. But it's like this. L and V are on a course which has a separate building. I have seen V only once in so many years and that was a rare occasion on the promenade walking past her in the evening. Unfortunately I was with my tutorial group on a tour and was carrying a pile of boxes. She's so lovely! My problem is being in the SAME PHYSICAL LOCATION AT THE RIGHT TIME AS V. I was hoping my friends would help (see the latest update). But they don't seem to take a hint? I asked about V, and I am beginning to wonder if they are as connected on their course as they claim. I think L is definitely jealous of V. I've been avoiding L for a month. How do I ask L about V? Is it because I have a soft spot for her that I hesitate? Why do I find myself masturbating to her picture imagining L looking back at me?