Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health Is this flirty female friend into me? Am I into her? Why do I sometimes fantasize about her?
Anonymous
There's this girl at my uni who is fun and I have become friends with. She is this talkative BLONDE and I do think she loves ATTENTION. I like how she is outgoing, but not how she seems to use people. She recently got out of a long distance relationship and started to date someone else at uni. But during both she has been very flirty with me (in terms of touching, texting me, seemingly jealous when I talk to other girls). I think she likes how I listen to her and give her attention? In the past she shows her cleavage when hugging me and put her feet on my lap and things like that. I didn't really see her in a sexual way, but as a friend. When she touches me like that though, I do occasionally think about her? I don't think I fancy her (I have a crush on someone else at uni), but when I was meeting up with her for dinner one day, I thought she did look hot in her dress. For some reason, when I sat opposite her, she asked me whether I could come and sit next to her instead, "so she could be close to me". Then whilst eating, it's something about her mouth, the way she licks her fingers, it's kinda a turn on? She put her bare feet on my lap at one point and I really felt aroused by it. I'm meeting her again soon. Thing is this, is she trying to keep me as a BACKUP? She doesn't seem keen for me to meet a hot girl who I like and she knows. For some reason, I find it hot to masturbate about this blonde friend. I don't think I fancy her. I really don't see her as my type. And I'm a virgin and so don't want to get off with her. I feel guilty because it's like she has me as a backup and it feels dirty to think about her, but I LIKE IT for some reason? I mean I masturbated about her twice yesterday, and I feel HORNY if I see her picture? I don' see her as a girlfriend though. I am annoyed because I seem to find thinking about her MORE AROUSING than my crush? Thinking about this blonde friend giving me head is so hot? Is she into me? Am I into her/advice?
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Updates:
+1 y
PLEASE GIVE A REASON FOR WHICH WAY YOU VOTE. Whilst I enjoy her company as a friend, I don't think I fancy her and I certainly don't see her as a girlfriend or want her to be my first. The sexual desire/arousal about her is really strong though. I found a p*rnstar who looks like her and find it really hot to fantasize about. Why do I find blondie AROUSES ME SO QUICKLY? Why does she seem keen that I don't date and meet up with her instead? What was with the FEET ON LAP and SUCKING?
+1 y
Do I like this blonde friend (L)? Why do I seem to enjoy masturbating about her now? It seems to be only her giving me head that really turns me on. I prefer a different girl, and I have fantasized about her as well. It's just that what L did, when I replay that, it turns me on so much quicker than anything? Is this what she wants? How to think about my other crush again and what do you suggest doing?
+1 y
Let's call blonde friend L and a girl I like V. Thing is I want a girl more like V and think she is prettier and nicer. It's after L did these things that I began to replay them in my mind and feel turned on. I guess this is what she wanted to stop me thinking about V? At a dinner with friends discussing girls I could meet, one person suggested L introduce me to V. "SHE'S NOT HIS TYPE" L said and changes the subject quickly? I need L's help to meet V who is on L's course! ADVICE?
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What Girls & Guys Said
41 5I choose E, I do think that most of your desire is just physical, but I think you might actually have a crush on her. I don't think you are admitting to yourself how you really feel.
Woah did not expect that!! Erm, are you sure? What makes you say that.. I mean I don't want to fancy her.. she's not my type. I prefer people like my crush. Thing is I admit I can't stop thinking about blond girl (let's call her L) doing those things she did. When she sucked her finger, literally it was so hot. For some reason I find the thought of her giving me head more arousing than anyone else?
Thoughts?
Also, why do you think I have a crush on her?
P. S. Do you really think I desire her and why? It's intriguing your viewpoint!
I don't think I have a crush on her though? Thoughts?
Is this what L wanted me to think?
Have you ever heard opposites attract? She may not look or act like the other girl, but you are still attracted to her. Things this girl does turns you on, but you can't stop thinking about her. Crushes for the most part are at first based on just physical attraction, they can develop as you get to know the person. You can have a crush on more than one person, but your going to like one better. The girl sounds like she is into you. I think the thing is, if you actually like her personality and still think sexual thoughts about her, I would say it's closer to a crush. In this case she isn't just a platonic friend, you're attracted to her. I know you like someone else, but maybe you should try going out with this girl on a date. You seem to have strong chemistry.
Believe me, I have liked people that I never would have considered liking. The current person I have a crush on is the exact opposite of what I would have gone for. I would accept it because you can't really control who you like. You have an attraction to the girl, it's up to you whether you want to just keep having your fantasies or actually act.
Sorry I just looked at the messages this morning.
That's ok, really appreciate the response. You sound like you know your stuff! Let's call blonde girl L and crush girl V. You have some good points. Are you sure I'm attracted to L though? I don't really want to say that I am. I mean, she's not really my type as such. I prefer girls like V. I mean I don't think I have a crush on L. It's just that after she touched me, I keep yearning for L to touch me with her feet again like that when I'm with her. And I like that I see her as it helps me to visualize her? For some reason I really find the way she sucked her finger so sexy. I can't get that out of my head and it turns me on more than any other fantasy I have so far. When she opens her mouth I kinda like it? I actually enjoy masturbating about L more than other girls and I feel dirty about that. Yet I keep doing it as it feels so hot to think about her? I mean.. I erm ended up moaning her name the other day.
I don't think it's a crush though. I mean, I don't really like her personality type. My biggest worry is because I'm a virgin, I don't want L to be my first time. But somehow I find it exciting to think about her. I mean I would rather think about girls like V, but have no relatable experience. The other thing is that V is on L's course. At a dinner with other friends, I asked about V and someone suggest L help me meet her, but L just said "She's not his type" and changed the subject? by the way, I think L does have a boyfriend (she hasn't told me about it though) and it is possible she is jealous of V. I mean I like L as a friend, but she does seem to crave attention. I'm not sure what I feel. Why am I now thinking about L and what can I do since I can't get her giving me head out of my head?
P. S. I do feel a tinge of excitement at seeing L and do like it if she sits next to me. But I also feel like she is trying to control me. It feels dirty but hot to think about her, but I don't/know I shouldn't want her... why am I not fantasizing about V as much and why does it arouse me quicker to think of L? Thoughts?
Sorry, just had another thought. Do you think my mind doesn't want her - is that why I don't want to like her? I really appreciate your insight, you know your stuff!
Your thoughts?
I think you are trying to convince yourself that you don't want L. You have feelings/are attracted to L. L seems to be more of a challenge to you compared to V. The fact that L is on your mind all the time points in the direction of a crush. If you truly liked V as much as you said, she would be on your mind all the time. You are trying to convince yourself to like V when you have some sort of feeling for L. You say l is a friend, but your mind is not seeing her that way. Don't worry about your virginity and losing it to whoever. What you should try to listen to is what your heart and gut are saying.
Thing is my gut is telling me something is wrong - that I don't fancy L. My loins are pretty clear in that they desire L - I mean the thought of her mouth is more arousing than anything else I can relate to atm. I love the intense feeling of arousal I get from masturbating about L. My heart is conflicted. On the one hand, I feel butterflies with V and girls like her. With L, I don't feel like that - it's more annoyance at her attention/control seeking ways, but then a soft spot for how she seems to be caring to me and liking to see her. I don't think it's a crush though, it seems more horny to see her than anything. I mean V was on my mind A LOT before this. It's only after L touched me, I can't get her out of my head (giving me head). So do I like her? I want to understand what I want - it feels like some part of me wants L, but I think I shouldn't? It's as if, if she offered herself to me I would enjoy a wild time with her, but I don't want to give her the satisfaction?
I think if it wasn't my virginity, then I would want to have fun with her. I'm not sure about dating, but I like the idea of a one on one dinner with her being naughty under the table. It's more the arousal of her sucking or putting her feet on me that is exciting. I haven't fantasized about anything else about her. Although I seem to get horny if I see her in person or her picture? Is it right to make her my first though? I feel dirty about it. But yet it is kinda hot to think about her? I'm sorry I'm so confused! What should I do? How would I even make it happen with L? Should I given V is on her course? Is there a way to fulfill my fantasy with L, but not lose my virginity to her?
Those are really tough questions. If your gut is saying that you don't like her, than go with that feeling. L can just be a fantasy. You might want to stay away from her awhile though because she is messing with your head. She could ruin any chance of a relationship with your crush or any girl like V. It would be better to lose your virgnity with someone that you care about. If you want to hook up with her then go for it, but you never know if L is just using you or not. I don't know you personally and only you can decide how you feel, but Im thinking now that there is something about L that attracts you, but you wouldn't want her for a girlfriend. L could just want you as a hookup or she might want you as something more or she might just want to use you for attention.
That's why I'm confused =D I don't think that I like her. I mean I know I don't want her as my girlfriend. I think V and a few other girls are hotter. In terms of V, L got invited to her birthday party, but then didn't invite her back to the party I went to. Was that deliberate? Isn't she already preventing or omitting to tell me (her friend) that there is a great girl she knows? I have been trying to avoid L for a while now. It did work initially and I started to think about other girls and feeling good about it. But then occasionally L would crop up into thoughts. And I find the fantasy about L hotter and more arousing so ended up masturbating about her. I mean.. I LOVE thinking about L giving me head, it's so exciting and it's unreal how good it feels.
But I agree, I think I would like to spend that 1st time with someone I connect with. I don't feel that with L. I sometimes feel annoyed that she is controlling me. I do like to see her though, but is that because now I suddenly yearn for her sexually? How would I even hook up with her if I don't want to have sex? I mean I have thought about it, and it is a hot thought.. more of a Hyde type of fantasy. I wish I could, it feels dirty, but I don't want to or know I shouldn't... but then do I secretly deep down want her? Why is the lust for her so strong and pleasurable compared to other fantasies? I really appreciate your really solid thoughts! What do you think and what do you suggest about meeting V?
What do you think I want deep down if I find myself horny at her picture or replaying what she did in my mind? How come I find L more arousing than my actual type?
What if I imagined receiving a double bj from L and V yesterday? I mean I masturbated about L looking at her picture.. why is the fantasy so hot?
I think the fantasy is so hot because you have a strong attraction to L. If you didn't, there would be no fantasy. That doesn't mean that you necessarily have feelings for her, but that's what you would call having chemistry and sexual tension.
But am I attracted to her? My head tells me I don't want to fancy someone like L. My heart tells me that I seem to have a soft spot for tolerating her because she is fairly hot and I sort of like how she takes care of me. I feel happy when she sits near me. But I don't fancy her. Deep down do I want her? I yearn for her to put her feet on me. And if I think about her sucking, then I literally feel the most aroused I can get. It's the hottest thing to pretend a p*rnstar lookalike is really her giving me a bj. I don't know about chemistry though. We don't really hit it off. She talks way too much and I feel irritated by her views sometimes. But I seem not to argue with her, because I want her to be her flirty self and be around me? In terms of sexual tension, I mean.. we do joke about her stripping and stuff like that? Why is it I like to masturbate about her and get horny at her picture?
Attraction doesn't necessarily mean crushing on someone. I mean attraction in the sense of physical. You arnt attracted to her mentally and I would say there is definitely some sexual tension. Deep down you would like to hook up sexually with her in some way, but she is not potential girlfriend or dating material. That's okay, she makes for a good fantasy who knows maybe she would be into giving you a bj
The sexual attraction is really strong, that's why you like masturbating to her picture.
I see, so it doesn't mean I fancy her? I mean I feel confused. I don't want to, but I seem to enjoy seeing her as I like to look at her? The arousal is seriously incredibly intense when I think about her. It's such a super turn on to think about L sucking me off that I really like thinking about her or get horny seeing her picture. Does it mean deep down some part of me desires her? It feels dirty, but I just love masturbating about her? Fantasising about L feels so good, up until the point I'm finishing, and I feel bad? Why do I find her hot though? I mean I guess I do fantasize about hooking up with her sexually. But I feel like I've been played? I yearn for her to put her feet on me. Do you think she would be up for giving me a bj? How?
Thoughts pls?
Sorry I just saw your message. In my opinion I don't think you fancy/like her. You don't seem to really like her personality or anything like that. Sometimes you just get a really strong sexual attraction to someone. I think that's what your feeling right now. Clearly what she does turns you on. She could be playing you. You could always ask her if she would be up for oral sex, but if you are friends and don't want to lose the friendship then I wouldn't do that.
Thanks for getting back to me. What do you make of what she said about V (in my last update)? Do you think I have sexual attraction for her? What does it mean if I get horny at seeing her picture and like to masturbate with her looking back at me? But then when it comes to finishing, I don't want to cum about her... yet the desire when thinking about her performing oral sex is so strong? I'm not really worried about the friendship with her as I don't really see her as a long term friend (she seems to attention seeking and not so genuine sometimes). How would I ask about receiving a bj? Do you think deep down I desire her?