Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I've been with my boyfriend for around a year now and things are going very well. We're very much complimentary, we love to spend time with each other, have a lot of similar interests. Things are great sexually as well. My only concern is that he brought out this fantasy. Basically, he wants me to put some drug without him knowing when and how and use him as I want. I can't see how this can be consensual if one is unconscious. As much as I enjoy taking the lead and being dominant, I think it looks abusive. I'm also concerned he may feel violated afterwards. I'm also concerned he may have been through trauma for wanting that kind of stuff...
What do you guys think?
My boyfriend fantasizes about me drugging him (sleeping pills or similar) and taking advantage of him. Wouldn't it be raped?
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What Girls & Guys Said
5 49not if he's asking you to do it, but it sounds pretty dangerous to me
This is what I think. I'm especially concerned about the sleeping pills or the medication. I guess it can be dangerous.
It's called rapeplay! Or consensual nonconsent. It's a pretty popular type of roleplay that a lot of people (your boyfriend included) fantasize about. As long as he gives you permission, you should have a little fun with it! Always have an established safe word though just in case things go too far!!
Actually i wanted to say that more people have been trying to just use the term consensual nonconsent (cnc), because many people use 'rapeplay' as an excuse for actual rape. Cnc is a consensual roleplay between two consenting individuals :)
I don't like the term "rape play" though
Yeahh i said rapeplay because that's a much older term than cnc. But people in the bdsm community have been trying to change it because of all the negative things behind the term rape play. Cnc is the proper teme for it, as it truly is a consensual act. As long as a safe word is established and respected, then you shouldn't feel bad, this is your boyfriend's kink lol
Rape play is insensitive to actual rape victims so i should definitely get into the habitnof saying cnc, the proper
I agree. Rape is about one being used for someone else's enjoyment without considering the person used as anything more than a commodity that has no saying on the matter. It's absolutely not what I'm into. Ewwwww...
Lol yeah definitely don't rape anyone. But talk to you boyfriend about this more. Remember that this is just a consensual roleplay fantasy, and that he should always have a safe word to use at all time. And just make sure he is in an enviroment where he still feels safe! Cnc is a much rougher kink, and put of nowhere some people just need to stop, so always be mindful of that!!
How can we use a safeword if he's unconscious?
I mean more for when he wakes up, also you seem pretty uncomfortable with the idea of doing this, you should just talk to him
My concern is the use of medications. Otherwise, I wouldn't mind.
Honestly its a fantasy of mine... being on a drug that makes u hard no matter what... a girl wanting that dick bad enough she just takes it
And yeah he probably has trauma...
Technically, I think you could get charged with rape. But he did agree to it, so there is a gray area here. Personally, I think he's demented for asking you to do that.
Demented? Really?
Yeah, Its to twisted in my opinion.
Is it more twisted than women who are into rough sex or rape play?
A bit yes, because he's unconscious, so how would that be enjoyable for him or any other guy.
Cause he could watch what actually happened. He told he liked the idea of waking up and knowing something has happened to him but having no clue.
Sure, IF he woke up at the right time. Sorry, its just t weird for my taste.
The idea is:him not waking up during the "all session" ; waking up and notice the mess; watching the vedeotape afterwards and finding out what happened.
Wouldn’t be rape if he’s consenting.
Role play
Wait until he's a sleep and then have sex with him. When he wakes up just tell him to pretend he still asleep and you will do all the work.
No. Indesent assault...
Yep lol he might have a rape type fantasy.
In essence he consented to it already. Neither my girlfriend nor I would mind waking up to the other one given them oral or hand stimulation. We can't consent at the moment, but we did before. He is saying bv essentially the same. He won't have a problem with you doing this. Therefore unless he rescinds consent, it isn't rape.
63% of women ADMIT to having rape fantasies. This is just his kink.
He's testing you, to see if you'd actually do it
and yeah, that would be rape
Testing me? How?
Testing you, to see if you'll do it
And then?
Well, we'd have to see right if you did it or not
No, I don't think it would be rape because he told you ahead of time. I would be more concerned about hurting him with the Sleeping Pills.
This is my main concern to be honest.
If he consents to it, then no. Also, having that fantasy doesn't mean you should actually fulfill it.
Not if it's consensual and if that's something you guys try it would be legal because he said it was ok to do so
in court if he died as a result you would facve a murder charge
I see. Though I don't think you can die with sleeping pills if you don't take more than the normal dosage.
would not advise this
He probably needs therapy to be honest.
If your boyfriend drugged you with sleeping pills and took advantage of you while you are sleeping would that be rape? Yes or yes?
That is a weird fantasy.
By legal definition it would be rape to do that, yes. Though it is a common fetish these days and people call it Consensual Non-Consent. You have to do it with someone you trust completely, one hundred percent.
I've never done it myself through the fear that things could turn sour afterwards. But I am not closed off to the idea. It would all depend on the person.