Sexual Relationships 
Sexual Health I've been with my boyfriend for around a year now and things are going very well. We're very much complimentary, we love to spend time with each other, have a lot of similar interests. Things are great sexually as well. My only concern is that he brought out this fantasy. Basically, he wants me to put some drug without him knowing when and how and use him as I want. I can't see how this can be consensual if one is unconscious. As much as I enjoy taking the lead and being dominant, I think it looks abusive. I'm also concerned he may feel violated afterwards. I'm also concerned he may have been through trauma for wanting that kind of stuff...
What do you guys think?
My boyfriend fantasizes about me drugging him (sleeping pills or similar) and taking advantage of him. Wouldn't it be raped?
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What Girls & Guys Said
5 49i think if u are too serious type he may feel turn off, and may eventually leave u for someone else wilder
That's what it's seems like pal
yeah that's kind of fucked up, but I've heard of worse
It’s only rape if you didn’t want it.
It would. (Consentual) rape. And I'd be thrilled if my partner did it to me.
Really?
yeah, sure, male fantasy.
I didn't know it was a male fantasy lol.
I think there's a side of me which likes a dominant woman. You don't have to be particularly unmanly to want this. A lot of guys enjoy this fantasy. Which is why a dominatrix woman is in such high demand (spanking, punishing, dominating, disallowing you from climaxing till she wants it, etc). Just imagine how much of freedom a guy could feel when he doesn't have to do all the chasing and convincing, but can just lie down and enjoy whatever SHE does to him. My partner of many years isn't into sex as much as she used to be at the start of the relationship. Sometimes, I just throw the ball in her court, tell her I need sex, and wait till she comes down to get it (we live a short distance apart). It's a mix of agony (the uncertainty, the wait) and also ecstasy (you know you've got it all when you hear the footsteps)!
It's not rape if it's consensual, for both parties. If you don't want to there's no reason to force yourself to. Talk to him about this.
These fantasies are very common, even for people who've never been through any kind of trauma. He just likes the feeling of powerlessness and being taken advantage of. I know that because I have these fantasies. I've never been able to actually try it because most women just won't. If you do decide to, he'll be so happy that you did. Trust me.
He won't feel violated or anything like that. He's already given you consent to do it and he wants it by telling you that he wants it. Part of the fun for him is the feeling that it's not consensual, but it is. While you feel like you'd be being mean to him, he'll be hugely turned on and will enjoy it. He wants you to act kind of mean, but you both know it's just roleplay.
Using drugs or pills is potentially dangerous however, I wouldn't advise that. There are safer ways to do this. What kinds of things will you want to do to him? Because it depends on that.
I really can't understand why would he want to sleep during sex 🙄
Lol It's not like that 😆
Then what is it like? :P
This is the powerlessness he likes and feeling used for my own pleasure basically.
But if he is sleeping, he can't get an erection, how can you feel pleasure if he is unconscious?
Men have many night-erections. Even if it's not possible, there are other ways to enjoy it. I'm not that hetetocentric lol.
I see, ok, lol, but you would probably have to give him viagra too, that way you'll surely give him a night erection ;)
If he consents beforehand I don't think it constitutes rape. Though I could be wrong depending upon your local laws. The biggest problem would be acquiring the drugs as those drugs are typically illegal. So the next best thing would be to have sex with him while he is asleep.
Sleeping pills aren't illegal.
But you need a prescription and lying to a doctor about why you need said prescription is illegal.
My mom takes sleeping pills...
It is also illegal to use someone else's prescription.
Is DARE no longer a thing in school? I learned all of this by the 5th grade, because of the DARE program.
I know it is. That's why I'm concerned about it so much. I wouldn't be talking about it here otherwise.
Yeah, you shouldn't risk jail time for his sexual fantasies.
It's more like a fetish thing.
I don't mind it in itself but I'm not sure how to handle it...