My boyfriend feels bad the sex wasn't that great, is he going to recover?

The most important thing to me is spending time with him, having to have known him for nearly 2 years as graduate school friends initially and then being together for these 6 months. We got intimate not so long ago.

He really feels bad that he had a hard time finding the spot (it took him 3 attempts to get it in) and when it happened, he came quite fast. I've only had one past boyfriend in her early college years but broke up with him long ago. Meanwhile for him, it was really a new experience.

He feels bad though. He feels bad that he's 28 and this happened. Is he going to recover?

Updates:
2 mo
yeah my boyfriend was a virgin and I took his v-card
0 2

Most Helpful Guys

  • It's important to approach the situation with empathy and open communication. Let him know that one experience doesn't define your sexual relationship moving forward. Encourage a conversation about what each of you enjoy and what you both like and how you can make each other comfortable and satisfied. Engage in more foreplay, cuddling, or other forms of physical affection without the pressure of intercourse.

    Given that it was his first time, it’s very understandable that he would ejaculate very fast. Experience it more with him to allow him to improve on his tolerance of ejaculating. There are some techniques one can try to help him. There is this start-stop technique, where his penis is being stimulated until the feeling of ejaculation nears, then stopping and waiting until the urge to ejaculate passes, and then repeating it until he feels its time to come. Another is to stimulate until ejaculation is almost reached and then either he or you squeeze the head of the penis for several seconds. The pressure should not be painful but firm. This can help diminish the urge to ejaculate, and then stimulation can be resumed after about 30 seconds. Alternatively, condoms can decrease penis sensitivity and help delay ejaculation in some men. Thicker condoms can be particularly effective.

    In the end though, he will be alright and with little affection and stimulance from your side, he will be the stallion he dreams off 😉

    • Thank you very much. This really helps.

    • Great reply @mr_twoface

  • He'll get over it. Just keep practicing together.

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What Girls & Guys Said

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  • Psychologically, that's up to him. But logically- sex isn't just PIV. And the really good stuff, the times when your brain disconnects and your body takes over? Getting there takes practice. And experimentation. And missteps. And learning from them.

    One encounter going wrong is hardly the end of the world.

    • If it helps him, I've only been with one past boyfriend before him so he's my 2nd. In addition the break-up was a long time ago so having sex after several years later can also feel like new too.

  • He'll be fine. Just say to him, 'Hey, baby... I know it was a little bit challenging last night, but compared to the other guys who I've been with, you're fantastic, believe me!'

    • He's actually my 2nd (my first had little experience) so I don't have much to compare but thanks.

  • Talk to him about it. Ultimately your climax is your responsibility. Tell him what works for you. Can you climax from intercourse? If he can't last as long as you need, then maybe he could get you more highly surprised before insertion. If you mostly don't climax from intercourse, tell him what works for you. Hand? Mouth? Vibrator? Is there something else that works for you? Tell him. If he can't handle it, he's not the man for you.

  • Sex is not rocket science. Practice makes perfect. He’ll be fine as long as he doesn’t worry about it too much.

    • True it takes time. I don't have much history. I've only been with a past boyfriend before him but since it's been a long time since the break-up, it can feel like new too.

  • tell him he should eat you out first so you are taken care of as well until he learns more self control and can last longer.

  • He is just embarrassed at his lack of experience

  • Won't recover anytime soon till the correction is made

  • He’ll recover just fine

    • yeah, it's nothing to worry about.

  • It’s ok. My mom is having a fling with this guy around that age she says the sex the first time wasn’t that good but now she says it’s awesome they have card like 3x a day when he comes over

  • He will be he failed so badly, poor dude.

  • He might, but feeling inadequate is usually a relationship breaker

    • I wouldn't break-up over my boyfriend learning this new experience. That's a lame reason to call it quits.

  • Ok do yourself a favor and get off the fake female account because you're not helping yourself any

    Second learn new techniques and practice more when you're alone either with a blowup doll or mannequin or something before moving on to an actual live woman

    • I am a woman.