My boyfriend isn't really interested in anything sexual for the past 2 months and I'm having a hard time coping. Do you have any insight to share?

My boyfriend isnt really interested in anything sexual for the past 2 months and Im having a hard time coping. Do you have any insight to share?
I feel conflicted by the situation. It's both frustrating and makes me feel sad at the same time. He makes sexual comments all the time, but even if I initiate a blowjob or something right at that moment, he still declines it. I can't help but take it personally...

We did end up having sex a week ago, but I felt like he wasn't completely into it, so I asked him afterwards if he wasn't really interested in sex that time but did it anyways. He confirmed that to be true, so I told him from now on I don't want to do anything unless it's what he actually wants. He kind of laughed a bit and said that I wouldn't want to go by that rule because he can just masturbate and be fine... I felt rejected and got out of his bed and got dressed immediately. I just feel like this shouldn't be happening. He's 27 and I'm 23. I feel like we're too young to be having these issues.

Today I asked him why he makes those sexual comments if he isn't interested in actually doing anything sexual, and he said he just likes knowing he can get some if he wants it. That answer definitely bothered me and I didn't even know how to respond to it.

Other than the sexual aspect, he's a great boyfriend and I like spending time with him. This is just a huge bummer and emotionally troubling for me to be having sexual interest issues

Any insight or suggestions would be greatly appreciated
1 0

Superb Opinion

  • He could be one of those guys that feels sex is not a high priority. I remember when I was in my early 20's I wanted sex all the time. And you are right, you are both too young to have to deal with this kind of problem... that should come later, like decades later.

    For now, you need to take a good hard look at the relationship and ask yourself if it might change for the better, or never change, or better for you to move on and find another good guy who will be on the same page you are sexually, cause I don't think your current guy is.
    Good luck.

    • Yes, I don't think he feels like sex is as much of a priority to him now as it was when he was 20 years old, but I know in his past relationships there was a lot of sex involved, so it makes me concerned that things are very different for us. I know he has changed since the end of that relationship, but I feel like it's a gigantic change...

    • Well good luck. Think a lot about 'your' future. Sex for me is a big deal, so I hope to find a woman who is on or near the same page as I am.

Most Helpful Guy

  • This is weird, especially given your young ages. Sex is a huge part of a healthy relationship, and it's very unusual for the guy to be reluctant. I don't want to worry you, but are you sure he isn't getting it elsewhere? Is he as straight as he likes to think? I'd have to sit down with them and tell them the truth about how I felt, and ask them why the reluctance; are they seeing someone else? Is there something medical going on? Is he 100 straight? Is there something I do or don't do which causes this reaction? I really hope you get it figured out, because it's obvious you care about him. Good luck.

    • Thanks. We had a serious talk about it tonight and it was fairly enlightening. It wasn't the answer I was expecting but it makes sense and it's something that we can work through together, so I feel a little better about it

    • I'm glad to hear that. Good luck.

    • Thank you.

Most Helpful Girls

  • At first I was wondering if he’s depressed. I might still think he is but I do not like that comment he made. Maybe he felt embarrassed and that’s why he said it. I would recommend couples counseling and a psychiatric evaluation.

  • That reminds me of something / someone. Unsolved mystery so can't help you there

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What Girls & Guys Said

0 11
  • Answer is veeery simple - too much porn.
    He probably spent most of his life masturbating to hardcore porn. His brain got so used to it, that now, sex isn't really that appealing to him. Don't take that personally. But you need to realize that he won't change in short time. Change will take a lot of time.

  • Was the sex good before all this (from your POV)?

    • For me, yeah it was pretty good. He is a lot more experienced than me, but I was very up front about that before we ever became intimate with each other. He knew what he was getting himself into

  • I would consider moving on from him if this behavior continues.

  • When a guy declines a BJ, then something is seriously wrong with him, lol. Are you sure he isn't cheating or addicted to porn?

  • What you are looking for is a more mature man, that knows how to treat a woman.
    If he’s not willing to try, kick him to the curb.

  • I am the same. I prefer masturbation

  • Get rid of this sex thing for sometime, life would be wonderful.

  • find another lover

  • Based on his story or history it sounds like he became pretty good with dating quite very young

  • There’s someone else

  • have u gained weight? gotta be honest and ask yourself some hard questions here

    • Since we started dating I gained like 4 pounds, but I lost it again as of a month ago. So I'm the same weight right now as I was when we started dating

    • well it's time to start gettin this guy to admit what the real issue is, go hard