My boyfriend keeps sending me porn?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is realllly into porn, which I try my best to be okay with. I know I cannot force him to stop watching porn, so its my only choice. He likes to send me the videos he likes, to see if it will turn me on. He only likes one category of porn and sends videos like that over and over to me, new videos almost every day. So, naturally, I start to ask myself why he likes these videos so much. I notice that its big dick rough porn with tiny skinny women with giant asses. I'm average sized, nothing special about my body. I'm sick of seeing these perfect women that he is jacking off to because its making me feel horrible about myself. I asked him if these were the body types or types of girls he is attracted to since he is masturbating to them daily. And now he is very angry that I asked. He sends videos to me every day! How would I not ask or want to know the answer to this eventually? And now he's all like "no more porn for us!" an getting all angry with me. Personally, I dont have an issue with no more porn haha. Why is he so angry with me? Why is he denying he finds these women attractive if he is masturbating to them multiple times a day? Why is he trying to make me feel bad for asking? Is this something woth ending the relationship over? Its something we seem to clash about a lot. We have been together for over a year, so seeing these videos daily for a very long time is starting to annoy me a lot. Am I not enough for him? Not sexy enough? help.

[Gman1]

Some people have addictions, compulsions, and obsessions... It sounds to me like he has built up an imaginary world around porn... The problem is, separating reality from fantasy.
In other words, if he is more into porn than he is in getting with you, this can create a very big problem pertaining to the intimacy and sensuality that you both are capable of sharing with each other.
I don't know the intimates of your relationship with him, so I don't know what your feelings are when you are with him... But that is something you need to take a look at because your feelings matter too.
My suggestion would be to communicate clearly with him... Just let him know, "Hey... I like you, & I like being with you I'm but I don't share the porn fetish that you do and I'm not interested in receiving porn pix or watching porn with you"... "It's not my thing and I want to feel like when you're with me, you're with me."
The reason I think he gets upset is because he has a certain amount of guilt, I believe he wants you to like what he likes so that he doesn't feel guilty about his little addiction because he wants to be able to indulge freely in it without repercussions... You can trust that this will not be an easy topic to discuss with him without him getting upset... just don't mention the other girls, or the models that are in porn... They do not represent the average woman, nor do the men in porn represent the average man, nor does the sex represent the average type of sexual relations most couples share between each other in a kind loving "intimate" relationship... It's all based on an exaggerated fantasy platform that has nothing to do with how things are between real people in real life... It's a fantasy world... the only thing you need to clearly get across is that it is not your thing and you don't want to be a part of it...
The thing of it is, you are the only one that can decide what is tolerable to you and what is not...
Do you enjoy the feelings he envokes in you through his porn obsession?
Does he make you feel loved, desired or attractive as a woman?
Is he capable of being truly intimate with you?
Are these the type of things you desire for yourself?
These are the types of questions you need to be asking yourself.
Porn is no different than any other type of addiction... Some people can walk away after one hit, and other people become junkies.

[BatDoc]

You're falling into the same trap a lot of women do in this situation, which is compare yourself to the other girls in the videos. Your boyfriend doesn't give a crap whether you look like them or not. He is more interested in the action portrayed in the videos.

I watch porn as well, and honestly, sometimes it is about the girl and how she looks, but most of the time it is about the act taking place. It has nothing to do with the particular girl. Guys don't make comparisons like that. Only girls make those comparisons against other girls.

He's angry with you because you're being petty about it in his mind. You're making it about you versus the girls in the videos rather than saying whether or not you find the act (big dick rough sex) attractive or sexy.

Answers here are simple. Whether you think you're good enough or sexy enough for him or not, you're right. Only you can change your outlook on that. If he is in a relationship with you, then you're clearly sexy enough and good enough for him in his view.

Is it worth ending the relationship over? If you can't come to terms with him watching porn, then yes. He's not going to change that aspect and it will just cause problems later on.

Maybe you just need to be honest with him and tell him you don't want him sending you the videos every day.

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend looking at porn is fine and shouldn't be an issue. It's male visual fantasy and no different than female mental fantasy. But him sending it to you is the same as you forcing him to sit and watch a chick flick with you and telling him to be more like the guy in the movie. It's putting false expectations onto you which you don't or can't live up to.
He is most likely one of those people who can't differentiate between male and female differences in cognitive thinking. He assumes that because he is turned on by visual stimulus that the same stimulus will get you going in the same way, which is seldom true. It's the same mentality guys have who send dick pics to random females, they feel that because they like vagina pics, a girl will instantly be aroused by a dick pic.
He needs to be explained that girls often require more than a simple graphic display of fornication to get aroused. That his form of fantasy isn't the same as your form of fantasy and if he wants you get you going.

Also what he is watching in porn doesn't reflect anything about reality, just like how a rape fantasy doesn't mean a girl wants to be raped. Most guys have a particular reason for liking the video or image that turns them on, but it doesn't have anything to do with the "attraction" to the women in the video. Guys don't compare girls to us or other girls, we are the ones who are critical of our insecurities and compare ourselves to other women. He isn't jerking off to those "perfect women" he is more than likely jerking off to a simple part of the video or idea it creates. Ask him what about a particular video he likes. I bet it won't be "Well she's HOT", it will be something like, "I like the way her hips move" or "The look in her eyes when she goes down on him".

His fantasy has no more to do with his happiness with you or attraction to you, than you fantasy has to do with your attraction or happiness to him.

[Anonymous]

I had similar problems with my husband early in our marriage. I totally hear you about questioning if you're not enough. It is a horrible feeling and nobody deserves that. I can't tell you if it's worth ending the relationship, because I don't know the rest of the relationship outside of this aspect. I can tell you that how I dealt with it. My husband and I no longer watch porn together, and he is not allowed to watch porn if I'm home. I was upfront with my feelings and told him I felt like he was choosing another woman over me for sexual satisfaction, and it made me feel like shit. I told him that seeing these beautiful women, and knowing he's fantasizing about being with them made me feel undesirable and ugly. Especially if I'm home and available for sex. I asked him to be more secretive about his porn watching, and to not do it when I'm home. It's working for us.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Honestly, he likely got mad because he felt trapped; he is trying to share something he likes with you and it's clear that it made you feel bad, so instead of owning up to his mistake, he lashed out instead to relieve himself of the blame.

Honestly I think your boyfriend is acting really offside. If you want to watch porn then fine, but to obsess over it seems more like an addiction than an occasional way to get off. I would tell him straight up that it makes you uncomfortable, you don't like it, and it makes you feel bad, so he needs to either tone it down or pack his things. I wouldn't ever be able to stay with a guy like that, personally.

[solochick]

Honestly you just need to dump him while you can. If you pursue this relationship one day you might not be able to get out because of kids of marriage or whatnot. You might not mind it now, but one day you're going to say "Why am I putting up with this?" There are some things worth compromising on in a relationship, but porn isn't one of them.

[AmandaLynn1930]

he's probably trying to get you into watching it. or maybe he's showing you what he likes so you guys can try it. maybe trying to give you idea.

[AlphaMale1]

Why do you stay with this guy?

[superphily]

Sounds like he is trying to convert you to watch porn. You decide if you want to convert or not get into it.

[throwit]

Wtf that guy sounds like a psycho

[Blackjack_]

He seems like an addict to be honest. Thats not normal at least to be that obsessed

[Bimbobambo]

Lol seems to be a weirdo.. looks like also weirdos get women XD I dont know why he is so angry. Maybe because you're right. I would've broke up a long Time ago Girl. 1 year of getting porn every day... always the Same type.. and always with the same type that doesn't fit to your type. Lol he would look like Team Rocket from Pokémon, when they lose at the end of every episode and get shot so far away that you can't see them anymore. You're too kind hearted..

[Asker]

this is just a small aspect in our relationship. everything else is perfect.

[Bimbobambo]

I told you what I would do. If he is a serial Killer and brings the heads of his victims home every evening, you would also not say "Well, yeah but everything else is perfect y'know?"

[HookingSwan]

wow Im sorry. He seems to have an addiction.
Thats not exactly normal behaviour.

I think it will always b a problem girl. unless he solves his problem.

I have nothing against porn.

But his viewing rate doesn't seem healthy.

[summiter]

Tell him no more sex unless he stops sending it to you. by the way how is your sex life with him? How often do you two have sex? He has to prefer sex with you versus jerking off. What are your thoughts?

[BertMacklinFBI]

he probably got angry because he assumed you were trying to trap him in an argument about him desiring those bodies more than yours or something, ehh seems like an assumption and he acted out of pre-mature impulse.

If you don't want to watch them then just stop watching them. cool if he watches them but you don't have too, tell him to fuck off or fuck himself, literally and figuratively XD

[Asker]

do you think he really doesn't desire porn stars bodies over mine?

[BertMacklinFBI]

we all have our fantasies when we watch porn, like for instance it seems your boyfriend just loves to indulge in petite girls with huge asses, but that doesn't mean that's the only type of body he will go for, not only that its not very realistic being that many guys who have a porn preference, that preference doesn't even correlate with their immediate partner. its all fantasy and sure some guys might chase that fantasy to their reality but majority of guys leave that fantasy at the screen and trust me they still do like you for your body and because you have a lot more to offer than some girl on a screen who they will most likely never meet or fuck. just remember, you have more to offer than a pornstar on a screen, including actual sex :P

[666threesixes666]

"Am I not enough for him?" try to give it up more to the point where he stops. maybe he's just trying to teach u new kung fu. =)

[TripleAce]

I think he has a problem with porn and not in a good way. In a very bad way... in a damaging way. I'd put my foot down and put an end to this nonsense...

[abundantlyrich]

He needs professional help.

[CottonMuffin]

I'm not even religious , but he needs jesus as well.

[theguyisback]

I don't think it's about the "type of girl" he likes to masturbate to.. It's usually the scenario in the video and picture you and him.. and he might just Love to see huge dick going into a girl. The smaller the girl, the bigger the dick looks, make sense? Perhaps his dick isn't very big, he might be sending them to you to see what you say about the size of the guy's cock..
I have regular fantasies of seeing my girl take dicks much bigger than mine.. Huge turn on.
Does this help give you some insight?

[RajeshTheJeshter]

You need to invite him to threesome with your skinny friend. Then you'll be his forever.

[Intraluminal]

HI,

I read your post and felt that I had to respond. There is no need for you to be "OK" with your boyfriend being "realllly into porn." While you cannot force him to stop watching porn, it is NOT your only choice. You can decide not to go with him, and that might be the BETTER choice. If he constantly and obsessively watches a particular type of porn, which you describe as "big dick rough porn with tiny skinny women with giant asses" that he's always "jacking off to" then he is going continue to FIXATE of this porn and will eventually be unable to be attracted to anything else. Have you ever considered WHY being a "jerkoff" is considered an insult? It's because it is childish and immature and makes it difficult to have a normal relationship if it is carried to an extreme as he seems to be doing.

Why is he so angry with you? Probably because this is his obsessive interest. You don't share it, and your lack of interest makes his obsessive interest all the more obvious. You'll notice that drug addicts hang out with other addicts for the same reason - they don't like facing the idea that what they like to do is abnormal. In psychological terms it is called "normalizing." If I hang out with other addicts who will do anything for a fix, then I'm normal. If I will do anything for a fix, and the people around me act like i'm crazy, then I feel abnormal, and no one likes that.

Yes, this obsessive, addictive behavior is something worth ending the relationship over, unless you are going to be able to share his attraction to girls with big booties.

He addiction has nothing to do with your attractiveness or lack thereof. It's his problem, not yours.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Best response thus far.

[schnipdip]

Start sending him gay porn videos back

[Bards]

Those women aren't women he cares about
A guy to flap to any "perfect" on screen chick but you'll be there only one he loves

Let him have his porn and tell him to stop sending it

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Uhg sound like my ex... if you continue down this path you will lead off and lose him over this. I would say that this is harmless, however since you are not one of those types who enjoys getting a little kinky I would suggest telling him. Remember... you go at your own pace and he should not force you to look at those videos... I would never do that.

[tayoker]

Once ure addicted to something, even if they hv it they would ask for it... that's addiction

[ShayanMortazavi]

Lol what the fuck?

[AngryHorny]

In my opinion the biggest favour you could do this guy would be to dump him. It might wake him up to the fact that women have feelings and addiction to porn isn't a thing to be proud of.

Although I realise porn addiction isn't considered a thing.