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My husband is going to watch me have sex with another man on Sunday (his idea/fantasy). I've said yes. I'm super nervous about this. I need advice?

My husband is going to watch me have sex with another man on Sunday (his idea/fantasy). Ive said yes. Im super nervous about this. I need advice?
About six months ago my husband told me he really wanted to watch me have sex with another man. After getting over completely shocked I thought quite a bit about it and decided it was something I'd be very interested in trying out. Over the past few months we've tried some other things to see if watching me with another man is something he really wanted to do (we started out with him watch me flirt with other guys and worked up to bigger things. However, we didn't go so far as sex). However, he's consistently (and strangely) enjoyed it (and often found it arousing). To make a long story short we've already picked out the guy he's going to watch me have sex with and we're planning on doing it on Sunday. We've also laid out our rules for what is/isn't allowed (I won't go into detail, but we're basically allowed to go all the way as long as its just sexual and not emotional. There's also a few kinky things he's requested to watch us do) We've let the other guy know the rules.
I haven't told my husband because I feel guilty (even though he wants me to do it) but the more I've thought about it the more I want it/excited I get about it. I've never openly admitted it, but having a non-monogamist sex life with many men has always been super appealing to me. Moreover, I find the guy I'm going to have sex with super sexually appealing (and he's 16 years younger, which also turns me on). It's actually gotten to the point where I might be a bit too excited. What if I enjoy it too much and make him super jealous? What if he doesn't like it the way he thinks he will? Could it cause problems in our relationship? I'm really excited and really nervous at the same time. Could you please give advice on how to make things go as smoothly as possible? (everyone really enjoys it and no one is hurt)
1 4

Superb Opinion

  • After work every night a couple of the guys that I work with we would go down to this Deli bar and have a couple Martini beers one night I walked into the bathroom withstanding they're peeing guy walks up next to me we had seen each other in there many times and he asked if he could ask me a couple questions I said sure I finished my walk over was washing my hands he said you've met my wife before having you and I said yes a couple times because I would like to ask you a couple questions see if you're interested he told me that they have been talkin and because of some problems if he's having he can't please her anymore and he asked me if I wanted to take her home I was kind of shocked I asked him if he help me understand a little bit more LOL we're both walking out the door and he said do you mind if I grab my wife and we come over and sit with you all my friends left I was just getting ready to leave and I said sure
    So she came over we started talking he told me what was going on and he said that she thinks you're really cute and so we decided to ask you and I wanted to know if this was a kink or something was he going to watch and he said no did they love each other and he just wanted to make sure she was happy

    I asked them both somewhere down the road would it cause any problems I mean would you throw it in each others face or something if you're not having a good day and they both assured me that no they were secure in their relationship

    So I agreed with it and he left we sat there for about another hour just talkin getting to know each other I took her out to dinner and then I asked her if she wanted to go back to my house if you said okay but let's not do anything there that's go to my house and do it and I said okay that's fine well we started making out at my house one thing led to another and it happened and after that she said we should get going to her house I really wanted to take a shower because I just hated even doing that just after getting that off work so that way we both took a shower on the way to her house I said where's your husband going to be and she said probably in his room we're going to go to my room I said does he want to watch her and she said she didn't think so I said what why is there a camera in there and she said she didn't think so so anyway we get to her house we go into her room he's nowhere to be found we're sitting on the bed making out one thing led to another and she had told me on the way over there that she was still totally turned on and love the way that I made her come as we making out she was a lot more aggressive and she kept telling me she wanted it bad at my house she moaned it was kind of noisy that her house I mean she let it go she moan like crazy I don't even remember half the steps that she was saying but it was loud LOL but anyway we did this for like three months I would go over there to her house sometimes she would sneak away and come to my house anyway about eight months later she had got a hold of me and said that she was getting a divorce from her husband and that he was throwing that in her face I just thought that was totally wrong so that's what my answers about no matter what you just have to really think about this because somewhere down the road it might come back to bite you in the butt

    • Right on!

Most Helpful Guy

  • Good luck, but the odds are heavily stacked against your relationship surviving this.

    1) If you think you can ALL do this without emotional attachment, think again.. and if you've already thought of the worst case scenario? Again.. think again..

    I will give you a worst case scenario. The 3rd guy in that triangle wants you again, but you and your husband decide it no longer works... The guy gets jealous and ends up killing you both.. Granted it's a worst case scenario.. but would you be willing to bet your lives on it not happening?

    2) Scenario 2. You decide you loved it and your husband changes his mind, cannot deal with it. He ends up growing to resent you for it. That could take many twists and turns, none of which turn out good.

    3) Further down the line, you get into an argument over something trivial, him leaving the lid off the toothpaste, or leaving the toilet seat up. One of you brings up, the other guy, and once again any bitterness will surface causing no end of arguments.

    4) Even if this is a success and it becomes a regular occurrence. Another scenario for you, he sleeps with other women and gets a sexual disease which he then passes on to you and you to your husband. Who gets the blame? How will that manifest?

    My advice to you is:

    Fantasies are great when you play them out in your head, but have elements of danger when played out in the real world. I get you both are excited by the pitfalls, but just because you think you have all bases covered that CAN go wrong? I assure you there are plenty you have yet to discover, and as everyone knows, anything that CAN go wrong, usually does.. There's even a law about it!

Most Helpful Girls

  • I've talked to tons of men and women about such matters.
    Why in the fuck do people feel the need to go from 0 mph to 80 mph in one fell swoop?
    Why not just set out to go 10 mph? 80 mph could be awesome or tragic, so don't go there.

    This is my advice for guys with this kink:

    "Baby, I've been racking my brain for months, trying to figure out the perfect birthday gift for you. And don't be mad at me, but I've asked my co-workers to chime in with their ideas. I've gotten some really great ideas, and now it's just a matter of narrowing it down to the one perfect gift for you. But along the way, a gal suggested a four-handed massage. Princess for a day theme. Of course you would get the other gift, but this would just be an extra thing. You could be fully clothed or whatever you desire, but it would be a four-handed massage. Oh, and this is the crazy part...
    When I showed your pics to my work gang, I got tons of volunteers for the massage.
    But what blew me away, is that even though I got tons of guys to volunteer, I think I got more women to volunteer. But that would be up to you to pick the gender of the extra hands." 10 mph.

    • Wow, what a prudent & hot idea!

  • I’ve been in a similar situation and I know the feeling of excitement and fear of enjoying it too much. There’s a big chance someone will end up with the short end of the stick no matter what. Either you’re not going to be able to fully enjoy it because you’re too afraid to hurt your SO or your SO is going to be hurt that you enjoy it too much. But being completely honest and communicating about it is key. Trusting and supporting and most importantly respecting one another is very important if you want it to last. Also, if it’s going to happen on Sunday you are the top priority and not him. That has to be absolutely clear to him, even if it’s his desire to see you with other men. At the end of the day it has to be for your pleasure and desires and he should respect and appreciate that.

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What Girls & Guys Said

5 48

  • I have a friend who did this. Like you, his wife did not want to do it. After her children were grown, she decided to give him what he had wanted for years.

    She ended up running off with the guy she had sex with. They got divorced and he lost the house his father built in the divorce settlement. One of her two sons hated her and never spoke to her again. Then two years later after her 20+ year marriage and relationship with her children were ruined, the guy she ran off with died.

    This is a completely true story - all because he wanted to watch his wife have sex with someone else.

    • Dam this story is a harsh warning to those who want to see their partner having sex with someone else.

    • @Luopio27 Yea it is. I was at their wedding. She cried. He cried. I tired hard not to. They were in love and very happy. Before this all happened they still seemed very happy and compatible. It's none of my business what goes on behind closed doors, but damn! He really fucked up and paid for it.

    • A friend of mine in high school offered me a chance to fuck his girlfriend who was willing to fo so. I declined.

  • Believe me, a fantasy should stay as a fantasy. Never act it out. It WILL end in tears. Once done, you can't undo it. You have to live with it as long as your marriage exists.

    There have been so many almost identical cases, here on GAG, over the years I have been here. Not one ended happily to my knowledge.

  • How can I have my cake and eat it, too? Life doesn’t give you those options!

    You are about to do something which has the potential to end your marriage and, if it goes badly, you can’t undo it. Is it really worth taking that chance?

    • Listen to this gentleman Asker

  • Jealous? Isn't that what he's looking for?

  • "What if I enjoy it too much and make him super jealous?" That's for him to deal with. It was his idea. Maybe he won't want it to happen again.

  • This is a very dumb thing to do. It's not something people in a healthy relationship do.

  • Those girls are exactly correct in their advice. Fantasy is NEVER as hot in reality. Like they said, once done, you can't 'unring the bell" and you can't 'undo" it. I would REALLY be careful and think it through YOURSELF and maybe with your husband.

    Even though your husband may not agree with what I say AND the Girls below, you can't change it!!! It's a done deal and you MAY live to regret it.

    With all that said, I have had the same fantasy, and did have my girlfriend, meet and jack-off antoher guy she met on line, AND she said she THOUGHT "about kissing it on the head" while she was jacking him off. She didn''t do that part. I confess, the idea of her jacking him off, and maybe even sucking him got me hot... BUT the idea of watching them fuck is another thing altogether.

    Think it through, and I hope you do what is the best thing for your marriage.

  • My advice is don't do it. You will regret it for the rest of your life

  • Sometimes this doesn't end well.
    He may see you really enjoying it, more than you do with him, or get so turned on you do things you haven't done with him.
    It's one of those becareful what you ask for.
    Enjoy the moment!

  • It's just another bit of se. Just enjoy it and move on with things

  • sounds like he has a cuck or cuckhold fantasy. if he wants to watch you sleep and/or have sex with others.

  • Lol your husband is every women's dream.

  • It’s risky.. there is always risk of someone getting hurt

  • And that's how relationships go down the drain.

  • I have only heard of a few marriages that lasted after this type of fantasy. You have to ask your husband if he is absolutely sure he wants you to do this and he is able to accept everything that could happen.

  • This is something iv wondered. If I wasn't religious and my wife and I treated it like a form of masturbation could we?

    It holds no appeal to me to see her with another man it turns my stomach.

    But the idea of us being together for so long and getting tired of each other or wanting new experiences.

    Managing sex and the emotions that inevitably come with it isn't something I could do.

    Knowing that and what I feel the good book says on it. iv said I'd be celebrate till marriage. Because I want that bond with 1 person. Sharing will never be something I'd consent to

  • He's playing with fire, and he's probably going to get burnt.
    But hey- stupid is as stupid does.

  • Has he showed any signs yet that he doesn't like it or doesn't like your excitement? Also is the guy that is going to fuck you does he have a bigger dick then he does?

  • There are very few men in the world that are really comfortable with that even if they say they want you to do that... In fact they're just really curious about it most of them.. sometimes when it actually happens I've heard stories and actually known people that is broken up the relationship because the guy thought he wanted it as a fantasy but it turns out that it hurt him actually watching it because he was merely curious and not fantasizing he wasn't in touch with his own emotions and it wasn't aware of his own feelings and I know at least two couples that have broke up over something like this.. no kidding just be careful

  • Wow! This could be reafucking her pussy not your she is blowing not you could you deal with thatlly fucken great ar a real problem. First is your outlook sounds great but him watching I think is every mans dream of his wife fucking while he watches you get fucked sucked blown maybe anal. NOW could you watch him fuck some girl knowing he is eating her pussy not yours. you watching his dick going in and out of her pussy and like you want to see him fucking he want to see you fucking. If you keep it that way and you want to give him his pleasure and maybe he get to fuck while you watch for you pleasure IT CAN WORK JUST MAKE SURE IT FUCKING FOR EACH OTHERS PLEASURE.





    lo

    • some of this got lost when I hit send

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Home >  Sexual Relationships  > My husband is going to watch me have sex with another man on Sunday (his idea/fantasy). I've said yes. I'm super nervous about this. I need advice?