My wife wants a threesome but I don't think I would feel comfortable with it?

Question

My wife has told me she's always wanted a threesome but I don't feel comfortable sharing her with others an I being silly?

Barbaric · Accepted Answer

You're not being silly at all. Start planning for a divorce just in case. Seriously.

A woman asking you to have sex with other men, especially being insistent on it despite you clearly not being comfortable, is a woman who doesn't love you or respect you fully.

You also say that you're afraid she'll leave if you don't give in and do it. That in itself is a sign that it's gonna go bad anyway. If she can tell you think that way already, she's already lost respect for you. The fact that you say she's not into sex in the same way she was before shows this too.

The only way you could possibly gain back that respect is actually to show her that you have the balls to put your foot down and risk her leaving. Giving in will only lead to her losing more respect for you and eventually leaving anyway.

It's also impossible to assert yourself in your relationship if you do nothing but give in to the other out of fear they might leave. Good relationships involve compromise, not bending over backwards trying to cater to their every whim to stop them from going.

I don't think that sitting and talking about feelings helps much in this situation, nor does giving an ultimatum. If I were you I'd already be planning my exit anyway.

Bandit74 · Accepted Answer

I don't think you're being silly, but if it's something she feels really strongly about it could end up leading to infidelity or divorce. Perhaps you could say you're only willing if you get to have threesomes with women too. That might make her back off or if she agrees then you being able to sleep with other women might make you feel better about her sleeping with other men. Otherwise beyond explaining to her that you're not comfortable with it or trying therapy I don't know what else you can reasonably do.

Also is this the first time she's mentioned this to you or did you know about her fantasy before you got married?

I'm just curious because it always seems odd to me when people get married to someone without having discussed that kind of stuff prior.
:/

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Some of these comments are pathetic. It's okay if it's another woman but not a man? Typical 🙄

Asker, you do what feels right to you. If you're not comfortable sharing your wife? Don't. You sound like a sensible man to me, as most people don't like sharing their partner. I know I wouldn't.

Mickey9999 · Accepted Answer

Just be honest. You owe that to yourself and her and don’t forget she owes you to respect your opinion on it. And honest open discussion will either open your eyes or hers to each other’s opinions on it.

Changiis07 · Answer

No not silly at all. Why would you want a threesome when you have someone whom you have married. If you wanted a threesome then don’t marry and be single be a hoe

loveismyreligion · Answer

Ok. Have you shared your feelings about it. I would want to. I've said I want a threesome to just to see what my other half would say. Just being honest because I had to see if he would cheat on me like the others have. And if she wants this you have to let her be in charge of the whole thing. And please whatever you do watch what and how you say things. You'll know what I mean. I. e. yeah she's hot is a big no no. Lol just let her take the reigns on it.

TheDongMonologues · Answer

MMF? Fuck that. Tell her to STFU, strip her clothes, and have your way with her... or if that's what you usually do, do the opposite -- delicately undress her, explore her body, be all romantic, and lock her gaze while kissing her. Don't be ones of these cucks.

standingUP · Answer

For me it truly matters of the gender she wanted. I am a bit bias in if it was a guy she wanted to join I'd be heart broken she thinks this way. If it was a woman then let's see what she looks like... big difference for myself.

I have had two fmf amazing experiences. Nobody I was in a relationship just F-buddies. Never did or would I share a woman with another dude.

Poppymarie · Answer

Not silly at all! I don’t blame you tbh

4eyes2mouths · Answer

Both sides need to be comfortable with it for it to work. She should understand your feelings and respect you. Weather it being with another man or woman is irrelevant. If you don't want it... you shouldn't do it.

For couples that want to try something different I would suggest her to get a dildo she can stick on the wall and she can use that on herself while she sucks you. It's a comprise.

AN1995 · Answer

I did it with my girlfriend.
I let one of our close friends fuck her. And it was a good time.

Dont know if it counts as a 3 sum tho because he fucked her first. Then i went and had my turn with her after he was finished.

make sure everyone is clean, and she's on birth control. And have fun...

if i like the guys, and everyone is clean. Id share her with 5+ guys,
under the condition i can sleep with her friends also

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

No, not all. It's completely normal for you to feel that way.

humanearth · Answer

Hey this coming from a guy that was in your shoes.

I thought of all kinds of things. But what if I like it, what if I never a chance like this again, what if she starts cheating on me, and this and that.

Well I said fuck it.

Turned out to be real fun, we did it with a men and women.

So don't knock it till you try it

jgirl99 · Answer

If you don't want it, then the answer is no. Plain and simple

Kabluie · Answer

Yes, you are being silly. This could lead into something more in your sex life, and exploration is better than having a door shut. Could be another relationship in the picture (non-mono/poly), hot wifing, cuckold/queen. Possibilities that could be talked about if it becomes regular

funride74 · Answer

Isn't it for most of is guys normal that we don't want to share our girls? Normal thing. Only on your position I'd like to understand what's the kick for her. This might help discussing it

chriscdi · Answer

i feel you broski, just tell her, if she doesn't care about how you feel, dip

douride2 · Answer

Not at all. I would be uncomfortable if my partner wanted to bring another person in to.

saddieNeedanswer · Answer

maybe give her alternative solution instead of another man... why not sex toys? dildo etc

Thatsamazing · Answer

Dude say yes and just say it has to be another girl.

MysteriesStranger · Answer

Man if you ain't comfortable then you ain't comfortable. If feel like you can get over it then try it but if it's a hard no you gotta let her know.

FatCat2021 · Answer

With a girl or guy?

Dchrls78104 · Answer

No, you are not. Marriage is not entitlement. Just because she is your wife, doesn't mean you have to blindly go along with everything she wants. Let her know how you feel about it and stick to what you believe; don't enable her, she has to understand and respect your feelings and position. But of course you should have had this conversation before you got married.