Porn habits, anyone else finding the partner watching woman that are totally opposite from yourself?

[Anonymous]

I find this super frustrating! My partner watches so much porn completely opposite to me!! And the worst part is his fantasy is his fantasy inside and outside of porn!.
I am 5.5ft tall, brunette and pretty much have a normal size butt and boobs for a Petit woman. He always expresses he loves blonds in a joking way and serious. I almost coloured my hair blond for his satisfaction but felt that I dont need to change for him, but he also is happy with who I am... so confused 😕
We can not go anywhere without him later on in that day watching porn to a female he saw that day! Example: a police officer, stutes flight attendant, nurse, doctor, Asian woman, zoo keeper, blond with nice arse or huge boobs, waitress. And he would have sex with all these woman in reality so it's not just a fantasy... if one was to offer to have sex with him or if he was single he would happilysay yes... he's favourite woman are officers, flight attendants and... milfs and I am 4 years younger than him... we have a son and everything else together but this is so annoying and brings my confidence in my self down. is this... normal?
We still have a normal sex life and there are no issues when it comes to the bedroom... but I feel I'm not everything he desires or wants.
He is obviously addicted to porn.. we have had a discussion about it and said I don't like it but he always says I'm the one he's with and shouldn't worry. Anyone else go through the same?

[Anonymous]

"He would have sex with all these women in reality, so it's not just fantasy." That's not how fantasy works. He hasn't slept with them and can't. That's why he fantasizes. The point of porn and fantasy is to let your mind wander to something different. If you work in an office, you don't fantasize about being in an office. You fantasize about being a CEO or something.


He doesn't fantasize about you because he already has you and you can love something very much, but still need a break from it now and then. Imagine your favorite food. Mine is steak. If I ate steak for every meal, every day, it shouldn't be surprising that I'd want a hamburger, even though the steak is much better. Does that mean I'd rather have only hamburgers forever? No. Steak is better.

But that's how humans work. We want what we can't have and if something gets too normal, our minds wander somewhere new and interesting. That's normal. Are you going to let your insecurities get in the way of your own happiness? Be jealous of an image on a screen that doesn't even know your guy exists?

[Asker]

I completely understand and I thank you for the information you have a point!. None of this is so much of a big deal I don't mind it, but when he watches is over females he sees when we are out together Or as a family then goes and finds something similar to toss of to... well then it's an issue for me, that says he's seeking different.

[shanshu]

Everyone has fantasy outside of their relationship, it's not that you don't satisfy him enough, sometimes people have different desires over time, sound like he like women in uniform.

Now he's either trying to be a good husband and not trouble you or pester you to dress up in uniform or he knows you don't want to do this sort of thing so he releases himself of his fantasy through porn.

If you want to move him away from porn your going to have to spicy up your sex life, indulge his fantasy, not by dying your hair, maybe get a bling wig and uniform and do abit of role play and act like a nurse or someone.

It's not about not being yourself, it's the thrill of doing something kinky.

[Asker]

Oh I definitely do a lot of the dressing up and there is a lot of spicing things up in the bedroom that's never been am issue for us. I'm the only person who an actually tolerate and give him what to some might seem not normal... but that's not the issue, it's why be with me if you want different shape and size, so confusing. And dressing up as someone totally different won't ever stop and from watching porn. I don't have an issue with him watching it, it's the fact he will watch it over some female he has seen while we are having a family day, it's disrespectful and belittling.

[shanshu]

In the end it's just a fantasy, I think it's more the innocents of it of how this or that woman that he sees that may not look naughty could act naughty

[Razp_Sorbet]

Nope watches scarily similar

[Wise4myage]

If he's addicted to porn, than whats the use staying with him when it obviously bothers you so much.

[jahaims]

I watch a huge variety of porn

[Twalli]

So the thing about porn it's not real. Like some of my favorite porn stars are nothing like my girlfriend. It doesn't bother her because I don't actually seek sex with them. I just like how they look naked. Obviously if I was single and they offered I would accept but it doesn't mean I like my girlfriend any less. They're just a fantasy of something that I am relatively sure will never happen.

[In_Trance]

Smh... chill

[Waldoe]

MEN... want what they don't have, then they regret getting it... 100% of the time, men are idiots, I know... I've been one for 71 years